Day To Day Crap Archive

New Car

Posted December 31, 2020 By kmarrs

In lovely news, I have a new car. Car insurance paid for about a third of it. My parents paid for the rest. She is a 2014 Ford C-Max Hybrid SEL. My favorite part is that she is Bluetooth compatible so I can play my phone music through the car speakers. I’ve been wanting to be able to do that for a long time. She has fancy things like a push-button ignition and seat warmers and that is all lovely. But really, she gets me where I need to go, plays my music, and isn’t at risk of falling apart on me. So I’m over the moon.

Isn’t she pretty? I haven’t named her yet. I’ve had her for a few weeks at this point, but I immediately got Covid so I have barely driven her. Since she’s a C-Max I almost want to name her Max, but that’s my name and I don’t feel like sharing it.

Hmm. Actually. She’s an SEL. Maybe Selina?

Anyway, the Matrix that died in the accident was old and needed replaced. I wish I too hadn’t almost died in the process. I would have liked to have taken it out back and shot it when I was damn well ready. But it was nice to have insurance money to put towards this one. I got about 2.7k. So silver linings, I guess.

Be the first to comment

Alone but not Lonely

Posted December 24, 2020 By kmarrs

Robin is settled into Seattle and has been for a few weeks, at this point. The kids miss her like crazy. They show it in various ways. Sammy is a little more outspoken with it. Thomas tries to hide his pain where he thinks we can’t see it. Lucas is a lot harder to read, but I know he does miss daddy. Even Iris misses her.

I’m a little more on the fence myself. I more miss having help than I do the company. When the kids started feeling better they were obnoxious for a couple of days and I was so sick I could barely move. I could have used a healthy adult. But the thing is, had Robin been here, Robin would have had Covid too, (I caught it the day after she left and passed it around the house from there) and not only would she have been unable to be helpful, but I would have been sharing my sick bed. I’m very selfishly grateful I didn’t have to share my bed while sick.

The first two times we separated missing her company was a big part of why I took her back. Granted, we worked on our shit and were healthier when we got back together. But I think things would have been different if I hadn’t been so lonely. This time I have a couple of dozen friends at my disposal, and yeah, none of them are local, but I’m ok with that. I’m not alone unless I put my phone down to read. And it’s a huge help.

I’ll be a lot more hesitant to take Robin back this time. And while that is something I fully intend to do in maybe about 5 years, that is fully conditional on where we stand as individuals. We are both in need of some therapy to be better people. And I won’t settle for anything less than what I deserve in a partner.

Anyway. I do in some ways miss Robin. But not as much as I feared I would. And I’m relieved by this, but I also feel guilt. I’m going to have to work on that guilt in therapy because me not missing Robin as much as I arbitrarily think I should is fine but the guilt it brings isn’t healthy.

Be the first to comment

Zoo Trip! Zoo Trip!

Posted September 24, 2020 By kmarrs

I took Sammy to the zoo this past weekend as a belated birthday trip. We have a membership so it’s super easy to just pack up and go to the zoo a dozen times a year. Things slowed down when COVID hit, but we’re getting back into the swing of it.

This trip was a little different than our normal trip though. You see, our zoo as an adventure cove with all sorts of fair rides and such. Also scattered through the park are additional rides like pony rides and a train through North America. Our long time favorite is the 1914 carousel that I always find the money for, but usually, we can’t afford the other rides so I have to tell her no. This time, however, I asked my mom to sponsor a couple of ride bracelets that basically give us limitless access to all of them and she agreed. They are actually a pretty great bargain.

The first ride we went on when we got there was this water roller coaster. It had two drops that weren’t extremely high, but there was a splash involved with each. About a minute, or less, after getting seated and starting our way through it, Sammy decided that actually she is afraid of heights and didn’t really want to get wet, but it was way too late for that. Luckily I was able to hold her tight and she didn’t die of freight but she did have some regrets by the end.

The next ride we almost went on is that boat that swings back and forward. We made it to the front of the line before Sammy decided that maybe it also went to high and actually she’d like to go ahead and skip it. I didn’t give her any hassle. Limits and boundaries are healthy and to be respected.

She did, however, enjoy a nice pony ride. And we rode the train together. Then we made our way to the camel rides and we got to ride one together. She was a little nervous through that because camels are taller than she expected, but she eased up and decided it was fun after all by about halfway through. Then we made our way to the carousel and rode that a couple of times before it was time to leave because the zoo was closing.

We did, actually, see a handful of animals too. She loves the big cats so I made sure she saw the lions and the cheetahs. We didn’t manage to see the tigers, but that’s ok. There is always the next trip. We also saw the seals which is a new exhibit that I love with all my heart. My friend works for a seal rescue in Ireland so I’m learning to appreciate them more than ever.

We’re going back on Halloween. This time we’ll actually focus on seeing the animals. (Though there is always carousel money.) The animals will have pumpkin enrichment and it’s a great final fall trip before it gets really cold. Not that the cold has ever stopped us. But a lot of animals den over winter so the winter trips are less productive.

I really enjoy having unlimited access to the zoo. I’m glad I got the kids a membership from Santa this last Christmas. That will be the regular gift from him from now on. It’s something we can all enjoy and it’s right about the Santa price point.

Here are some photos of Sammy I took that day that I enjoy.

Here is the water roller coaster. Sammy has decided she’ll try it again when she’s 25.

This is the swinging boat ride she almost went on. It looked fun.

There were a few other rides I would have loved for her to try. But she just wasn’t ready and I’m not mean enough to push her. She did the roller coaster so I’m super proud of her, even if she does have regrets.

Be the first to comment

Quarantine Chronicles Part 5

Posted July 6, 2020 By kmarrs

This is going to be long because I’m super fucking behind. I’m sorry.

Day 61 of isolation

The shrubbery came! All my plants are in the ground! We are now thoroughly enjoying the space I created in my own backyard!

I took the 16yo and Iris creeking in my favorite creek. It was a delight to forge the creek with my eldest 2. In a couple of weeks, we’re going to go back with the littles. Just need to get them aquatic shoes first so they aren’t wearing heavy sneakers in the water.

I don’t know how long the quarantine will last. I bunkered down early and I’m going to stick with it until the government forces me back to work. But it’s nice to have the freedom to enjoy my handiwork.

Day 62 of isolation

Spent the day on the porch with Sammy and occasionally Lucas. We didn’t really do anything of consequence. Just hung out while it rained and the mowers dodged showers. The three of us got mani-pedis. It was quiet. Nice. Important.

Day 63 of isolation

It rained all day. All-day. That creek I played in on day 61 is now a river. Much more rain to come too.

Finally finished season 3 of Ducktales. Dying to watch season 3, which has started, but I want to move on to other media first.

I’m finally sitting down to The Umbrella Academy.

Also picked up a couple of books that were thrown in my general direction by someone who wants my attention.

Day 64 of isolation

Hello. I just want to be able to eat the things I enjoyed. Without almost dying.

Day 65 of isolation

I got to the halfway point of The Umbrella Academy. Hopefully, I can find the motivation to finish that soon. It’s really good and I want to see what happens next. But the motivation to do anything is hard when you’re working on your third month of quarantine.

Made surprise chocolate chip cookies for the family right before bed. They’ve been begging me to make cookies almost daily for a couple of weeks now.

Day 66 of isolation

I’ve reached a quiet antisocial mood. Maybe it’s hormones. Maybe it’s quarantine.

Time blindness doesn’t help.

Day 67 of isolation

I finished season 1 of The Umbrella Academy today. The soundtrack goes hard. That’s really the only comment I’m choosing to make.

I started reading The Witcher series today. I’m ready to get lost in a book or 12 for awhile.

Day 68 of isolation

I may or may not be attempting to grow lavender from seed. We’ll see how that goes.

Day 69 of isolation

I am plotting. With plants. Less garden, more chaos. I am being a true Hufflepuff and friend of the bees. I’m very excited!

Speaking of bees… I have 3 carpenter bees working hard at creating a home for themselves within the wooden support of my porch roof and I am thrilled!

Day 70 of isolation

I got! My first! Frog villager! On New Leaf! Today! And then! I caught! Many! Frogs! In my ponds!

Also, I now have 5-7 carpenter bees calling my back porch home! I thought the new ones were fighting with the established ones. Nope. Turns out they were fucking. So that’s nice. Guess I’m going to be a grandma soon.

Day 71 of isolation

I’m feeling really fatigued these days. I think I could probably use a good hike to like shake myself out. I’d go creeking again but the 16yo needs water-friendly shoes first (soon) and I need the creeks to not be flooded.

Day 72 of isolation

Took the 16yo to get a sport physical. He’s playing football for his school now, I guess. Practice starts Monday.

My clover seeds showed up. There are millions of tiny seeds in the bag. Millions.

Day 73 of isolation

I’ve been up since 5. Tossed the clover seeds around while the sun was still down so I didn’t get caught. Played ACNL on the porch for a few hours. Did my basic daily gardening. Rested some more. Then took Sammy on a 3-mile hike at the park.

Oh hey. I also did 4 loads of dishes and like 5 loads of laundry.

Also had both my Slytherins gang up on me and talk me out of going to the local protest. Being chronically ill and the mother of 4 seems to make me not riot material. Even if I’m mainly just wanting to be a white meat shield between the police and protesters. I am, however, going to break out my new stamps and send a few dozen letters to the elected decision-makers that are supposed to do my bidding.

Anyway, it’s 3 hours until the brand new curfew, and part of me wants to spend the night on my patio, which is decidedly not in my house, writing letters by hand through the night. But who am I kidding? I’m a spoonie with a bedtime that takes place before the curfew even goes into effect, who has been up and highly active since 5 am. Going to the protests would give my adrenalin and therefore spoon count wouldn’t matter. But alas, without the adrenaline, I’ll be snoring here soon.

Day 74 of isolation

Listened to some new (to me) music that y’all have been listening to for a decade now and well, I understand the drive towards tearing down the establishment all the more. Finally listening to this album was well-timed to the current protests and riots. I kind of want to stand at the front lines blaring this music from a boombox. And while I have not named the album or artist, that’s a choice I made because really so much music from the last, oh, 20 years does apply and I realize that. I listen to nothing and y’all have been listening to bands that call for the destruction of the current system for your entire lives.

Fueled by this music, and knowing I can’t protest, I went ahead and sat at my desk and did what I needed to do to send out almost two dozen letters to almost two dozen people that are meant to represent me, and you. I started with Trump and ended with the seven members of my city council.

The rest of the day has been quiet. Lots of sun. General gardening upkeep. Finally got my hands on a new hose for watering and playing with the kids. I’ve been using a big ass watering can hauling it from the front yard, where the working spigot is, to the back yard, where the plants are. Also, my wife fixed the spigot at the back of the house. Which is good because the hose I bought was cheap and nice, but not long.

Day 75, 76, and 77 of isolation

I’m not sure what to tell you all other than it’s all been a blur, I’ve been distracted, and Black Lives Fucking Matter.

I did add to my pile of letters and snail-mailed my reps a request to save the post office.

Otherwise I just feel so lost and helpless.

Day 78 of isolation

Validated by my new provider at the hematologist.

Grew my first blueberry.

Bought the kids a kiddie pool and sprinkler.

Day 79 of isolation

I have discovered Kentucky Derby hats.

I will be buying Kentucky Derby hats.

For sitting on the back patio.

Day 80 of isolation

Went creeking in a different than my usual creek that the 16yo is always hyping up. Took the 8yo. Should not. Should have just gone to the usual creek. We had a bad experience. My left thigh is fucked up.

Day 81 of isolation

What is a day? What is time? Is a day really exactly 86400 seconds long? How did someone determine that? Why did someone determine that? To make me suffer? Who determined exactly how long a second is? Hasn’t mankind seen enough needless suffering?

The corned beef and cabbage we had for dinner was good though.

Day 82 of isolation

Admitted the kiddie pool and hose and sprinklers are going to be a major part of my kids’ summer so I went to my mom’s to pick up swimsuits and bought new ones for Sammy and Lucas who are like weeds. We also bought a bunch of beach towels to have on hand so they can stop walking through my living room soaking wet.

The Shepard’s hook that comes with bird feeders finally got here. Lucas has a really nice setup outside his window. Regular seed, black oil sunflower seeds, peanuts, and suet cakes are available for the birds and squirrels. My sister found some really nice binoculars at a thrift store and my dad cleaned them up. Lucas is now ready to fully submerge into a special interest. I even bought him a bird’s of Ohio identification guide and a field journal to track what he sees.

Day 83 of isolation

While running around outside barefoot, Sammy injured her foot. Not in a need a doctor sort of way, but there was first aid needed. And I realized noisy how ill-prepared I was for the situation as far as supplies go. Sure I have plenty of bandaids. But I keep very little gauze in the house and had no medical tape. Made me really pause and reevaluate how I’m spending my money this month.

A proper first aid kit is of course a must for every household. But the thought of piecing one together is so overwhelming. But considering my 17yo actively plans to break his nose and get his first stitches this summer (two separate occasions even) I apparently can’t wait.

Day 84 of isolation

Started buying supplies for two first aid kits. One for my house and one for my car. I also plan to buy a mini one for my bag. I’ve got a solid start but still a long way to go.

Day 85 of isolation

Gotta keep this up! Apparently it’s inspiring! <3

It’s helpful to me too.

Anyway.

Sammy, who is an extreme extrovert not made for isolation, has been reconnected with her two closest friends from school: Abby and Abigail.

I spoke to her teacher and the school counselor and was honest that she was suffering and falling into a deep depression and that I didn’t have the social skills to already know how to contact the parents of these two girls. I asked her teacher to please email both moms and give them my email address and phone number. We would leave it in their hands so I wasn’t intruding, but that I’d love to hear from them (text message or email preferred) so we could get the kids talking and in another month if things have settled and we avoid a second wave, we could set up playdates.

She’s been chatting on discord with Abby for a few days now. And today when Abigail reached out, I broke down and agreed to let Sammy spend the night over there tonight. They’ve been isolating like we have, is my understanding, so it seems pretty low risk. Plus Thomas has been going to football practice and friends’ houses since just after memorial day, so if he can she can.

Sammy is already a million times better from her depression.

Oh and it’s her first sleepover that isn’t Grandma’s house.

Day 86 of isolation

Spent the day running errands with my 17yo. We hit some 6 different stores across Columbus putting together the two first aid kits. They are now 95% complete and I’m super happy with them.

I also really enjoyed the time with my kid too. That was just the absolute best!

I’ve also pretty much decided I want to go to the local community college to get my EMT certificate. It’s a single 7 credit hour class plus an official test that certifies me. I don’t want to be an active EMT. But I want to know the first aid and I’d like the ability to be a street medic as needed. I could do things like help run the first aid tent at pride every year. Also, it’ll look good on my resumé and on grad school applications. It also gives me a decent topic for that application essay: how being I’ll be prepared for an injury my daughter sustained during the midst of feeling helpless during the 2020 race riots led to my decision to and passion for becoming EMT certified.

Anyway. The class is like 1.1k and I can probably do that with my next tax return. So summer 2021 goals!

Day 87 of Isolation

I took the littles to the zoo.  They just opened back up, with precautions in place, and this weekend was members only, though you have to reserve a spot since they are only allowing so many people in at a time.  Luckily I reserved early because they sold out for this weekend almost instantly.

We were only there for about 2.5 hours.  We didn’t come close to seeing everything.  But we got what was most important to us.  I wanted to see the bears.  Sammy wanted to see the lions and tigers.  Lucas wanted to see the penguins.  We all wanted to see the Heart of Africa.  We even got to feed John Peter the giraffe!

Yesterday I got 10k steps in.  I don’t normally care, but I’m been tracking the days I do things like the zoo and hiking.  Mostly because those are the days I royally fuck up my right foot.  I’m learning I have a collapsed arch.  And really anything over about 5k steps in a condensed time fucks me right up.  So imagine 10k.

I’m going to have to see a doctor and get custom inserts.  Which makes me feel so old.  But hiking is my primary form of exercise, so I need to be able to actually walk a few miles and still able to walk the usual 4k steps the next day, without pain.

Day 88 of isolation

I had a rough day.  I really needed a day to unwind and rest and just be mellow and keep to myself, but apparently, that just wasn’t an option.  I think the highlight of my day was Sammy biting her way out of a headlock Lucas put her in and drawing blood in the process.  That really just nicely sums up the chaos of the day.

Day 89 of isolation

Today was also a mess.  I was just fully incompetent as a parent until about 1 pm due to a rough night of bad sleep.  Finally got myself into gear and was functional at 1 though.  It’s not been a super day, but things were accomplished.

One of my chosen sisters sent me some cash and directed me to go buy bulk birdseed at the tractor supply store.  The village supporting my 12yo’s needs to feed/watch the birds is really heartwarming.  I priced all sorts of bulk seeds and such there.  I’ll be able to get the regular variety seed, the black oil sunflower seeds, and the mealworms there for great bulk prices.  I found a good price on suet cakes from lows.  So I think I’ll be able to keep this going indefinitely.  I might need some cash tossed in my direction here and there.  But like, it was looking a lot worse just a few hours ago.

Day 90 of isolation

I basically slept until 1:30 and then went back to bed at 8.  It was a catch up on sleep and fix the sleep schedule day.  Which sometimes, that’s just how it goes.

Be the first to comment

Quarantine Chronicles Part 4

Posted June 8, 2020 By kmarrs

This will not quite catch us up to date on my quarantine adventures. I’m writing this a couple of weeks in advance so unless I can see the future, I can only share what’s come to pass by this point in time.

Day 37 of isolation

A day almost like any other. Some animal crossing. Some Avatar.

Today was different because I played in the dirt. Repotted my succulents and aloe. Pulled dead leaves off my greenery. I’m eagerly awaiting flowers on my rose and bush sized impatiens. Both have been pretty heavily trimmed down so it could be awhile. But they both usually bloom for me all through the spring and summer. It was nice to get my hands dirty.

Day 38 of isolation

Time slipped away from me and I had a false memory of already writing this, so I’m a bit late. This is Friday’s record.

Today was the first of many Fancy Fridays. I encouraged those of us living in isolation and depression and fear to break out the special occasion niceties like fancy dresses, grandma’s china, and that bath bomb you’ve been saving and make Friday the special occasion that never comes. All as a means of increasing serotonin production.

I had a handful of participants this week. I’m hoping for even more next week!

Today was Iris’s 21st birthday. We don’t really drink much in my household on account of alcohol being triggering for me. But we did have something put away to celebrate.

Today was also me and my wife’s 17th anniversary, though the first celebrated as a lesbian couple.

There was much to celebrate all around!

Day 39 of isolation

I think I’m writing these early the next day now. Which does allow me to reflect on the entirety of the day in question.

I made blueberry bread today out of what was supposed to be muffin mix. It needed a few more minutes in the oven than what I gave it, but the stick came out clean in the couple of pokes I gave it so I couldn’t have easily known. I did bake it longer than the muffins were supposed to bake. I knew that much. Oh well it was still tasty.

I’m reading a book on BPD as an academic pursuit. I’ve read a lot on BPD in the past, but never a book by psychologists written for other psychologists. I’m on a quest for self-discovery. (I guess I should remind/inform those who don’t know, that I have BPD.) I’m also trying to make up for a lack of ability of going to DBT, which would be helpful right now for reasons beyond the pandemic. The books I’m reading are Marsha Linehan’s books on how to run a DBT program. I’m hoping that by combining my psych degree, the fact that I’ve sat through many DBT programs, and these books I can sort of jog my memory and start applying the skills and such on my own. Either way, this current book I’m on is very insightful in ways I don’t wish to discuss on tumblr. I have a mental health blog elsewhere for that.

The weather was really nice so I dragged an old comforter outside and read under the tree out back while the kids played. It was nice!

Day 40 of Isolation

Fuck.  They say it takes like a month to build a habit.  But we’re over a month in and this is falling apart.

But honestly, it’s not that I’m forgetting.  There are just fewer and fewer unique things to blog about because I’ve already done all the new things.  Day 40 was utterly ununique.

Day 41 of isolation

Why for the love of the gods is my family expecting me to keep track of such stupid things such as how many kickstarts I’ve had today?  I am but a loveable but dumb orange ginger cat.  I can’t be expected to know how to count.  Especially not when the days and kickstarts are running together.

Day 42 of isolation

Found no answers

I was up until almost 6 am last night. Slept until almost 1 pm and not well. Today threatened to be a wash on the productivity front. But I somehow turned into a super adult.

My first bit of money from unemployment hit and it had back pay. So we’re set financially for the next month with more on the way to add to it. We were also able to get some things for the house and for entertainment as the days dragged on. We bought a copy of exploding kittens which will be here Thursday. I’m looking forward to playing that with Sammy.

I also did some super responsible financial-based adulting and earned at least 100 adult points. I’ll spare the details but I made managing my budget 10 times easier in a way that will help my credit score. So that’s good.

I also tried to watch my Netflix DVD of the week but the disk was poorly formatted and I had just about reached the climax when suddenly I couldn’t get it to play the end. A replacement is incoming. I’m feeling emotions about this. Patience isn’t one of them.

Today was overall a success though, I think.

Day 43 of isolation

The game Exploding Kittens will start wars and can heighten the quarantine experience…  I’m not stuck in here with them… they’re stuck in here with me! Adding Unstable Unicorns to the mix very soon. A house simply isn’t a home if it’s not an active war zone.

Day 44 of isolation

I was awake for about 3 hours total.

Day 45 of isolation

Today I became a proper sword lesbian.

Day 46 of isolation

The game Unstable Unicorns delivered. I learned the hard way not to play card games with the 12yo after his meds have worn off. This is not the type of war I signed up for!

Day 47 of isolation

We gave the 8yo a used 3DS and her own copy of Animal Crossing New Leaf earlier this week as a super early birthday present. She turns 9 at the end of the summer, but we need her to be able to entertain herself now. She’s loving Animal Crossing, but one of her favorite things is coming over to visit me on my island.

I of course spent a few hours earlier this week buying her cute clothes and some furniture for her house. I’m rich enough in the game that I can spoil her.

I’ve also started playing scrabble go with my friends. I’m about evenly matched with the bulk of my friends so that’s nice. If anyone wants to play me drop into my messages and I’ll see if I can figure out how to find people.

Day 48 of isolation

After spending a solid year talking about buying a hibiscus bush but always talking myself out of it for reasons that just don’t hold, I finally made the purchase. They aren’t even really expensive. While making said purchase, the wife expressed their lifelong desire for a lilac bush, which also isn’t expensive, so I said fuck it and added it to the order.

I’m also being bought those hanging planters and tomato plants grow for Mather’s Day. Which this year will be celebrated in May so that the tomatoes will have plenty of time to grow and fruit.

The need to garden while in quarantine is real and valid.

Day 49 of isolation

Today I did the lord’s work and picked the best version of Hallelujah out of all the versions I could easily find.  Of course, that meant sifting through 23 songs and narrowing it out down.  But, while 23 contestants stood before me, only one won.

In less controversial news, we finished the 8th disc of Avatar: The Last Airbender.  We have what looks like 2 episodes left, but I’m betting at least one of them is a two-parter.  Hopefully, we’ll finish it tomorrow. 

Day 50 of isolation

Today’s 2 episodes were actually 5 episodes, so that was a thing. But we did actually finish Avatar: the Last Airbender. It was really good. In all my time on tumblr and all the ATLA memes, I only had 1.5 portions of the last 4 episodes spoiled and didn’t at all really know how it ended. So it was all unexpected, beyond simply knowing it’s a happy ending. It was really really good!

Day 51 of isolation

The younger kids saw Grandma for the first time in a couple of months. She had some masks for us that she bought from a coworker. It was I brief visit with limited contact, but her house is a safe zone due to my sister, who is 5 years post liver transplant, living there.

Day 52 of isolation

Finally made myself sit down and finish B99 today. Or at least what we have of it so far.

I also almost finished catching up on Ducktales. I have 2 episodes left. The plan is to watch the rest of that tomorrow.

But honestly, having spent the day watching things, it might be a while before I can do that again.

Day 53 of isolation

I gave my feet a spa day. They make these foot mask things that you wear for like an hour and then toy rub all the gunk in. Your feet think about it for a couple of days and then start peeling like crazy. It’s gross, but the end result is healthy and pretty feet. I’m also bored. So why not.

Robin and I had a fight today. Which is hardly news. But this one might have lasting consequences. I don’t really want to talk about it at all except to those I seek out myself. But I suppose if I’m keeping a quarantine diary, I should mark it down.

Day 54 of isolation

Each day is a week long and yet I accomplish nothing.

I’ve also done something horrible to my sleep schedule. I’m repeatedly seeing dawn most mornings. Either because I was up past it, or up before it. It’s like a cycle between sleeping not at all or too damn much and the sunrise is almost always involved. I need to fix this. Mostly because I’m suffering. Otherwise time is fake.

Day 55 of isolation

Today, with guidance from a friend, I finally fixed my bathtub drain. We’ve been fighting it off and on for the entire 6 years we’ve lived here. Maintenance has snaked that drain so many times, just to partially fix it, and then it stops right back up after a couple of months. But today? Today I may well have fixed it for good!

Also, I’m learning about myself that I have a love of writing and mailing letters. Pretty stationery. Fancy stamps. Wax seals. My heart on paper! I just love it!

Day 56 of isolation

It was a few days late, but I got tomato plants for Mather’s Day (spelled like that intentionally since I’m nonbinary and celebrate birth mothers and fathers day as does my wife). Since I’m allergic to any tomatoes that have been preserved we decided me growing my own was the way to go for sauce and salsa. I’m super excited! I love growing plants! These are my first food-based plants and the first of anything I’ve attempted outside.

I also bought a surprise rose bush, which is honestly not really a surprise to anyone. My wife’s response is that they are surprised I only bought one.

Though to be fair, I have a hibiscus bush and lilac bush that’ll be here any day now.

Day 56 was a good day!

Oh! And I took all 4 kids to the park! We walked a trail away from people and played in the creek! It was a good muddy adventure for all!

Day 57 of isolation

The rose is now in the ground. She has good soil, confirmed worms, and blood meal. She should be happy.

The kids attempted to dig a hole to China but got distracted by worms. Each tomato plant got a worm, the rose was given more worms dir her immediate space. And there are now two worm condos made of Mason jars full of soil and leaf litter, with a worm each.

Scheming for some herbs began. Turns out basil in with the tomatoes will help keep bugs that eat the fruit away. And help attract bees.

I was informed with 4 hours to spare that I was in charge of dinner and panicked due to the fact I can’t cook. When I panic I hit default. Which is exactly why we now have enough chicken noodle soup to feed a village. Soup for days!

Day 58 of isolation

Plonts. Lots of plonts. So many plonts. 2 more plonts coming in the mail soon! The hibiscus and lilac shrubbery I ordered some 2 or 3 weeks ago get here on day 59.

I’m super excited about this situation I’ve found myself in.

Day 59 of isolation

The hibiscus and lilac bushes aren’t here yet.

But

To no one’s real surprise my wife caved, with minimal effort on my part, and let me buy the blueberry bush I’ve been eyeing.

Day 60 of isolation

My bushes may never get here.

Have some blueberry flowers for your troubles.
Be the first to comment

Quarantine Chronicles Part 3

Posted June 1, 2020 By kmarrs

This post alone will not catch us up to date, as that’s some 40 days. So I’m going to spread this out a bit.

Day 25 of isolation

Has it really already been 25 days? Did I skip a day? Y’all are going to stone me to death since I know the general consensus is that each day is about a year-long, but time is actually flying for me.

Anyway. Today I’m experimenting with music outside my usual realm of notice. Which… my realm of notice really is rather small. I’ve never really been into music. Something about the audio processing issues mixed with it just being very noisy… it’s hard for me to really understand what I’m hearing enough to actually like it and want to hear it again.

But, today, due to some people I care about having much interest in the band, I’m attempting to discover my opinions of My Chemical Romance. I am doing this by working my way through their albums, one at a time and in order, and listening to each song, also in order, while I read the lyrics. This way I can hear the actual music but also process what’s being said.

I’m also working through the process of allowing myself to feel traumatized by all this, even if no one I know is sick or dying or dead.

I think MCR probably mixes well with the emotional state I’m in. While they go harder and are noisier than I’m usually into, I deeply understand why so many millennials are drawn to their music.

Day 26 of isolation

Ran some errands this morning before most the world was properly awake. Was on the hunt for toilet paper (success) and cleaning supplies (made do).

The family is back at the DnD game.

I found some eggs in ACNL and made a killing off egg furniture with very little gameplay needed. Have a third room for my house in the works.

Otherwise ignored it being Easter. Though it does show the passing of time when days otherwise go by unchecked.

Day 27 of isolation

Baked some peanut butter cookies with Sammy. They were delicious and gone before properly cooled.

Started a 400-page book on Irish history. It caught my attention weeks ago at the library. You know. When public spaces were a thing.

Day 28 of isolation

I’m really tired today.

I wanna say I accomplished nothing because of this, but it would be a lie. I snuggled with the 8yo while we watched today’s 4 ATLA episodes. So I accomplished being a loving mother.

Day 29 of isolation

We got our stimulus check today.  Most of it is going towards bills and rent.  But we put some aside to spend on other things.  I’m using my fun money to help support small businesses.  Bought some trans pride shoes from a small business.  I bought some stamps from the USPS.  Granted, it’s not exactly a small business but it’s not going to survive 2020 if we don’t work together and help in any way we can.  I actually use stamps a lot so all I really did is buy them a little sooner than needed.  But I think I’m going to keep an eye on their offerings and just buy a couple of sheets of interesting stamps regularly whether I’m out or not.

We’re officially done with Book 1 of ATLA and have started book 2.  I guess we’re about 1/3 of the way done with the full series and making steady progress as we knock out 4 episodes a day.

Day 30 of isolation

I kept pretty busy today.

Finished the 4th disk of 9 of Avatar.

Finished season 2 of The Magnus Archives.

Small victories.

Day 31 of isolation

Of all the ways I could have gotten hurt today, you’d think my new knife would be the culprit.  But no.  First I slice my toe open on a piece of a shattered mug that my 8yo knocked off the counter.  After assuring her that there was no reason for me to be mad because I don’t care about the mug, I care that she wasn’t hurt, I set about cleaning it up.  But apparently, I missed a piece and my toe found it.  Then about 20 minutes later I burned my finger while taking the German pancakes out of the oven.  So to recap, I did not hurt myself with my new purble shiny stabby stabby.  But I was attacked by the kitchen to the best of its ability.

Oh.  I made a triple batch of German Pancakes.  Took 18 eggs, but holy shit I forgot how delicious they were.  The idea of using real maple syrup as a topping didn’t pan out.  I need to stick to jelly and powdered sugar.

Finally sat down and watched the 4th Pirates of the Caribean. I couldn’t stream it anywhere so I added the DVD to the top of my Netflix DVD queue.  The fifth and final one is up next in said queue.

I almost refused to leave my bed today.  My stomach was upset and I just wanted to sleep.  But I was well-rested which leaves me restless so ADHD basically dragged me out of bed.

Considering how much my finger hurts (I can’t feel my toe) I think I should have listened to the stay in bed instincts.

Day 32 of isolation

Robin and I had a bad fight last night and cried myself to sleep. Slept in super late today and did nothing beyond basic survival.

Day 33 of isolation

I read the short story “Cinnamon Blade” by Shira Glassman today. It was worth the time!

I am working on solving the mental health issue I have that ties my personal feelings of self-worth to how much I produce.

Those on the spectrum have a harder time producing the way capitalism wants us to, thus we have performance-based anxiety. This is why my biggest mental health obstacle right now is that there literally is nothing for me to produce during this pandemic and thus I don’t understand that I currently have value. So I’m tricking my brain into assigning value to the production of completed media consumption based to-do tasks. But this also means when I’m having a bad mental health day because of something like me and Robin fighting the night before, and I can’t even consume media… I’m back to assigning myself zero value.

At the same time, when any of my friends present with this same problem, I’m the first to argue the worth is inherent from birth just for being alive, and not something you have to produce in the ways capitalism wants you to produce. It’s in fact not tied to production at all! You! All of you! Have worth simply by being alive.

Which is, of course, the exact opposite of what capitalism says. Which is why I have trouble internalizing this message. Which means I understand why others have trouble internalizing this message. But I promise you. Everyone has worth simply by being alive.

Anyway. Day 33 was filled with self reflection.

Day 34 of isolation

I’m a bit late with this but I blame love and my 8yo. I didn’t mean to fall asleep at like 9:30. But she wanted snuggles and was so soft and warm…

A mental health book I’d been waiting for showed up. I’m going to put my psych degree to work and give myself DBT therapy as a means of seeing myself through what is being considered a BPD relapse.

I also had my appointment with my psychiatrist yesterday. It was my first appointment I haven’t canceled because of the virus. But it was over the phone. It went pretty well.

I’m having stress dreams again.

Day 35 of isolation

Stress dreams are getting bad. So I redid my sleep magic spell bag.

Finished the earth bending book in Avatar.

Duplex across the street and down a bit caught fire. It’s an empty shell. Two families displaced.

Today has been 3 days long

Day 36 of isolation

Watched the 5th and final Pirates of the Caribbean movie today.

I’ve completed 41 media consumption based to-do list items in 36 days. So clearly I’m winning. But am I winning life or the plague?

Or it’s the plague life now?

My favorite flower, the wood violet, for these troubling times.
Be the first to comment