Day To Day Crap

Certifications

Posted on by kmarrs

I’m currently working towards getting certified in basic first aid and CPR. I feel these will make me a better caregiver to the elderly, but also a better prepared mother.

I achieved my first aid certification last night. Most of the class was online lessons, but there was an in person demonstration of how to use an EpiPen which is an important skill that you don’t have time to stop and read the instructions for when in the heat of the moment.

Next week is CPR. That course is fully in person. I’m looking forward to it.

I still want to get my EMT certification. Again, I feel it’ll have me better prepared in an emergency, but also I want to volunteer my services at things like pride. Or even street medic protests. Though my best friend will beat me to death with a flip flop over that last one.

I enjoy learning. I really enjoy learning useful things. And has my brain heals from brain damage from prolonged lack of blood, I’m finding myself capable of learning again.

Speaking of healing, I say my cancer doctor the other day. I am confirmed in remission. I bought us cake about it.

Natural Fibers

Posted on by kmarrs

I’ve kind of wondered why it is some shirts are itchier to sweat in than others. Then I learned in the last 9 months you can be allergic to certain fibers. I started paying attention, and sure enough, I seem to have a mild allergy to polyester.

I finally sat down the other day and pulled out all polyester from my closet and all of it was things I stopped wearing anyway over the years because they made me itch. I had been on the fence about it but they don’t Spark Joy so it all went to Goodwill. I’m now slowly working on bringing more natural fibers into my closet. I’m mostly looking at linen and cotton. Though there will be a bit of spandex in some of the cotton blends as the low amount of spandex doesn’t seem to make me super itchy.

I’ve been thinking about buying a white linen dress as a summer wardrobe staple for a while now. I finally sat down tonight and did some searching online. I looked at hundreds of dresses, most of which just didn’t appeal, but I found this stunner in my size for like 20$ and I couldn’t resist.

I like that it’s white linen but there is still so much color to it! I guess most people when they think white linen aren’t picturing something like this, but I really love it!

You can find it in a multitude of sizes here. Mind the size chart.

I’m having fun finding new pieces for my closet, but it is super frustrating how most clothing is made of synthetics or super expensive. A lot of it is also super boring when it really doesn’t have to be. I think that’s why I like the above dress so much. It’s affordable linen yet has personality.

New Car

Posted on by kmarrs

In lovely news, I have a new car. Car insurance paid for about a third of it. My parents paid for the rest. She is a 2014 Ford C-Max Hybrid SEL. My favorite part is that she is Bluetooth compatible so I can play my phone music through the car speakers. I’ve been wanting to be able to do that for a long time. She has fancy things like a push-button ignition and seat warmers and that is all lovely. But really, she gets me where I need to go, plays my music, and isn’t at risk of falling apart on me. So I’m over the moon.

Isn’t she pretty? I haven’t named her yet. I’ve had her for a few weeks at this point, but I immediately got Covid so I have barely driven her. Since she’s a C-Max I almost want to name her Max, but that’s my name and I don’t feel like sharing it.

Hmm. Actually. She’s an SEL. Maybe Selina?

Anyway, the Matrix that died in the accident was old and needed replaced. I wish I too hadn’t almost died in the process. I would have liked to have taken it out back and shot it when I was damn well ready. But it was nice to have insurance money to put towards this one. I got about 2.7k. So silver linings, I guess.

Alone but not Lonely

Posted on by kmarrs

Robin is settled into Seattle and has been for a few weeks, at this point. The kids miss her like crazy. They show it in various ways. Sammy is a little more outspoken with it. Thomas tries to hide his pain where he thinks we can’t see it. Lucas is a lot harder to read, but I know he does miss daddy. Even Iris misses her.

I’m a little more on the fence myself. I more miss having help than I do the company. When the kids started feeling better they were obnoxious for a couple of days and I was so sick I could barely move. I could have used a healthy adult. But the thing is, had Robin been here, Robin would have had Covid too, (I caught it the day after she left and passed it around the house from there) and not only would she have been unable to be helpful, but I would have been sharing my sick bed. I’m very selfishly grateful I didn’t have to share my bed while sick.

The first two times we separated missing her company was a big part of why I took her back. Granted, we worked on our shit and were healthier when we got back together. But I think things would have been different if I hadn’t been so lonely. This time I have a couple of dozen friends at my disposal, and yeah, none of them are local, but I’m ok with that. I’m not alone unless I put my phone down to read. And it’s a huge help.

I’ll be a lot more hesitant to take Robin back this time. And while that is something I fully intend to do in maybe about 5 years, that is fully conditional on where we stand as individuals. We are both in need of some therapy to be better people. And I won’t settle for anything less than what I deserve in a partner.

Anyway. I do in some ways miss Robin. But not as much as I feared I would. And I’m relieved by this, but I also feel guilt. I’m going to have to work on that guilt in therapy because me not missing Robin as much as I arbitrarily think I should is fine but the guilt it brings isn’t healthy.

Zoo Trip! Zoo Trip!

Posted on by kmarrs

I took Sammy to the zoo this past weekend as a belated birthday trip. We have a membership so it’s super easy to just pack up and go to the zoo a dozen times a year. Things slowed down when COVID hit, but we’re getting back into the swing of it.

This trip was a little different than our normal trip though. You see, our zoo as an adventure cove with all sorts of fair rides and such. Also scattered through the park are additional rides like pony rides and a train through North America. Our long time favorite is the 1914 carousel that I always find the money for, but usually, we can’t afford the other rides so I have to tell her no. This time, however, I asked my mom to sponsor a couple of ride bracelets that basically give us limitless access to all of them and she agreed. They are actually a pretty great bargain.

The first ride we went on when we got there was this water roller coaster. It had two drops that weren’t extremely high, but there was a splash involved with each. About a minute, or less, after getting seated and starting our way through it, Sammy decided that actually she is afraid of heights and didn’t really want to get wet, but it was way too late for that. Luckily I was able to hold her tight and she didn’t die of freight but she did have some regrets by the end.

The next ride we almost went on is that boat that swings back and forward. We made it to the front of the line before Sammy decided that maybe it also went to high and actually she’d like to go ahead and skip it. I didn’t give her any hassle. Limits and boundaries are healthy and to be respected.

She did, however, enjoy a nice pony ride. And we rode the train together. Then we made our way to the camel rides and we got to ride one together. She was a little nervous through that because camels are taller than she expected, but she eased up and decided it was fun after all by about halfway through. Then we made our way to the carousel and rode that a couple of times before it was time to leave because the zoo was closing.

We did, actually, see a handful of animals too. She loves the big cats so I made sure she saw the lions and the cheetahs. We didn’t manage to see the tigers, but that’s ok. There is always the next trip. We also saw the seals which is a new exhibit that I love with all my heart. My friend works for a seal rescue in Ireland so I’m learning to appreciate them more than ever.

We’re going back on Halloween. This time we’ll actually focus on seeing the animals. (Though there is always carousel money.) The animals will have pumpkin enrichment and it’s a great final fall trip before it gets really cold. Not that the cold has ever stopped us. But a lot of animals den over winter so the winter trips are less productive.

I really enjoy having unlimited access to the zoo. I’m glad I got the kids a membership from Santa this last Christmas. That will be the regular gift from him from now on. It’s something we can all enjoy and it’s right about the Santa price point.

Here are some photos of Sammy I took that day that I enjoy.

Grandma also sponsored the purchase of a plush you can see in a couple of these. He’s a very colorful ostrich.

Here is the water roller coaster. Sammy has decided she’ll try it again when she’s 25.

This is the swinging boat ride she almost went on. It looked fun.

There were a few other rides I would have loved for her to try. But she just wasn’t ready and I’m not mean enough to push her. She did the roller coaster so I’m super proud of her, even if she does have regrets.

Quarantine Chronicles Part 5

Posted on by kmarrs

This is going to be long because I’m super fucking behind. I’m sorry.

Day 61 of isolation

The shrubbery came! All my plants are in the ground! We are now thoroughly enjoying the space I created in my own backyard!

I took the 16yo and Iris creeking in my favorite creek. It was a delight to forge the creek with my eldest 2. In a couple of weeks, we’re going to go back with the littles. Just need to get them aquatic shoes first so they aren’t wearing heavy sneakers in the water.

I don’t know how long the quarantine will last. I bunkered down early and I’m going to stick with it until the government forces me back to work. But it’s nice to have the freedom to enjoy my handiwork.

Day 62 of isolation

Spent the day on the porch with Sammy and occasionally Lucas. We didn’t really do anything of consequence. Just hung out while it rained and the mowers dodged showers. The three of us got mani-pedis. It was quiet. Nice. Important.

Day 63 of isolation

It rained all day. All-day. That creek I played in on day 61 is now a river. Much more rain to come too.

Finally finished season 3 of Ducktales. Dying to watch season 3, which has started, but I want to move on to other media first.

I’m finally sitting down to The Umbrella Academy.

Also picked up a couple of books that were thrown in my general direction by someone who wants my attention.

Day 64 of isolation

Hello. I just want to be able to eat the things I enjoyed. Without almost dying.

Day 65 of isolation

I got to the halfway point of The Umbrella Academy. Hopefully, I can find the motivation to finish that soon. It’s really good and I want to see what happens next. But the motivation to do anything is hard when you’re working on your third month of quarantine.

Made surprise chocolate chip cookies for the family right before bed. They’ve been begging me to make cookies almost daily for a couple of weeks now.

Day 66 of isolation

I’ve reached a quiet antisocial mood. Maybe it’s hormones. Maybe it’s quarantine.

Time blindness doesn’t help.

Day 67 of isolation

I finished season 1 of The Umbrella Academy today. The soundtrack goes hard. That’s really the only comment I’m choosing to make.

I started reading The Witcher series today. I’m ready to get lost in a book or 12 for awhile.

Day 68 of isolation

I may or may not be attempting to grow lavender from seed. We’ll see how that goes.

Day 69 of isolation

I am plotting. With plants. Less garden, more chaos. I am being a true Hufflepuff and friend of the bees. I’m very excited!

Speaking of bees… I have 3 carpenter bees working hard at creating a home for themselves within the wooden support of my porch roof and I am thrilled!

Day 70 of isolation

I got! My first! Frog villager! On New Leaf! Today! And then! I caught! Many! Frogs! In my ponds!

Also, I now have 5-7 carpenter bees calling my back porch home! I thought the new ones were fighting with the established ones. Nope. Turns out they were fucking. So that’s nice. Guess I’m going to be a grandma soon.

Day 71 of isolation

I’m feeling really fatigued these days. I think I could probably use a good hike to like shake myself out. I’d go creeking again but the 16yo needs water-friendly shoes first (soon) and I need the creeks to not be flooded.

Day 72 of isolation

Took the 16yo to get a sport physical. He’s playing football for his school now, I guess. Practice starts Monday.

My clover seeds showed up. There are millions of tiny seeds in the bag. Millions.

Day 73 of isolation

I’ve been up since 5. Tossed the clover seeds around while the sun was still down so I didn’t get caught. Played ACNL on the porch for a few hours. Did my basic daily gardening. Rested some more. Then took Sammy on a 3-mile hike at the park.

Oh hey. I also did 4 loads of dishes and like 5 loads of laundry.

Also had both my Slytherins gang up on me and talk me out of going to the local protest. Being chronically ill and the mother of 4 seems to make me not riot material. Even if I’m mainly just wanting to be a white meat shield between the police and protesters. I am, however, going to break out my new stamps and send a few dozen letters to the elected decision-makers that are supposed to do my bidding.

Anyway, it’s 3 hours until the brand new curfew, and part of me wants to spend the night on my patio, which is decidedly not in my house, writing letters by hand through the night. But who am I kidding? I’m a spoonie with a bedtime that takes place before the curfew even goes into effect, who has been up and highly active since 5 am. Going to the protests would give my adrenalin and therefore spoon count wouldn’t matter. But alas, without the adrenaline, I’ll be snoring here soon.

Day 74 of isolation

Listened to some new (to me) music that y’all have been listening to for a decade now and well, I understand the drive towards tearing down the establishment all the more. Finally listening to this album was well-timed to the current protests and riots. I kind of want to stand at the front lines blaring this music from a boombox. And while I have not named the album or artist, that’s a choice I made because really so much music from the last, oh, 20 years does apply and I realize that. I listen to nothing and y’all have been listening to bands that call for the destruction of the current system for your entire lives.

Fueled by this music, and knowing I can’t protest, I went ahead and sat at my desk and did what I needed to do to send out almost two dozen letters to almost two dozen people that are meant to represent me, and you. I started with Trump and ended with the seven members of my city council.

The rest of the day has been quiet. Lots of sun. General gardening upkeep. Finally got my hands on a new hose for watering and playing with the kids. I’ve been using a big ass watering can hauling it from the front yard, where the working spigot is, to the back yard, where the plants are. Also, my wife fixed the spigot at the back of the house. Which is good because the hose I bought was cheap and nice, but not long.

Day 75, 76, and 77 of isolation

I’m not sure what to tell you all other than it’s all been a blur, I’ve been distracted, and Black Lives Fucking Matter.

I did add to my pile of letters and snail-mailed my reps a request to save the post office.

Otherwise I just feel so lost and helpless.

Day 78 of isolation

Validated by my new provider at the hematologist.

Grew my first blueberry.

Bought the kids a kiddie pool and sprinkler.

Day 79 of isolation

I have discovered Kentucky Derby hats.

I will be buying Kentucky Derby hats.

For sitting on the back patio.

Day 80 of isolation

Went creeking in a different than my usual creek that the 16yo is always hyping up. Took the 8yo. Should not. Should have just gone to the usual creek. We had a bad experience. My left thigh is fucked up.

Day 81 of isolation

What is a day? What is time? Is a day really exactly 86400 seconds long? How did someone determine that? Why did someone determine that? To make me suffer? Who determined exactly how long a second is? Hasn’t mankind seen enough needless suffering?

The corned beef and cabbage we had for dinner was good though.

Day 82 of isolation

Admitted the kiddie pool and hose and sprinklers are going to be a major part of my kids’ summer so I went to my mom’s to pick up swimsuits and bought new ones for Sammy and Lucas who are like weeds. We also bought a bunch of beach towels to have on hand so they can stop walking through my living room soaking wet.

The Shepard’s hook that comes with bird feeders finally got here. Lucas has a really nice setup outside his window. Regular seed, black oil sunflower seeds, peanuts, and suet cakes are available for the birds and squirrels. My sister found some really nice binoculars at a thrift store and my dad cleaned them up. Lucas is now ready to fully submerge into a special interest. I even bought him a bird’s of Ohio identification guide and a field journal to track what he sees.

Day 83 of isolation

While running around outside barefoot, Sammy injured her foot. Not in a need a doctor sort of way, but there was first aid needed. And I realized noisy how ill-prepared I was for the situation as far as supplies go. Sure I have plenty of bandaids. But I keep very little gauze in the house and had no medical tape. Made me really pause and reevaluate how I’m spending my money this month.

A proper first aid kit is of course a must for every household. But the thought of piecing one together is so overwhelming. But considering my 17yo actively plans to break his nose and get his first stitches this summer (two separate occasions even) I apparently can’t wait.

Day 84 of isolation

Started buying supplies for two first aid kits. One for my house and one for my car. I also plan to buy a mini one for my bag. I’ve got a solid start but still a long way to go.

Day 85 of isolation

Gotta keep this up! Apparently it’s inspiring! <3

It’s helpful to me too.

Anyway.

Sammy, who is an extreme extrovert not made for isolation, has been reconnected with her two closest friends from school: Abby and Abigail.

I spoke to her teacher and the school counselor and was honest that she was suffering and falling into a deep depression and that I didn’t have the social skills to already know how to contact the parents of these two girls. I asked her teacher to please email both moms and give them my email address and phone number. We would leave it in their hands so I wasn’t intruding, but that I’d love to hear from them (text message or email preferred) so we could get the kids talking and in another month if things have settled and we avoid a second wave, we could set up playdates.

She’s been chatting on discord with Abby for a few days now. And today when Abigail reached out, I broke down and agreed to let Sammy spend the night over there tonight. They’ve been isolating like we have, is my understanding, so it seems pretty low risk. Plus Thomas has been going to football practice and friends’ houses since just after memorial day, so if he can she can.

Sammy is already a million times better from her depression.

Oh and it’s her first sleepover that isn’t Grandma’s house.

Day 86 of isolation

Spent the day running errands with my 17yo. We hit some 6 different stores across Columbus putting together the two first aid kits. They are now 95% complete and I’m super happy with them.

I also really enjoyed the time with my kid too. That was just the absolute best!

I’ve also pretty much decided I want to go to the local community college to get my EMT certificate. It’s a single 7 credit hour class plus an official test that certifies me. I don’t want to be an active EMT. But I want to know the first aid and I’d like the ability to be a street medic as needed. I could do things like help run the first aid tent at pride every year. Also, it’ll look good on my resumé and on grad school applications. It also gives me a decent topic for that application essay: how being I’ll be prepared for an injury my daughter sustained during the midst of feeling helpless during the 2020 race riots led to my decision to and passion for becoming EMT certified.

Anyway. The class is like 1.1k and I can probably do that with my next tax return. So summer 2021 goals!

Day 87 of Isolation

I took the littles to the zoo.  They just opened back up, with precautions in place, and this weekend was members only, though you have to reserve a spot since they are only allowing so many people in at a time.  Luckily I reserved early because they sold out for this weekend almost instantly.

We were only there for about 2.5 hours.  We didn’t come close to seeing everything.  But we got what was most important to us.  I wanted to see the bears.  Sammy wanted to see the lions and tigers.  Lucas wanted to see the penguins.  We all wanted to see the Heart of Africa.  We even got to feed John Peter the giraffe!

Yesterday I got 10k steps in.  I don’t normally care, but I’m been tracking the days I do things like the zoo and hiking.  Mostly because those are the days I royally fuck up my right foot.  I’m learning I have a collapsed arch.  And really anything over about 5k steps in a condensed time fucks me right up.  So imagine 10k.

I’m going to have to see a doctor and get custom inserts.  Which makes me feel so old.  But hiking is my primary form of exercise, so I need to be able to actually walk a few miles and still able to walk the usual 4k steps the next day, without pain.

Day 88 of isolation

I had a rough day.  I really needed a day to unwind and rest and just be mellow and keep to myself, but apparently, that just wasn’t an option.  I think the highlight of my day was Sammy biting her way out of a headlock Lucas put her in and drawing blood in the process.  That really just nicely sums up the chaos of the day.

Day 89 of isolation

Today was also a mess.  I was just fully incompetent as a parent until about 1 pm due to a rough night of bad sleep.  Finally got myself into gear and was functional at 1 though.  It’s not been a super day, but things were accomplished.

One of my chosen sisters sent me some cash and directed me to go buy bulk birdseed at the tractor supply store.  The village supporting my 12yo’s needs to feed/watch the birds is really heartwarming.  I priced all sorts of bulk seeds and such there.  I’ll be able to get the regular variety seed, the black oil sunflower seeds, and the mealworms there for great bulk prices.  I found a good price on suet cakes from lows.  So I think I’ll be able to keep this going indefinitely.  I might need some cash tossed in my direction here and there.  But like, it was looking a lot worse just a few hours ago.

Day 90 of isolation

I basically slept until 1:30 and then went back to bed at 8.  It was a catch up on sleep and fix the sleep schedule day.  Which sometimes, that’s just how it goes.