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What’s Going On

I’m only posting this because my twitter and facebook stream made reference to it. I’m going to attempt just the facts and try to avoid being passive aggressive as my husband has requested. I want to keep him as a reader, so I’m going to do as he requested.

Comments are closed. I don’t want to hear you I’m so sorry or any bashing of Pat. I also really don’t need to hear support for Pat. I just don’t want to deal with it. I’m writing this and moving on.

My husband has been miserable for some time now. Unless I’m manic I’m not the most affectionate of people. It’s really bad when I’m depressed. I have issues with body fluids, so I don’t make out. I don’t want someone else’s tongue in my mouth. Add in my lack of sex drive… and well my husband is missing the human contact he thrives on. He was getting some contact from me, but not enough.

So Friday I was presented with two options. Divorce or I allow him a girlfriend. He had no one specific in mind. He just wanted what he wasn’t getting enough of from me.

Saturday he talked to some friends and 95% of them blew up on him. The general outcry was that he shouldn’t be allowed a girlfriend if I wasn’t allowed a boyfriend. And I wasn’t going to be allowed a boyfriend. Keep in mind that in our group of friends, an open marriage is common. But the key to an open marriage is trust form and for both parties. Pat and I don’t have that.

So Pat resigned himself to suffering.

I’ll take this moment to inform I don’t believe in open marriages. To me cheating is cheating. Period. So the two choices I was presented with put me in a bad spot.

Then the idea of my best friend Stacy came up. The two of them are close. We joke they are boyfriend and girlfriend already. This would just make things more official. I had a few rules. No sex. No making out. No secrets. No lies. And I needed to feel included.

I was not happy over the idea. I was down right miserable over the idea. But I knew Stacy well enough to know she would not let Pat leave me for her. And that was comfort I would not have if he met some chick in a bar. In this situation I was going to take what comfort I could get. I gave my permission.

Then there was some more talking, fighting and tears and Pat has decided not to date my best friend after all.

He’s back to resigning himself to just suffering.

He has also requested I point out he was not looking for sex, just human companionship and affection.

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