There truly is a great info in this article. I give no argument to that. However I have one simply request: If you are here it is a fair guess to say you have Borderline Personality Disorder. Or maybe a loved on has it. If that is the case, please take some time and look around this site. This blog is filled with great information for those with BPD and those who love them. It is my honor to have you here and I hope you enjoy your stay, whether it be 5 minutes or you come back day after day.
Bio: Alexis Bonari is a freelance writer and blog junkie. She is currently a resident blogger at online colleges, researching areas of online colleges. In her spare time, she enjoys square-foot gardening, swimming, and avoiding her laptop.
Because BPD has several strong similarities to Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), it’s likely that many celebrities suffer from the condition. The lifestyle of the famous individual almost necessitates self-absorption and can easily escalate into extreme preoccupation with the self, or NPD. Volatile relationships and unstable mood are some of the characteristics shared by NPD and BPD. Some of the symptoms of BPD manifested in celebrity lifestyles are feelings of emptiness or boredom, frequent displays of inappropriate anger, impulsiveness, intolerance of being alone, self-injury, sexual confusion, eating disorders, substance abuse, and shame. Although some celebrity cases cannot be confirmed, the following is a list of both definite diagnoses and probable BPD sufferers based on the symptoms of the condition.
Doug Ferrari, or “Dougzilla,” is a famous comedian whose BPD diagnosis changed his life. Doug suffered from severe outbursts of anger, which eventually escalated to the point of destroying his home and beating his wife, which earned him jail time. He is now dedicated to personal maintenance, therapy, medications, and performing at charity events to call attention to BPD.
Angelina Jolie reportedly checked herself into the Neuropsychiatric Institute in the late 1990s due to self-reported suicidal and homicidal ideation. Once diagnosed with BPD, she began to improve and motherhood helped her to adapt to her condition.
Courtney Love was arrested in 2003 for breaking windows in her boyfriend’s apartment under the influence of controlled substances and was treated for an accidental overdose of oxycodone. After losing custody of her daughter, she entered rehab, then violated the terms of her parole and entered house arrest. This behavior is analogous to BPD outbursts.
Lindsay Lohan attended AA in 2006 and had a car accident in 2007, causing authorities to find cocaine in her vehicle. During the same year, she was arrested for a DUI and sent to rehab. She was cast in The Other Side in 2009, but was fired in 2010. This month, she’s been sentenced to jail for violating the terms of her probation.
Britney Spears has shown extreme impulsiveness in her marriages, the first of which was annulled after 55 hours because Spears hadn’t understood her actions. She’s also shaved her head, admitted herself to treatment facilities, and has felt “like a bad kid with ADD.”
Amy Winehouse’s life has been characterized by substance abuse, self-harm, depression, and eating disorders. She’s been documented wearing only jeans and a bra in public, arrested for possession of marijuana, has been to rehab, and has committed a “common assault” offense.
Susanna Kaysen, author of Girl, Interrupted, struggled with mental instability, being hospitalized at McLean, and re-adapting to the world at age 18. Her memoir was filmed as a movie in 1999 and stars Winona Ryder as Kaysen.
Princess Diana struggled to overcome an eating disorder and had difficulty maintaining relationships. Some experts attribute her BPD to the divorce of her parents and neglect during her childhood. Self-mutilation, binge eating, and promiscuity characterized the dissolution of her relationship with Charles.
Zelda Sayre Fitzgerald was a writer and the wife of F. Scott Fitzgerald. She was hospitalized several times and diagnosed with schizophrenia and manic depression before she could be correctly categorized as a BPD sufferer.
Marilyn Monroe demonstrated promiscuity, suicidal ideation, and drug abuse, which are characteristics of BPD. She also experienced low self-esteem and extreme attachment in relationships out of fear of abandonment.
Jim Morrison suffered from severe identity disturbance, which is a characteristic of BPD. He felt a deficit in his “realness” and “aliveness” that was caused by internalizing important figures from childhood as the scaffolding for his sense of self.
Adolf Hitler demonstrated inappropriate ways of dealing with emotions and had the anti-social and narcissistic aspects of BPD.
40 thoughts on “Borderline Personality Disorder: The Famous Cases”
You have no solid evidence that Brittany Spears and Lindsay Lohan have BPD. Lohan is obviously suffering from drug and alcohol dependency and her actions because if it cannot be classified as a personality disorder. Only when she has reached sobriety and continues to display the same behavior can a solid BPD diagnosis be made.
Regarding Spears….. Her actions could indicate bipolar disorder which is a mood disorder and distinctly different than a personality disorder. A lot of diagnosis overlap and by simply watching TV to observe these people's outrageous actions is definitely not a valid way to claim any form of disorder including personality disorders.
Your evidence and research is flimsy and you do yourself no justice with glossed over anecdotes.
In fact, bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder are often confused (by clinicians); and borderline personality disorder generally takes an average of 10 years to diagnose by “professionals.” Unlike bipolar disorder, however, BPD is curable. It takes a lot of hard work and, sometimes, medication to treat accompanying illnesses (e.g., depression, anxiety) – while bipolar disorder must be treated with medication.
You can find much more information about the confusion between BPD and bipolar disorder online or elsewhere.
For what it’s worth, I concur with the blogger re: Ms. Spears. (I’m a recovering BPD sufferer.)
It actually seems most apparent that Lohan suffers from BPD. Although presumed only from our information, the pattern of symptoms fit. Overlooking obvious symptoms that are shared by other disorders (obsession with self beauty, risky behavior, inappropriate behavior), we have seen her time and time again use manipulation to try and coerce judges to be lenient on her, as well as not take responsibility for her behavior by simply blaming her addictions (if she even does infact have addictions to these drugs rather than simply using them out of boredom.
actually the pattern of behavior you describe is more in line with histrionic and narcissisticpersonality disorders, which would seem to be what ms lohan suffers from.
First, I didn't write this. It is a clear guest post. So it isn't my research. Second, BP and LL weren't labeled as confirmed, just suspect. We can't know for sure, we can only guess. But a lot of use feel that they very well might. And there is nothing wrong with sharing that suspicion as long as we aren't labeling it as fact. The do both meet many of the criteria. So there is a reasonable suspicion.
I agree, I can clearly see that it is just suspicion for them and everyone is entitled to their suspicions.
After watching “The Judds” reunion show where Wynonna has erected very healthy boundaries against her mother whom I feel certain is BPD based on her stories she told in the show, left the South make it in hollywood as a single mom with two young daughters in tow, flopped with biker guys in hotels with hr daughters there, lived a high risk lifestyle and subjected her two young daughters to it just so her self absorbed self could make it to the limelight and escape reality. She is such a selfish demon. And it is romored that Ashley Judd seems to have indicators of BPD, but more of the self-destructive inward facing borderline that can try ot destroy themselves and not so focused on other people sharing their misery. The mother wanted everyone to share in her crisis and be used, where as Ashley seems more disassociative and a lost wandered when she is not on screen. The mother is incurably narcissistic. Ashley has mad other lists, but the mother should be at the top of the list. This is evidence to me of how it is handed down from mother to daughter, but selectively. Wynonna is grounded and has self-control. Ashley has been hospitalized due to BPD-like scenarios. The mother has had her share of psych eval and diagnoses as I have read. I believe she has been called bi-polar, as has Ashley, but in my 20 year experience with a diagnosed borderline wife and her forensically diagnosed BPD mother, they look so familiar to me. And the main difference between BPD and bipolarism is NARCISSISM. A bipolar person does not have to have the level of narcissism that a BPD has. Bipolarism is more like the mood element of BPD, but the narcissism is separate altogether. Some narcissists are “inverted narcissists” which is were they are self-absorbed, but have no self esteem and point all destruction inwardly and self-harm ritually. They can seem so meek. But having been married to a meek BPD, there was a date right after having children and her name on a deed that in her mind shifted th power to her and she became a tyrant. I learned form her only after divorce that she had cheated on me continuously for the full 20 years of our relationship in top secret ways, sometimes by not knowing the person she was cheating with. She has never drank nor done drugs, she is just this way. She has destroyed the lives of her children and all extended family. Everyone that cared about our family unit. She showed ZERO signs of BPD that you could call BPD until we had been together for 18 years and it took the last two years for her to admit that she had never been in the marriage. So, as for those on stage and screen, I don’t know why we think we can run a list, they can be right next to you for decades and you might never know. No one can believe that my sweet, pitiful ex was anything but darling and just had a tough way to go because her parents divorced and her mom was not so “sweet”/ My ex now says her sweetness was and act and an impersonation of what she thought people wanted to see in every person they encounter. She had no depth, just a cordial surface. As I lie amid all ruin with custody of our children, I have empathy for her and all BPD individuals. I say this even though I know NOW that she has repeatedly came home after having sex with someone else only to have sex with me and for me to kiss her stomach where some other man has tossed his ejaculate… and she could do that without conscience. The anger used to kill me, that is why I had to stop being angry. But with behavior like that – people have to understand why there is such a bad reputation around BPD. She is completely remorseless about it too. She is just “blank” and maybe disassociative about the damage she caused. Not in denial anymore. She just has nothing to say about all that… she can say “I’m sorry for that”, but that is very few words really based on the intensity and duration of the pain she has caused others, and admittedly for no reason. She firmly admits that I treated her well and wants me back and noone could treat as good and kind as I did and reliably so. and she wants the kids in her life, but she is in no way a maternal woman. She gave them to me. It was not a fight. She cant take care of herself much less kids. And when out young kids are with her, they parent her. So messed-up. But dont fall for the pity they seek. that is a proven tool of how psychopaths open doors of trust and taking you off your guard. it is how some birds fake you out to draw you away from their nest…from the truth in the case of some BPDs. until you can know all of these things about a BPD celebrity, or have lived with one and seen the constant similarities, it is hard to label them. though I agree that the narcissism of calebrities mixed with drugs, arrest and psychiatric institionalization are rough indicators, but lets no forget that these celbrities have a lot of tools of self destruction in their midsts at all times. An unknown wealthy person can fall into all of these rough criteria as life seems to have no meaning even when you have it all.
You have given me a lot to think about and I’m very sorry so much of it has come from your own personal hell.
I am very sorry for the extreme personal struggles you have been through with your ex-wife, but it’s hard for me to read things like this without making some comment. People with BPD may do very hurtful things that makes it seem like they have no conscience, but that’s not true. BPD is not psychopathy or sociopathy, though you may think it is. People with BPD most of the time do what they do because it seems like the only way to get what they want and need, and, in the words of Marsha Linehan, have essentially no interpersonal skills at all. If you’re willing, I think this video is a really helpful thing to watch just to get some more information:
Two schools of thought seems to be that; 1) no two borderlines are alike and thus cannot be lumped together; and 2) some can say just how borderlines are not..lock stock and barrel.
i have seen the video before and have read incessantly on the topic and had a front row seat to my ex-wife and her BPD mother. And if they might suffer from a distorted reality, I can see things pretty clear and the effects on third parties. Respectfully, those victimized by someone with a destructive personality need an advocate as well.
No matter how misguided, I, her husband, had sex with my wife minutes after her having sex with an IV drug user, I kissed her stomach where he ejaculated which is disgusting and embarassing and dangerous..and inhumane on her part. There were other times and men as well. And then she could, by day, be the picturesque soccer mom…one that would never allow you to believe she had such capabilities. And unlike the video, she was not only impulsive, she planned affairs with a sober head. She could pre-plan. I am not saying that she is a sociopath, but rather sociopathic at times..times without conscience. A transient sociopath/psychopath (used interchangeably by professionals these days). The brain scans of male psychopaths and borderlines are quite similar. The male psychopath, having less emotional disturbance and a different reward system looks like one thing to us, meanwhile, an emotionally dysregulated female psychopathic mind gets a lot of social latitude because omen are emotional and fickle and desire love and validation of beauty – to be desired..which is just a different reward system. Male psychopaths test as Anti-social, female borderlines test as Avoidant as far as secondary comorbidity. So yes they are different, but if you account for gender differentials such as true desires and arrested development emotional age of the male and females with this respective disorders, you might find more in common than that which separates them. For example, men get speeding tickets and women tend to get warnings. Men are arrested for domestic abuse when studies show that when the abuse is tracked, the abuse follows the many females (ones that drive a mate to the edge or even fake their own abuse) to and through her subsequent relationships suggesting that it may be these type of women who own the violence and abuse in relationships. False charges made by borderlines are a common topic (i.e. sexual abuse of children, domestic violence), especially during a break-up (abandonment). So, I hope there is room for the wrongfully accused by borderlines, and that children are awarded to the fathers just based on the testimony of the video and your statements. I have been slandered and smeared by my ex and when she wants the kids and i back, she willing admits that she would lie to anyone and everyone about me to get pity that opened doors for other men to take her in. It’s nonsense and destructive and long-lived destruction. And still I am empathetic because I know the mother of my children did not ask to be this way. So now we ALL much forgive and empathize with persons with ALL mental disorders – psychopaths even, the shooter at Newtown, CT….where does out empathy begin and end??? I am truly empathetic towards suffers of the disorder…but I ask you, where does our get out of jail free card mentality end??
Actually, the brain scans of psychopaths and people with BPD are NOT similar at all. The psychopaths react emotionally to fear faces, the borderlines react to angry/neutral faces. If you want verification of this read James Blair’s The Psychopath: Emotion and the Brain. They are decidedly different.
But the white matter neuro-pathways that connect the frontal lobe (limbic system that houses: emotion, reasoning and general humanity) is not wired back to the long term memory storage of the rear brain. This is true of both. It is why mistakes are repeated and empathy and love and hate all misfire and shift moment to moment. In some moments, they CAN literally be a transient psychopath, devoid of empathy and no fear of consequences, risk-takers, hyper sexual. BPD is being found to be a white matter brain disorder. Abuse can alter white matter development. As we use different parts of the brain to cope or survive, the white matter pathways grow strongest to those regions and less to regions such as love, empathy, reasoning centers if they live/grow-up in an environment that has no use or reward for these things. It is these brain scan results that I speak of and have been published as of 2010.The frontal lobe does not light up properly in BPD or psychopaths. Only the dysregulated amygdala which governs anger and aggression seems dominant in this lobe for BPD and psychopathy. When it is wired-up and makes connection – here comes a rage outburst and violence. It is why moods change so rapidly. Also, the amygdala is thought to be enhanced in it’s negative reaction in BOD and psychopathy. So, if the wires touch…it is explosive. I would ask you not to personalize these generalities that can be read about in many articles on BPD (and psychopathy) and the amygdala. It may be the human body adapting to it’s given environment to have the best chance to survive. If you are raised by non-nurturing or abusive parents, then the amydala allows you to be a fierce fighter at a second’s notice…but it tends to destroy things when you are finally in a nurturing relationship. In BPD, the brain may have learned how to adapt to chaotic environments. Eat or be eaten – and err on the side of eating others first. This is why neutral facial expressions are usually perceived by Borderlines and being negative or threatening expressions. It is the amygdala that determines friend or foe. And with little reliable connectivity back to the brain’s long-term memory centers, they can forget who is friend or foe over and over and have to redetermine it each time they encounter a person…and they lean towards foe, so say studies (meaning neutral faces are considered as giving snide looks or talking about you in secret).
Bon Dobbs, I have the utmost respect for you. Perhaps, awareness of psychopathic behavior has increased since you left this comment.
A small clarification. While it’s true that Borderlines react to neutral expressions, psychopaths have a NEUTRAL reaction to angry faces.
You cannot make these sweeping statements about Borderlines based on what ur wife did to you. Im so sick of this shit! You sir are adding to the stigma! MAybe your wife is just a bitch! This is not because of the BPD! BPDs are NOT psychos, most DO HAVE a conscience. They are NOT all narcissists! And how DARE you compare someone with BPD to the Newtown shooter! What the f is wrong with you?! I know you are pissed about what your wife did to you, but it doesnt give you the right to smear all BPDs and assume you know everything about them with your stupid, misinformed, prejudiced armchair psychology! People like you are the reason why people hear the word BPD and assume the person is a monster. So SICK of this!!!!!!
First, she is not a bitch so that anyone could tell. She has bouts of instability and is a lying, male validation seeking, disease spreading – sickness! She destroys the lives of many and they all find out about her secrets when she is ready to sabotage and torch the home that I built for her. I dont profess to know all about all BPDs.. but i have come to know her potential for destruction. Also, I did not compare her to the Newtown shooter, please reread. I said that we should be empathetic to the mentally ill – but where does this stop in so far as those that do harm (BPD, Newtown shooter, Jeffrey Dahmer??). I was incrementing a scale, not a direct comparison. Did you know that one of four of Jeffery Dahmer’s psych evals listed him as BPD? His motive for making the zombies by pouring acid in the skulls of the young men were so they could not abandon him. Jodi Arias? We could call her a bitch I guess…or a BPD psychopath. Lastly, all Cluster b personality disorders have high narcissism. BPD individuals can have what is called “inverted narcissism”. It is not a narcissism of bravado, but of self-centered thought and action that they feel they need to enact to survive daily life. It is usually this self-centered thoughts and actions that make it hard on those around them. And empathy and conscience is transient in BPD individuals. Just like mood changes and splitting…it comes and goes. All are different and on a scale and different comorbidities that shape the full personality. Some may look like mild bipolarism…others may look psychopathic. I refer you to the prison stats on BPD both male and female.
You are a victim-blaming dick. Get over your pity party and accept your ex wife for who she is, and more importantly, raise your damn kids. This is about them, not your self-centered battle with a suffering person that you can’t handle.
Did I mention that she has had me have sex with her minutes after having sex with an IV drug using homeless person? I had his fluids on me and almost in my mouth. Accept?! You go too far in your protection of the sadism in her makeup. She is diagnosed by a psychiatrist as having 9 out of 9 criteria for BPD. We even got a second confirmation. And the IV user was only the worst instance that she has came clean on. She is pathological in her lying. Fooled everyone.
I usually just read through these threads without commenting, but there’s a first time for everything. I am very empathetic to your situation, I personally would have surely killed myself if I learned of something like that after 20 years. I guess that’s your reward. You are alive. If the roles were reversed, as it is in my situation, and you were the one with the BPD and she was just a lying, cheating bitch, you would have probably not been here to tell the story. I am an educated male with BPD as well as the handful of other anxieties and depressions that come with it, and I completely understand your position; however it is impossible to stress to you what it feels like when you have no emotional defense, no acquired coping techniques, no social skills, no sense of self or appreciation of self and no stable emotional support to help you. I can’t form close relationships properly because of my disorder, and I also need close relationships because of my disorder. It is hell trying to navigate this emotional landscape. If you only knew how tempting suicide can feel.
That being said.. Your wife deserves a shot at attempting to form proper relationships with her children, and I’m sure she has been given that opportunity, you sound like a decent guy, so if she didn’t take advantage of it then there isn’t much you can do. You should always try to leave that door open for her though, I can imagine her pain is very real over that, especially if she keeps it in and you can’t see it.
As for your guys’ relationship.. I have no clue how she can even claim to want you if she is sleeping with other men. I would be over the top frustrated and, as I said, I would almost certainly have killed myself already. I just might kill myself over my own stupid problems here, so I know that would do it.
My intention was merely to try to strengthen your empathy, but without being a weirdo and not sympathizing with your obviously life shattering situation.
Trae, I am empathetic in KNOWING that she has real internal pain, and my intent is to share how it feels to be on the receiving end of what i call atrocities that a diagnosed Borderline can place upon others that have care for them. So, I am trying to raise the empathy level of potential Borderlines so that they may at least not want to hurt others in such needless ways. They are needless and very damaging to our children and family at large. It destroyed our family and ALL have spilled out into their own therapies to try an figure out what has even happened to us. She hid in plain sight. She was the great pretender. She was the great annihilator of all in the end. I had to get paternity tests on all of our children just to see how deep it all went. And I am here to say that what she has done is not at uncommon. Psych Central site has many self-reporting Borderlines reporting their own behaviors. Some are alarmingly almost proud of it or lowly-empathetic, like “I cheat all of the time, but I don’t know why..maybe one day I will stop. We’ll see..”..stuff like that. I was in a support group with many with paternity fraud where they unwittingly were raising other men’s children. Empathy goes both ways. What is horrid, is even when she asks to reconcile, her depth of apology does not even remotely approach the level of crimes. I feel bad for her…and I can hate myself for that. Here i am feeling bad for her, and she is not so moved for the rest of us. She often cries with no tears. It is disturbing. I continue to support her to this day in her therapies and meds. It does burn-out or slow down after age 40 or with mood meds. Anti-depressants were the devil for her condition. No one with BOD should be on anti-depressants, they only remove more emotions from your inventory. She was less inhibited to do wrong while on them and the only emotion she seemed to have was anger or totally tuned-out. I am empathetic, but i cannot reach nor help her. As for the kids, she has full access to them a minority of the time. That part with them is for her to win or lose. I would not alienate her in any way form them, but she was a danger one of them at first because that child was more like me in demeanor and resemblance. Love one child, hate the other…it is discussed a lot that such scenarios are common with a BPD parent. I appreciate your comments and advice.
it is truly remarkable that I found this site today and your post…both have given me reassurance that other people suffer from BPD and that it is real and unfortunately as very destructive on the inside as it seems on the outside. Recovery takes one step at a time.
Youir ex wife has NARCISSM not BPD. Please, research BPD properly.We suffer a lot of remorse for what we do. Guilt is part and parcle of BPD. Narcissists have no conscience. I am so sick of people mixing up the two when it is obvious they have done little or no research. Some symptoms can overlap yes but one with no remorse is NOT BPD. The fact that her so called BPD pnly came out after 18 years of marriage to her again is a strong indicator that she is not BPD. That starts in adolescnce or at the latest eary adulthood. People with BPD suffer a living nightmare of emotions. To feel no reomorse is the total opposite of BPD. The fact she could pretend to be so sweet for 18 years…again BPD is impossible to hide even for a couple of days. Where was her borderline rage? Her constant irritation? Her crying pitifully and contemplating suicide then being too high on little happy things? Pity we seek. Oh my God! You have no clue
hello, I am from south India. I am suffering from BPD from one year. My life is like hell. I don’t know whom to consult and wat to do. any support plzzzzzzzzz
Not knowing what you have and have not done, I’m starting advice at square one.
Go to your medical doctor and ask for a recommendation for a Psychiatrist and/or therapist. You’ll want both, but one can help you find the other. Your medical doctor should have resources for at least the Psychiatrist, I’d hope. If not both.
Once you have a psychiatrist, go to every appointment. Finding the right medications for BPD can be a battle. Sometimes that battle makes you want to give up. Don’t give up.
Go to every therapy appointment. If you don’t like your therapist, or feel you can’t be open and honest with them, find another. You can’t get better if you aren’t honest.
Hopefully your therapist can help you find either Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) or Cognitive Therapy. DBT is best but can be harder to find, so Cognitive Therapy is at least better than nothing.
Set your mind to recovery. Don’t tell yourself you’ll never get better because then you will be right. Be stubborn that you will reach recovery and you’ll find it possible.
Never hesitate to email me privately. I might be able to help track down more specific help but I’ll need some specifics from you.
Anna Nicole Smith was diagnosed with BPD. Britney Spears was diagnosed as bipolar and from what I know, the only mental health issue Lindsay has been diagnosed with is ADHD.
I stumbled on this and thought, this Harish I must reply to! I hope I can help or guide you. I was diagnosed as having traits of BPD in 2007, not even a ‘full blown version, but I had already caused a lot of harm to myself and my surrounds (several serious attempts landing me in A&E coma). Firstly, this is a very complex topic so you simply can’t listen to uneducated people on the internet blabbering on as many above, who think they know – they just don’t. The first step IS the diagnosis which you’ve just had. It gives you something to start to work from. You can overcome this ‘disease’ or illness. It may be hard to accept at first but gradually you will accept that it is a disease. That’s why people are wrong when they say ‘John IS BPD’ rather than ‘John HAS BPD’. It’s sort of equivalent to saying an AIDS patient “is” AIDS, rather than has AIDS. Therein lies one of the complexities of mental illness generally, and it’s also an issue of other people being judgmental about it, you’ll see this but it doesn’t have to affect you too much once you have any kind of support or therapy. But it does take a long time to heal. Depending on the ‘severity’ of your condition, how much it has manifested, the length of time varies and I have seen people in group therapy who were obviously not in a hurry to move on from their diagnosis at all. This was what I saw and I think these guys might have had quite deep wounds that simply prevented them from moving on too quickly. Some also seemed to want to stay there as their identification with the BPD had become so strong. That’s why you must use it to help you only to work backwards through therapy as a means to overcome it and get back to you who you are. With the diagnosis can come the chance that you hang on to it too much. Try to avoid doing this, by being aware of it. I was always very active about dealing with it and getting better. In my own experience, it’s taken longer than I could have imagined but at the same time, it started to become ‘manageable’ quickly enough! I think that is the key – I am sure all BPD sufferers result from not having an opportunity to deal with it – often we have sought help, or ‘acted out’ which is asking for help. By the time we do somethig drastic the help may then come, and if you have a diagnosis that normally means there is someone there who can help heal you. It was a bit like working back through pain for me, in therapy, while at the same time becoming aware of how my behaviour needed to be addressed. Kmarr above is right with everything he says. I have now come out the other end and am managing pretty good in the face of problems in life now and rarely exhibit those traits. Stay positive, which sounds strange in the circumstances but this is what you have to do in between the really hard times. Find your therapist. I did not get on with my first one at all, while the second one I felt understood me. Then you just commit yourself to the process, there will be ups and downs, sometimes you will feel really good I think when you start noticing a change in yourself after being able to talk a lot and freely. Good luck and remember you are actually not alone, there are and have been many sufferers out there just like you. You will make it!
Whoever said that BPD and NPD are very similar-You should read the DSM again. They are TOTALLY different and Im also really SICK of people saying that because Im BPD Im probably a NARC too! Get your facts straight!!!!
Exactly!! Uneducated ignornat people mixing these two up make it even worse for us BPD sufferers
I’m happy to discover you!
What you say about Jim Morrison is interesting. What evidence do you have for this?
Unfortunately since this was a guest post I can’t answer for what evidence was used. Most of this can only be speculation.
I was recently diagnosed and have taken it very hard even though I do feel a certain level of relief knowing it’s a condition and not a reflect of who I am. I want to thank those above who have left comments of their own BPD paths and for the information of their experiences. You all have given me incredible hope and I want you to know how grateful I am for your honesty. I have felt very alone with this diagnosis for the past 6 weeks. I’m afraid to admit this to anyone . I talk about it with my therapist of course and one close friend. I walk around wondering who else has this horrible disorder and wonder if anyone knows that I do. I am obsessively looking online and reading everything I can find. I feel hopeless that I can be loved and ever be in a heathy relationship which is what I dream about. I am committed to working hard to learn the DBT skills and applying regularly as I go through my day. I want relief. I want to be healthy. I would like it to miraculously go away but I know I textually that’s not feasible. Instead, I will learn how to manage it with skills, meditation (which I’ve started) and exercise. Thank you for your generosity in sharing your personal struggles as to give us newbies HOPE….
BPD can only be diagnosed by consultants. No matter how similar symptoms may seem, many illnesses mirror and mimic each other. It is dangerous to self-diagnose or diagnose others
How is it dangerous? What might happen?
(BTW, it takes an average of 8 years and usually several professionals before someone is diagnosed with BPD. IMO, people familiar with the individual AND the illness are more likely to be accurate, earlier.)
My husband struggled with BPD since early childhood. When I met him he was 27. I was not aware of his diagnosis when I married him. I do not know whether he hid it well or was in some kind of remission, but when he had his first outburst and punched in the door on the fridge for no apparent reason; I’m sure my children’s and my mouth dropped open. I came to understand the disease somewhat. Unfortunately, we did not have access to qualified clinicians to treat him effectively. For six years we shuttled between counselors and psychiatrists; none of them really knowing what to do for him. He was frequently hospitalized. Because he could not hold a job, he was on disability and forced into the government health care system; which as far as I can tell, is a joke. He was essentially their guinea pig for every psychotropic drug available in every combination and dose! While in a hospital he hung himself and was not found for fifteen minutes even though he was on suicide watch!! He was on the back of the bathroom door. He was 45 years old and the finest man I ever knew and loved dearly; his pain broke my heart.
-hugs- I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry for what you went through. I’m so sorry for that horrid ending. Thank you very much for sharing your story.
I am so so sorry. There is nothing that can describe the guilt, pain, confusion, tears and sadness of loving someone with BPD. I learned about my ex boyfriends BPD early in and after barely a year I can’t do it anymore. My self worth is thinned, my stress level is off the charts, I dont even know who I am anymore after just that time. He was so great when he was “him” but his BPD was so destructive that I started to realize how much of my own self sanity I was sacrificing. I tried to “save and fix” him and love him the best I could. That is the worst part because it wasnt his fault. But at what point do you protect yourself…His self harm and suicide threats broke my heart as well. I will always worry about it and pray for him. Your story hurts my heart because if you are anyone with a good heart and particularly an empathetic one, leaving someone with this dissorder is so hard because of the deep sadness you feel for them. It challenges your very core and I’m so sorry about your ex husbands outcome. There is nothing I can say that will ever enough, but I just wanted to tell you that I understand. And sometimes that’s all I wanted someone to say to me because there were really no words to describe what I was going through. God Bless you.
Do any of YOU actually suffer from BPD??? You shouldn’t be spitting out your ideas on what YOU THINK it is. I have actually been diagnosed as Bipolar and have BPD. A lot of your comments are completely inaccurate! As someone with BPD, it pisses me of how people can spit out bullshit that isn’t based on any facts. That’s why the stigma attached to mental illness is so horrible. Please stop talking about what you think this disorder is about unless you’re a doctor or someone that suffers from it. Otherwise, I can guarantee your just giving poor info. Thanks.
Yes, well said. Nothing worse than people have no clue playing the mental health pprofessional. I have BPD and some of these comments are beyond ludicrous!
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