I don’t expect this to make any sense. It’s 12:54 AM which makes it 2 hours past my bedtime. Hell, I was at my mom’s house wrapping gifts and watching tv until my bedtime. Ok, my mom wrapped my gifts. All of them. I haven’t wrapped a single gift this year. Though I do have to wrap what my boys are giving my mom. So I guess I am wrapping something. But that’s not much. Apparently, my mom loves wrapping presents. I hate it and I’m no good at it.

We didn’t go overboard this year with the presents. We spent only what we could afford and that was it. I had some overtime, that helped.

I’m noticing that my long ago written post ADD versus ADHD is popular. I don’t know if people are finding it useful. I’m not seeing any comments on it. It’s just viewed a lot.

I haven’t really thought about my possible ADHD in awhile. Once I found I couldn’t be off the Geodon like needed to take the stimulant, I kinda just gave up on it a moved on. I’m still kinda curious if the med change would be helpful, but I’ll probably never know.

Speaking of ADHD, Thomas is still in therapy. I don’t really see that changing anytime soon. Our main goals are two-fold. One, we would like to see some changes in behavior. But also, I’m slowly learning, I hope, how to better parent him. This is driving Pat crazy. He feels like Thomas should have his therapist to himself and I should be in another room and that is that. And I know that will be an eventual part of the process. But if Thomas does indeed have ADHD, Pat and I need to learn what we’re doing to handle it. Because clearly what we are doing now, isn’t working quite as we hoped.

Half of my brain is tired and fried, the other half won’t shut down. That’s what the Lunesta is for, I realize, but I just don’t quite feel like popping that pill just yet.

I guess part of me knows I can sleep in in the morning. I’ve been very good about going to bed each night when the alarm on my phone goes off. And the mornings I get to sleep in, I get up when my body is ready to be up. 95% of the time that’s around 10:30. It used to be more like noon or 2 in the afternoon. This whole being wide awake at 10:30 thing is foreign to me. But it’s the reality. I don’t know what time I’ll get up in the morning. I can only sleep so late because I have things to do tomorrow afternoon. I have to be up by noon at the latest. I can’t imagine that being a big deal.

I ripped the seat out of one of the pairs of my work pants. And I’m so mad about it. I didn’t do anything careless, it was an accident that was bound to happen. The self-scans at work have little parts that reach out and grab. I’m frequently squeezing between these parts and shopping carts. So, sure enough, I now have a nice sized hole. Pat thinks my mom can fix them. I hope so. Though I mostly hope I get a new job where I can go back to wearing my black pants. I’ll still wear my khakis from time to time so they aren’t a total waste of money. But I have like a dozen pairs of black slacks, thanks to Stacy, that simply don’t get worn anymore. Between the khakis and black, I would have plenty of pants to wear to a job at a bank.

I’m going to shut up now and go to bed. Or at least watch some late night tv. But probably sleep. Night everyone.