Luke, standing on scale: What number did I turn momma?
Me: 43.6! You’re getting so big and strong!
Luke: I know! It’s because I poop all the time now!
Ok. Wait. Pooping creates weight gain now? About as logical as the doctor’s insistence that it wasn’t the beta-blocker. And no, apparently I’m not over that yet. Especially since in the 3 weeks I’ve been off it, I’ve lost 8 pounds. Yes I’m aware that in the past week I’ve started counting calories. But, I’ve also been cheating and counting sex, and 5 minutes a day of stretching, as exercise. So…