Luke, standing on scale: What number did I turn momma?
Me: 43.6!  You’re getting so big and strong!
Luke: I know!  It’s because I poop all the time now!

Ok.  Wait.  Pooping creates weight gain now?  About as logical as the doctor’s insistence that it wasn’t the beta-blocker.  And no, apparently I’m not over that yet.  Especially since in the 3 weeks I’ve been off it, I’ve lost 8 pounds.  Yes I’m aware that in the past week I’ve started counting calories.  But, I’ve also been cheating and counting sex, and 5 minutes a day of stretching, as exercise.  So…