I’m not really sure what to say this week. I’m doing good for the most part.
I had a small trip into the dark side over the weekend. But even then I pulled myself along. I didn’t rage. Instead I shut my trap and was silent. Equally harmful, perhaps. I don’t know. I did quite a bit of crying. Once at work (I pulled myself together quickly) and one night I cried myself to sleep.
So what would the BPD response to the stress have been?
- Crying of course, though that is only natural
- Cutting perhaps
- Suicidal idealization
- Anger
- Possible rage
- Ignoring my husband (guilty)
- Sleeping it away
So after asking my husband for help he has pointed out that I in part had a BPD response when I ignored him when he was trying to help. So maybe I am a little guilty. But of those 6 bullet points, only being guilty of 2 of them isn’t bad. Or at least not as bad as times past.
Healthy ways to cope with the stress?
- Writing/blogging about it
- Photography
- Playing with my kids
- Submersing myself into my job
- Gaming
- Using healthy sex with my husband to work out frustration (Please note this is different then sleeping with random people to work out frustration. If you are in a healthy supportive relationship, sex is a great way to burn off some steam.)
How do you handle stress that leads to depression?
I think I tend to try to control the stress. Like I plan out my day or make lists of things. Sometimes in a productive way, somtimes not so much. And I blog which is sometimes helpful and sometimes not. I often try to relax by taking a bath or laying out in the hammack. Or I ask my husband to rub my feet or back.
Finding ways to relax is always helpful. For me that's photography.