I no longer know if I’m being Supportive of Karen, or being an enabler…
all I know is that I’m Miserable, Unhappy, and don’t know how to handle any/all of this any more.
I’m scared of talking around her because I’m not sure what id say out of Anger, or out of love for that matter.
every other word out of her mouth these days brakes my heart and fills me full of questions I’m scared of getting the answers too…
Ive heard the Cliche “I Love you, but I’m no longer IN love with you…” but right now Its backwards for me… Im very much in love with Karen. But I dont like who she has become in just a few months time, and im finding it very hard to love her.
every once in a while she does somthing as simple as stretching and yawning and my heart flutters…
Is it the meds that have changed her? Her obsession with BPD? RL Stress Building up?
All I know is, this change is not for the better.
or maybe I have it backwards again and this change is better for her. its just not better for me and the Boys. maybe it was a bad idea for her to marry someone like me and have children so young and now she is growing up and feeling stuck.
the only thing im sure of is I’m not Happy… every thing else is Obscured by “if’s” and “Maybe’s”