Diana,

We’re having a struggle with Thomas. He’s been talking for months now about wanting to quit pre-school and my husband and I are about at our breaking point of trying to force him there on school days. His main complaint is the typical “bully” situation. And I guess I need a view point of someone who isn’t and overly sensitive 5-year-old.

He’s complaining that James and Eyan are mean to him. My gut is telling me that they are all 3 just typical kids and mine just isn’t use to it. (He’s very much use to being the leader with little to no resistance from his peers.) Anyway, almost every day he complains that they’ve said mean things. I guess I’m just wondering if Thomas is starting it, escalating it, or completely out of fault. There is of course the possibility/probability that whatever is said is so minor that it doesn’t need attention and he’s blowing it out of proportion. Most recently it’s been James telling him knock-knock jokes where the punch line is “insulting” in a little kid’s mind. The classic “boo who? followed by “You don’t have to cry about it.”

I don’t feel or think anyone is to blame in any of it. I really do think 5-year-old boys are just rough on each other by nature. I don’t think Thomas is use to it. And I really refuse to pull him out of the school because of “bullies”.

On the other hand, the hubby and I have been talking about pulling him out for awhile now, at no fault of the school or class, and Thomas’s wishes have us looking at it more closely. If he honestly doesn’t want to be there and my mom is struggling to afford it, among other problems (continuing car troubles, my work schedule, my husband’s physical health, my mental health), then why keep pushing it? On the other hand, I DO NOT want him thinking he can just leave school because not everyone likes him or is nice. What happens when starting next year he can’t just quit?

We’ve never run into anything like this before. This is his third year in pre-school and the first 2 years he loved it. He cried his days off and never wanted to leave. He loved all his class mates and adored everything to do with it. This year is a 180 in his attitude. Part of me wonders if the underlying problem is that at 5 1/2 nearing 6, he’s simply out-grown the pre-school atmosphere.

I’m just feeling very lost here.

Karen