I Look In The Mirror And Now I See

A glimmer of hope looking back at me.

The Monday or so after I learned I had already lost my new friend, I went into work to discover a branch outing was in the works.  That week was a co-worker’s birthday.  We were totes going to a local bar to celebrate with him.

When the day came, only 4 of us actually were planning to go.  But the 4 of us was a really great combination.  When all 10-12 of us go out, I enjoy my time with my coworkers whom I like for better and worse.  But that evening with the 4 of us, I wasn’t among coworker’s I was among friends.  My immediate supervisor and I got there first.  He was my ride and we were going straight from work.  Between the drive and the hour before anyone showed, we had some great conversation.  I got to know him behind the tie, and he got to know me.  Then as the other 2 trickled in, the conversation grew.  Alcohol flowed, pool was played, and we had fun.  But mostly?  Between shots of Irish Breakfast, and turns at the pool table we just talked and talked and talked, the 4 of us knowing we were among friends and anything we had to say was safe, respected, and appreciated.  We joked.  We appreciated.  We enjoyed good conversation.

And after the weekend’s revelations?  Oh was that needed.

The following Monday, I told my fellow female patron of the bar night (2 ladies, 2 gents) that we needed to hang out more.  Mind you, I’m still licking wounds from the 4th of July as well.  Her immediate response?  Hey we can go climbing!  (Her other job is managing a climbing gym.)  Once I confirmed she wasn’t trying to kill me off, I decided I was going to go for it.  As big of a klutz as I am, I trust her and I knew that if I could do this, my view of myself would be forever altered for the better.

I walked away from that 5 day span with a happy outlook on my social life.  Can the 4 of us go to the bar weekly?  Probably not.  But that pair up is happening again and I can’t wait!  (I even told them I’d let work acknowledge my birthday if the 4 of us hanging out could be part of the plan.)  As for the climbing?  It is officially a weekly thing.  Every Monday after work, I’m dressing down and scaling a 20-25 foot wall.  I’ll spend the next 2 days walking funny because oh the workout, but it’s worth it.

I’m not athletic.  I’m a klutz.  But I can climb the hell out of that wall.  Ok, maybe not as well as someone who’s been doing it for years.  But considering I’m a fat girl, couch potato, I rock at climbing the hell out of that wall.

And my ego will never be the same.  In all the ways it should shift.

Once she starts teaching classes on Mondays I’ll see about getting an actual membership there. (I get in free for now since they are closed Mondays and she has a key.  Oh, and the owner doesn’t care because the only resource I’m using is my friend’s time.) In the meantime I’m helping get my friend in shape for the fall climbing season, and can be sure that this is something I’ll stick with before I invest.  And oh how I plan to!


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