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Day 4 – Memorial Hospital

I got a roommate in the middle of the night.

I spoke to the nurse about why I’m here and my expectation and how the aren’t being met. She agreed with me that my expectations can’t be met here. We both agree that I’m better off going home. I’m hoping for today or tomorrow.

The nurse group today was actually interesting. It’s the first thing I’ve actually gotten out of my stay here. We talked about chemical imbalances and brain chemistry. I think I’ll even make a blog entry out of it.

We talked about abuse in the social worker group today. I spoke some about what Brian put me through. Then I spoke about what I’m putting my kids through. My rages and I are on track to be becoming an abusive mother. I’ve feared it for years now. I’m now seeing that it can’t continue. I’m hoping Pat and I can break the cycle of abuse together.

I’m frustrated that my reasons for being here are pointless. However, I’ve had some time to destress and to focus my thoughts. I did need that.

We are outside right now and there is a creek. I really want to play in it and they won’t let me. They think I might try to drown myself. I tried to swear on Luke’s life that I wouldn’t. It made no difference.


  1. Comment by Mamã Babada:

    aren’t you affraid that if you continue going to the hospital and don’t get better, the government prohibits you to live with your children?

  2. Comment by She Who Is:

    My husband is stable and provides them with stability. They won’t take them from him.

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