I lie here in my bed lonely for companionship outside my marriage and family. Friends I can go out on the town with. Bars, movies, outside adventure. Who really cares what, when there are friends involved?

I have a couple best friends. Both live in another state. I have a another good friend soon to move.  An acquaintance who is near enough but doesn’t fill that need.

So I reflect back to the one I lost over a pair of shoes and I think how stupid. Am I being too stubborn?  Then I realize I’m on the side that should be stubborn. I didn’t let her get away because of a pair of shoes she wanted to wear. She let me get away over a pair of shoes I need to wear for a medical condition.

This goes beyond being stubborn. This goes to the definition of friendship. No one is good enough for her, she simply tolerates people to various degrees.

And I want friends who don’t simply tolerate me.

Right now though, I just want friends I can actually hang out with face to face.

A year ago when I was in this same boat, I didn’t know what I was missing. But since then, I’ve had a span where I was really out of the house with a social life.  So now that it’s gone, I’m back to where I was, only this time I know exactly what I’m missing out on.