I keep getting asked how is work, now that I’m back.
I keep avoiding the question in hopes of good news and therefor a cheerful answer coming to me.
Fact is, I’m right and I was not ready to be back. I’m not handling the pressures and stress like I need to. Any job is stressful. Being a supervisor makes it even more so. When shit hits the fan I have no one to turn to to help me. It’s my job to handle it. Within reason of course. Bottom line though, if it goes on in my lab, I’m in charge. And when things get stressful, I’m the one feeling it.
That’s what today was.
Monday and Tuesday was just an overwhelming feeling of just wanting to go and hide.
Then there is the crying. I have enough trouble with feeling like my managers don’t respect me. Sitting in my lab and crying, with them fully aware, does not help that feeling.
I don’t know. I’m just at a loss for words.
Work is stressful. Home is stressful. And I’m not handing stress at the moment at all.