Sorry to mislead you but it simply isn’t possible. I’m not saying they can’t be happy. I’m just saying you can’t make them that way. You can make them happier. You can make them see a moment of happy. You can even help lead them to the light at the end of the tunnel. But truly, if they are unhappy they are probably depressed. And not the need a hug kind, but serious clinical depression. No amount of hugs can fix that. The good news is, meds can. So if the BPD in your life is miserable, talk to them about getting on meds, or adjusting the meds they are on if they are no longer working. Even then, true happiness has to come within themselves. You still can’t make them happy.
Having trouble making them happy even with you? In a relationship where it’s starting to feel one sided? Remember, they have to love themselves before they can truly love anyone else. And they have to be happy with themselves before they can truly be happy with anyone else.
Starting to feel like they will never be happy or that they don’t want to be happy? Now is not the time to give up. They need your love and support now more than ever. See them through this, and you’ll get to enjoy the end of the tunnel with them.
This all sounds increasingly sappy I know. I’m right there in the thick of this. I’ve found the end of my tunnel. It’s in my sight, if not yet in my reach. I know I have my moments where I don’t think I love my husband. Yet he’s stood by me through a hell of a lot. As my end of tunnel nears, he’s the one I’m clinging to. I’m enjoying him more now than ever before. So this sappy comes from experience.
There are 4 things everyone with BPD needs:
The right meds
A patient therapist
But most importantly : A solid trustworthy support system of friends and family.