How To Get a Toddler To Nap in 2 Easy Steps

1. Leave your mother’s house with Toddler in his car seat.
2. Drive to son’s preschool.

How it actually happened:
1. Pack Toddler who is fighting a nap into car after chiropractor.
2. Drive to mom’s house to pick something up.
3. Leave refusing to nap toddler in car for the 30 seconds it takes you to run in, grab something, run out.
4. Drive to oldest’s preschool.
5. Realize toddler is still awake.
6. Decided you have time to kill anyway and take a 2 mile detour circle of a drive to encourage nap.
7. Drive through school zone.
8 Be too focused on toddler in your rear view mirror to notice speed or cop.
9. Fix mirror back to back window just in time to see cop’s lights.
10. Listen to toddler scream because car has stopped
11. Receive a 160$ speeding ticket (rates recently doubled) for going 35 in a 20mph school zone.
12. Drive slowly back to preschool taking the shortest route possible.
13. Reach school in 2 minutes and realize the toddler is finally asleep.
14. Debate: Wake him up or send friend’s parent in to get the 5 year old.
15. Realize all the parents are in there already.
16. Wait 5 minutes.
17. Oldest’s son’s crush’s father comes out with said crush.
18 Have him guard car while you get oldest.
19. Buckle 5 year old in and shut door.
20 1 year old wakes and starts screaming
21. Return home
22. Change diaper
23. Throw one year old into crib
24. Screaming
25. More screaming
26. Out cold.
27. It’s been 2 hours now.
28. Kill the person who makes the noise that wakes him.

It took me 1.5 hours and cost me 160$ but he is finally taking the nap he’d been fighting all the damn day long.

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