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It’s 2 AM

I can’t sleep. I have a long day ahead and I can’t sleep. I have matters weighing heavy on my mind and I don’t know what to do, where to turn.

My father has mental health issues. It’s clear to everyone but him. He sees a therapist, but hasn’t been diagnosed as anything and isn’t on any meds.

Meanwhile he is the most passive aggressive person I know.

When he moved in it was the agreement that he’d live here with all expenses covered on return he does things like the dishes and vacuums.

Then every now and then we’ll hit a road bump.

Example?

About a week ago he gave our 5 year old pepsi at 8:45 at night. Thomas still has trouble staying dry at night and we limit his liquid intake severely after dinner. So pepsi of all things right before bed is a huge problem.

Pat said something to dad. I’m not sure how nice or mean Pat was, but this wasn’t a first time offense and I’m sure Pat was at least somewhat diplomatic. Though for all I know he chewed his head off.

My dad’s response?

He’s hid in his room for the past week, won’t say a word to us and is doing jack shit around the house.

I don’t ask much but after a long day of work I shouldn’t be the one loading the dishwasher. Neither should Pat who spends the day chasing 2 boys. This has been dad’s philosophy since he moved in. But since he fucked up it’s now, if he can’t get it right he just won’t do anything.

I don’t know.

Maybe I’m over reacting.

But ever since he moved in we’ve been dealing with this off and on bullshit of him being passive aggressive. Meanwhile he clearly doesn’t want to be here. And rubs in our faces that he thinks we are dependent on him. How? He buys the occasional food. He saves every receipt to prove it. At the same time Pat and I foot a large chunk of the food bill which would be smaller with one less mouth to feed. And most of what he buys we aren’t dependent on. We were fine before him, we’d be fine after.

I don’t know.

I just don’t know.

I know I can’t live like this.

I know it breaks my heart to see this side of my father.

I always saw him as this noble man who’d give you the shirt off his back. But he’d turned into this bitter man who glares at me when I say hi to him.

My father glares and me and refuses to speak to me.

And I’m supporting him.

Seriously.

I keep the roof over his head and pay for his internet. I pay the electric and gas. I spend 400$ a month on groceries.

His mom sends him a check every month that he is suppose to use to help out. He uses it to buy shit we don’t need while meanwhile we missed an electric bill because I missed 2 weeks of work to be in the hospital.

I don’t know what to do.

I don’t want him here any longer.

I can’t kick him out.

I wish my sister would take a turn at living with him at some point. I realize that won’t be yet she doesn’t have the means. But according to her she got him up here, her job is done. Thanks sis.

My father is using my kids as pawns against me and you packed some boxes.

*sigh*

Meanwhile it’s now 2:16 and I’m still up sick over this whole ordeal.

I need to go to bed.

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