Finances and BPD Archive

A Quality Investment

Posted April 8, 2013 By kmarrs

So Sambam and I got matching stamped bracelets.  Only, ours are more printed on than actually stamped. There is no indent.  There is ink or sticky or something.  I don’t care.

Except how I got thinking how I would do it different.

Then I got thinking I could do it different.

Then I got thinking I could do this.  I mean, how hard can it be?

Answer: Not hard.

The initial investment would be around 450$ in supplies.  That would give me bracelet blanks, stamps and tools.  From there any stamps I’d want to add seem to run about 8-10$.  I’d start with all the letters, both upper and lower case, as well as all the numbers and some pretty designs.

Then as I went, the continual running cost doesn’t seem too bad.  30$ for every 130 bracelets, roundabouts?  This could actually pay for itself in time.

I wouldn’t do it full-time.  I would make presents.  Shines for me and the girl-child.  And I’d gladly take custom orders from those I know to recoup costs.

I wouldn’t bother with Etsy unless I could knock them out a dozen at a time.  OK, half-dozen.  But this involves sanding or filing metal.  I figure I’d be good to make 1-2 a week.

In a year, if I sold all those 1-2 a week, I might even recover the costs of my initial investment.

So clearly this is a bit of a pipe dream since I don’t have the time commitment to make the money sink profitable.

Unless someone out there has 450$ to sink into a quality investment.



Any takers?

But let me make one thing clear: If I can track down that TARDIS stamp I keep seeing used, this is happening!

I’ll just sell my first bracelet for 500$.

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Finding Logic In Words

Posted October 29, 2012 By kmarrs

Since before I even graduated high school, over 10 years ago, I’ve been a student at the local community college.  At no point, aside from one measly semester in 11 years, has this gone well for me.  First I was young and dumb and made a bad decision.  Then I had the consequences of that decision.  Then I had a fresh start and did beyond well.  Then as I attempted a repeat of doing well, I got promoted and moved in the same week and lost internet connection at the same time, while taking online classes.  Oy.  I thought I dropped the classes, properly, in time but apparently not.  Drama drama drama.  And CSCC has no interest in really working with me.  Looking at the 11 year history of the good and the bad and trying to solve the problem so that I can be the student I am capable of and want to be.  Dudes, I am really really trying here.

Finally it got to the point where I just accepted I was going to have to pay out-of-pocket until my GPA was “acceptable” so I could get my aid back.  What’s being counted on my GPA?  Two classes I dropped properly a week too late and 2 damn near perfect scores.  I can see why I’m an at-risk student that should be denied the aid the federal government already approved and handed to them.

God, I don’t want to drudge that back up.  I’m over it.  It’s behind me.  But the want to be educated isn’t.  My life is settling.  My kids are only getting older and wiser.  I will have no more in the oven.  I have this opportunity for once in a long time, to be really selfish in a way that will better me so that I can better my family and our situation in life.

But, to continue at CSCC I do still have to pay out-of-pocket awhile.  And while I have made arrangements for a benefactor, that person can’t do anything for another couple of years.  All this to go to a school I don’t even really wish to attend anymore.  Sure it’s cheap and easy, but what is the real cost?  Is it really as easy as it could and maybe should be?

I’ve spent the past year going over my options.  First aggressively and without any feelings of hope about a year ago.  Then I put it aside and focused on my career all while trying to decide not on the school, but on the intended degree I could get from it.

Now I find myself hearing news of the school I have always known about.  I know people who are starting there.  Just finishing there.  Making something of themselves there.  And I find myself jealous.  Why not me?  Why is it never me?  Then I learned the one thing holding me back wasn’t an issue: They actually offer their classes online!

Boom.  That was all I needed.  I’ve started the process of enrollment.  I’m ready to fill out the forms for my aid.  They won’t be given the info from my CSCC days which means a 100% fresh start.  Sure I’ll have to retake 2 classes, but in the grand scheme, if this goes as I’m starting to plan, who cares?  It’s 2 easy classes that I’ll get to start with and hopefully pull the same damn near perfect scores.  Talk about starting school with an ego boost.

I don’t expect to be able to start before summer.  I don’t know how many classes I’ll take at a time.  I know tuition is 3 times the cost so I’ll need aid to cover every penny.  This means I’ll have to be sure to take enough credit hours.  This may mean, and I hope not, that I’ll be working full-time and going to school full-time.  But even then?  So what.  I’ll be busting ass balancing work, school and family, but in 4 years I’ll come out the other end a mother-fuckin-college graduate!  I’ll be damned if anything is going to hold me back.  Not even my own nerves.  I’ve wanted this for far too long and that drive that has built for 11 years will get me past the next 4.

Dammit, I am Karen hear me roar!

This isn’t full-on insane, right?

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Christmas Nears

Posted September 19, 2012 By kmarrs

Sorry about that, but it does.

I have a favor to ask. One that doesn’t actually require you to do anything.

If you are already planning an Amazon purchase or 20, can you enter the site by one of the links I offer?

You don’t have to buy anything specific our even special, but by simply starting your shopping from my site with one of my many links, I get a little cash to put towards my own Christmas.

In thanks, I offer:

Borderline Personality Disorder bpd and parenting

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Posted July 5, 2012 By kmarrs

Work is going good and I just got a promotion, but with 3 kids, every little bit helps.  I’ve built an association with Amazon.  Don’t know if it will work out or do any good.  But the perk is I get to show you the books for BPD I recommend the most. (Bottom right column)  Then in the footer… well if you are planning to make an Amazon purchase and start from that search box I get a little something.  Not much but something.  And all you are doing is changing where you star the Amazon purchasing from.

If you aren’t into it, don’t worry about not using it and it’s tucked away down at the bottom.  If it doesn’t work out, I’ll remove the search box.  I still like the carousel thingie because it is a great way to show books on this illness I find helpful.

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The Dates

Posted June 9, 2012 By kmarrs

All the necessary dates we’ve been missing for this move are in.

Dad is out this coming Monday.  June 11, to be exact.

We close June 29th.  We have to be 100% out of our current apartment July 4th.

We were hoping to have the summer to move slowly but it isn’t going to happen that way.

This makes things more stressful but it’ll happen.  We do just want to get it over with, after all.

I lose internet at some point between the 15th and the 4th.  We are disconnecting here and being sure we are 100% square with the bill then reconnecting at the new place.  I’ll let you know, closer to the point I actually lose it, the exact day it goes down.

As for the DBT series I’m planning.  I don’t think starting it this Tuesday will work.  First, long gap of space I won’t have internet to work on it.  I can type them all now and schedule them out, but right now I need to focus on packing.  There is a lot of crap to pack that needed to wait until we had confirmed dates.

So here is to the beginning of one of the most stressful months of recent times.  Bare with me and stick around.  Hopefully I’ll come out the other end happier and with a kick-ass series on DBT to premier!

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Encouraged, Discouraged

Posted May 30, 2012 By kmarrs

I want to write, but my ability feels stifled by should and shouldn’t. So at some point you just have to say fuck it, and write to keep from bursting at the seams.

First, I may be going for a promotion at work. It’s the most basic of promotions: full-time. But, it’s a step up none-the-less. It isn’t even for sure the position will be open. And if it is, it will be offered company wide. I’ll have to apply and interview. But with my manager saying she’d wave the 1-year of employment recommendation before full-time is offered, I guess I have some chance. I suppose it boils down to who all applies. I’m a contender, but if someone is more or better qualified, well they’d be an asset to our team.

The whole house hunt thing isn’t going too well.

Where we left off, the house we (Jesse) are in contract with, failed the first inspection miserably. But the bank went “Oh Shit! We’ll fix it all!” and we’re like “OK, we can wait out repairs.” Well, on the list of failures, there were some Jesse could fix easily enough, but there were some he couldn’t and any one of those alone were deal breakers. Well the bank has declared themselves done and another inspection has been done. And it did not pass. One of the huge deal breakers wasn’t even touched. So the bank that is selling is being re-approached. And if they don’t take care of it like they said they would, deal is off.

The thing is, Jesse is going through a lot of shit now besides this and the stress of buying this house for us, is not helping. Especially since his physical health is involved. And he just does not right now have what it takes to start the process over. And he shouldn’t have to. It isn’t his job to put a roof over our heads. His offer was wonderful. But not at the cost of his health. While he is still fighting for this house, if it falls through…

We will have to move to plan C. Which is actually back to plan A. And that won’t involve Jesse.

What I am pissed off over, is that if the bank that is selling hadn’t told us every damn thing was going to be fixed, we would have spent all of April and May seeking another house. Or, an apartment. Or something. We were dumb, I guess. But they said they had everything covered. We were in contract. And we’re tired. Really really tired. So we assumed things being fixed, meant things were being fixed. There was even a list involved.

So I guess if this falls through, we’ll figure out a 3 bedroom apartment somewhere for a few years until Pat and I can use a tax return to plop down a down payment. And since it will be a home loan, and not an investment loan, that technically means more house for the down, or less down needed. So long run, this might be better. Once we figure out the meantime.

And we will figure out the meantime.

Or the bank will follow through on their word and we’ll get this house.


But we have basically until Sammy’s first birthday to figure it out. That’s around the time our lease is up.

Speaking of, it’s officially the 30th of May and my baby is now 9-months-old.

So much has changed in this past year. So much has become awesome. We’ve been on an upswing after a long, drawn out downswing. Hopefully our luck will hold and this next move will be amazing.

If nothing else, should I be made full-time at work, we’ll be able to put more towards rent.

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