Growth

So many people will tell you that high school was the best time of their lives.

Or I’ll look at the pressures of being an adult and wish I could be 7-years-old again.

But when I really reflect and meditate on it, while I didn’t have to worry about making rent when I was 7, I was not exactly a worry free child.

Right now, at this point in my life, I have more true friendship than I have ever before had. I’ve always been so fucking lonely. So lonely. But now? I have more friends than I can count. And while I would seriously benefit from a local best friend, that is no longer a dire need.

I have made so many friends on Tumblr that I can honestly say that my life is overflowing with love. I’m also on a few discord servers where I have everything from casual acquaintances I’m getting to know better, to those that I’ve really become good friends with.

Life is not easy right now. We are so finacially dependent on my mother and it is the most depressing thing. Additionally, any therapist will tell you that access to fun money is important. I’m not talking like hundreds of dollars. But even like 20$ a paycheck that can go towards seeing a movie, or buying a book you’ve been eyeing. And that just does not exist for me right now. Not without going further into debt. And it’s depressing.

But I feel like… with the power of friendship on my side there is less… well, not less stress, but less feeling like life is horrid. My friends can’t fix my financial woes. They can’t save me from the stress of balancing school, work and family. But they help distract. They are great to talk to, about serious stuff and silly stuff alike. They help ease the burden of life.

I always knew, even as a child, that I was lonely. But never, before now, did I realize how full life can be when you have friends on your side. And I would never trade this feeling for anything!

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