Archive for May, 2016

Therapy with Fish Episode 1: An Introduction

Posted May 31, 2016 By kmarrs

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Posted May 26, 2016 By kmarrs

Sambam has officially graduated preschool and I’m all %@%$^@$%&@$ about it.

See, she was meant to have two years of preschool.  I like the idea of her having that extra year of childhood, plus she’s literally on the cut-off date as far as birthdays goes for entering the Kindergarten.  Literally.  She has to turn 5 by August 30, 2016.  Her 5th birthday IS August 30, 2016.  So it’s not much exaggeration to say she’ll be the youngest in her class going into kindergarten.  I really wanted her to be on the opposite end of that spectrum.  Newly 6, two years of preschool under her belt, ready to go.

But not my kid.  No.  She’s already learned everything the preschool has to teach her and if I hold her back, I’ll literally be holding her back, and she’ll be bored out of her mind.

So off to Kindergarten she goes in the fall, whether I like it or not.

I even tried to argue she wasn’t mature enough for it, but her teacher presented some pretty compelling evidence that she really really is ready.  So don’t mind me, I’m just going to sob over my baby growing up.

Because that’s what this is.  All my arguments over her age, I just don’t want to face the facts that she is fully and wholly old enough, mature enough, and smart enough for this next step.

My baby went and grew up, with or without my permission.

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Meet Spike

Posted May 24, 2016 By kmarrs

Spike is a very young, very small, Sunburst Platy.


And here we have Snailburt. Snailburt has hundreds of family members all living in my 20 gallon, eating my plants. I’m not overly fond of Snailburt and co. I mean, they also eat algae but in my 20 they seem to much prefer the plants because they are dying and the algae is out of control. Anyway, Snailburt.  I just love watching his little mouth work.  When my plants aren’t involved, that is.

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I am.

I don’t know what I am, but I am.

Part of me thinks I’m too sick to keep trying to juggle school and work and life.  But at the same time, having a routine and structure does me good.  Work gives me that.  I have somewhere to be during the week.

My hours have dropped.  First, they couldn’t keep me busy for 20-25 hours a week.  That’s a simple fact.  So instead of being there from 9-3 Monday-Thursday, I’m now there from 10-3 Monday through Wednesday.  Some weeks it might be more like 10-2 Monday through Thursday.  Either way, it’s fewer hours.  Which is good.  I keep the routine and structure, but I don’t have to push myself harder than I can reasonably function.

I am still sick.

And tired.  God I’m tired.

So it is with this in mind that I’m continuing my bid for social security.  By dropping down in hours I’m improving my health, but I’m also making under 1000$ a month now so I’m not automatically ineligible for ssi.

In all work is going rather well.  I like my job and I seem to be good enough at it.  I also like my boss so I’m happy where I’m at.  I just can’t do it for more than 15-20 hours a week.  I’m not healthy enough.

Meanwhile, school is going really well.  I just finished another term and kept my perfect 4.0 in the process.

My new term has already started, by the point in time you are reading this.  This one should be easier than the last two.  Well, last term, macro and microeconomics wasn’t hard.  It was just a LOT of writing.  This one should be less work overall.

My first class is called Understanding Science.  It’s a two credit hour class that meets a general education requirement.  It’s 12 weeks long and while there are 4 tests in total, I’m not expecting much trouble.  I’m good at science and this is only skimming the surface.

My second class starts in 6 weeks and it’s Communication Ethics.  I know nothing about it but the girl I work with just took it and got a B.  She also said it was one of those classes where you can get all the work done in a single evening.  So I’ll give myself two evenings and get an A.  Her professor was also a stingy grader.  Hopefully mine isn’t.  I do know I’m taking it with someone else so there is a chance s/he is an easy grader.

That’s basically my life right now.  School.  Work.  Kids.  Sleep.  More sleep.

I guess that’s why I’m not writing much.  There are only so many ways I can say school is going well.  And well, life is rather drama free at the moment.  I’m not complaining, but it makes for a quiet blog.

Even my current stint of unhealthy is a quiet one.  I’m simply tired and stressed and moderately melancholy.

I’ll post a fish update soon.  They give me life.

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Sarah Lockwood is a concerned parent and former social worker. Having worked with the public for decades and after watching her own daughter struggle with addiction, Sarah knows all too well the devastation that can be caused by drug and alcohol abuse. Sarah’s daughter is now in recovery, but her experiences with substance abuse inspired Sarah to get involved with She plans to spread awareness and support through her work for others dealing with addiction. While Sarah devotes a lot of time to the Coalition, she makes sure to relax and enjoy the small things in life, as every day is a gift.

Nothing tests us more than a personal emergency that causes severe anxiety, feelings of depression, or even thoughts of suicide. When a personal crisis has become so devastating that you feel there is no way out, asking for help may seem out of the question. You may be embarrassed or ashamed about having a problem. You don’t want to let people down, and you don’t want to be judged. While these concerns are valid, there are many avenues through which you can reach out for help without being subject to judgement or shame.

Getting Assistance for Alcohol Abuse

Many people battle some kind of problem with alcohol. Some have issues with binge drinking or alcohol addiction, which are serious concerns.Untitled

According to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, “approximately 17 million adults ages 18 and older have an alcohol use disorder (AUD) and 1 in 10 children live in a home with a parent who has a drinking problem.”

When people think about treatment for alcohol abuse they think of a 12-step program. You can call Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) to talk with someone who may be able to help you work through your problems or help find sources of your community. You could also attend an AA meeting. It’s important to remember it’s anonymous, so you are able to choose what you share about yourself within your own level of comfort .

Does your employer offer an assistance program? Call or speak with them to find out what programs and services are offered through this benefit. Seeking out a therapist or speaking with a counselor at a treatment center are other options when you’re not sure where to turn. If you know someone who has gone through recovery and feel comfortable, others who have endured similar struggles are often more than willing to offer a helping hand to someone else who is navigating the journey of recovery.

Finally, turning to your primary care physician is a helpful starting point. Your doctor can start evaluating you to determine the types of treatments that are best-suited for your unique situation. If needed, they can refer you to specialists who can provide treatments and services to aid you on the road to recovery.

Seeking Help for Suicidal Thoughts

It is crucial to seek help if you’re having thoughts of hurting yourself or suicidal thoughts. If you or someone you know are having suicidal thoughts, please seek help immediately. Call 911 or the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255). If you’re not currently in danger, there are resources on the internet to help find support groups and therapists to help you through these hard times.

If you’re having a difficult time, and are not sure what to do, contact a close friend or family member who might be able to talk with you and help relieve some of the stress in your life. Although loved ones can often be supportive, not all of them know how to be helpful in these types of circumstances. You may feel more comfortable speaking with your doctor, sharing your struggles with a therapist or support group, or speaking to a professional over the phone. Don’t forget, seeking help is (always) a “sign of strength.”

Find Help Now

If you’re battling alcohol abuse or suicidal thoughts, or other crises in your life, it is important to figure out a way to get help. It is never easy to ask for help, but it is truly a sign of strength to do so. Remember that you aren’t alone – many people share similar struggles, and no one suffering from addiction, mental illness, or suicidal thoughts should ever feel ashamed or guilty.

Image via Pixabay by Counselling

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