Father,
I can’t believe that you care so little for me, that you would be intentionally hurtful. So I am going to make my feelings clear in hopes of repairing a relationship between us that I see to be gravely damaged.
I understand why you dislike my husband. I even understand your reasons, while I don’t personally agree with them. He has hurt your pride and your pride is a very delicate thing. I have come to understand that about you. Never mind that he loves me and cares for me unlike any other man could. I am a challenge to be around, no one, least of all me, would argue that claim. But that man you so despise puts up with my utter bullshit faithfully like I believe in my heart no one else could. Furthermore he has given me 3 amazing children that you yourself get to be a proud grandfather to. He has done more to raise them than I ever could, as I myself am no more than a child in many ways. He is the true and steadfast foundation my family is built on.
But you choose to hate him. You choose to hate him because of the struggles we all went through trying to keep a household together. You choose to hate him because you two didn’t always see eye to eye.
So fine. Hate him. But your hatred of that man becomes inexcusable when you can’t swallow you fragile pride and be around him for the sake of those you claim to love. You can’t tolerate to be in the same home as him for a few measly hours so that the family can be together for not just Thanksgiving, but my birthday. My birthday that I was looking forward to spending with my family.
Part of me wants to demand you be there. For the sake of your daughter and your grandchildren whom love you dearly. But then I reflect further and realize that if you were to come, you’d spend so much time letting your hatred consume you that would in fact spend that time pouting like a child who doesn’t get their way. A child who didn’t get their way 4+ years ago, but is still holding a grudge.
At least I know where I get my personal immaturity from. I come by it naturally.
Only I strive to fix relationships where you don’t seem to care who you hurt and why.
So fine. Be that way. Stay home for Thanksgiving and my birthday. Spend your Christmas in your room instead of in my home as well. For it’s better than spending an hour trying to find you as your pout walks you out my door and down the street when you can no longer bare to be around the father of your Grandchildren. When you can no longer bare to be around the man whom loves me unconditionally.
You can get over your stupid pride, accept my husband as a member of your family, and spend the holidays with your family, or you can stay home and alone. But please know that from here on out if you expect any sort of relationship with me, then you need to mend some fences with my husband.