Archive for August, 2015

Isolation Part 1

Posted August 3, 2015 By kmarrs

Borderline Personality Disorder and FriendshipMaybe my story is a story of loneliness. I guess maybe that’s always been my story; one of deep isolation. I don’t know if I’m really that hard to be around, or just too awkward to make friends.

You’ll recall that recently I lost my closest friend due to a slight disagreement on the value of black people. Now my story may be of isolation, but it’s also one of tolerance. I find value in all human beings equally no matter what. Actions of the individual alone are what change the acceptance for that individual. Basically love, or at least tolerate, and be loved in return. Harm none and find your spot in my heart.

It’s a wonder I have no friends.

This leaves me with, aside for a few random acquaintances, Dez and Sarah, my two lovely and beautiful lesbian friends. I point out lesbian because they are a couple and basically come as a set. Which is twice as much win, so I’m not complaining. This duo or complete set shows up at my door once a month and we have a dinner party. Sometimes the theme is fancy party, sometimes it’s pajamas and pizza, but it’s always themed and it’s always great fun.

Dez and Sarah are great friends, but they are basically once a month friends. Unless something major comes up, I only really talk to them once a month at the dinner parties and not much in between unless we’re determining theme or date, which is fine. They are perfect for this and I love my monthly catch up with the girls.

But they are it. They are all I have. And being all I have, they are not enough. I’m left with 29-30 other days of the month in isolation. No one. Nothing. Alone.

To Be Continued

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