Archive for February, 2015

Parenting with BPDYou are absolutely correct! I do! Why?

  1. I like and cherish the idea of showcasing that we, those who have BPD, can be normal parents.  Our kids typically won’t be victims of abuse/neglect/lack of validation/ shit like those who have BPD.  If anything we’re abnormally caring when it comes to our kids because we want to give them what we lacked.  I’ve read and seen a lot of examples where BPD mothers made the best mothers.  This isn’t always the case.  However, I would like to point out that in most cases, a person with BPD didn’t have a mother with BPD, and yet many still suffered abuse/neglect/etc.  Horrible mothers come from all categories.
  2. I can’t speak for the group, but Pat and I at least, as patients of mental health, are twice as diligent in the mental health of our own kids.  In our case, Luke ended up diagnosed as ADHD at a very young age.  Not because Patrick and I couldn’t handle a little energy, but because he was a danger to himself he was so hyper active.  Because he couldn’t sit down long enough to reach his full potential.  The kid, at 3, multiplied 4 and 2 and got 8, when he couldn’t consistently count to 8.  Also a sign that he’s on the autism spectrum somewhere; but guess what, many agree that ADHD is on the spectrum.  Frankly, I can’t tell you how many times different health care professions have told Pat and I that we are especially diligent and well-informed in the care of our kids; therapists and pediatricians alike.  We don’t mess around.  We know what happens when you miss the signs; and we know all the signs.  (We live them.  Between Pat and I we have most of the major diagnoses covered either directly or in our families.)

Those with BPD can make great and fantastic and loving and validating parents.  Everything our parent typically aren’t.  So for all the horror stories you’ll hear, I need to speak louder and Louder and LOUDER to get across that they aren’t the rule.  But then, the media only tells you about the mothers who stick their kid in the microwave our drowned all 4 in the bathtub.  The mother who helps at bake sales and never misses a soccer game, isn’t news.

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20 Movies Turning 20 In 2015

Posted February 22, 2015 By kmarrs

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Holy cow am I getting old!  Head to my feed on BuzzFeed to see the entire list.  Spoiler: It includes Toy Story.

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Raising a BPD DaughterSo we all damn well better give her a round of applause!

Mom,

I have no clue if you still read over here?  I know you were an avid fan for years but as I went quiet in the past year or so, I can imagine you maybe just assumed I’m still quiet.  Either way, happy birthday to you, mom.  I love you.  Thank you so deeply for all the support over the past year and a half.  I know I’ve all but bleed you dry.  It’s been a rough one.

Sorry this present isn’t as awesome as what I gave you last year.

FYI for readers: I gave her tickets to see Phantom of the Opera live.  There was no beating that.

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Cats and porn. What can go wrong with that?  Find out the true scoop over at, you guessed it, Buzzfeed!  And if you like the post, it could use some love.  I’m still aiming to get cat power.

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hope love and Borderline personality disorder (BPD)Dear You,

I wrote you a letter Monday.  It went into Tuesday’s post.  I figure you are getting it about now and my stomach is sour thinking about it.  it’s just nerves as I don’t know what you’ll say or think.  I mean, I poured all of my heart and soul into it just so that you could know all my cards.  I held nothing back at all.  I then removed you number from my phone and burned the piece of paper it was on.  Not in trying to be rid of you.  But so that I had no choice but hold back and speak first.  I think that will be what’s healthiest.  And what’s fair to me.  It gives you as long as you need to think.  I know you might read this.  I know you have the blog address now.  I’m still trying to pretend you don’t.  But I had to put my fear into words.  I am afraid.  I’m so scared to lose you forever as is one of the possible outcomes of that letter.  But should that be the case, at least I’ll have closure.  Anything is better than the not knowing and insecurities of the past year plus.  I can’t do that anymore.  You are not some douche of a man jerking me around.  I know that.  But you are still…  You’re leaving my hanging, my sweet friend.  Sweet sweet friend.  Stop worrying about whether you’re going to maybe sleep with me and if that’s what I want.  Just worry and think about if we can simply hang out.  See a movie.  Go to dinner.  Talk over drinks.  Talk.  Talk.  Talk some more.  My sweet friend.  I’d enjoy your body, sure.  But I need your words.

Yours, Me

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13 Cats That Can Explain Why We Love Them So Much

Posted February 18, 2015 By kmarrs

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These cats can explain our affection. (Despite their sassiness. And sometimes because.)

Go take a peek at our furry and fuzzy friends over at my post on BuzzFeed!

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