The Peanut Butter Diet

OMG ScaleOk.  First of all can we all agree not to make any major dietary changes, especially weird ones, without first consulting your doctor?  I don’t need people doing this, getting sick, and then blaming me.  What I’m about to describe I’m doing in moderation, while also being sure to get in all the essential nutrients and vitamins.  Ok?  Don’t be dumb.  Cookies taste a hell of a lot better than skinny feels.  M’Kay?

That said, my body was telling me something was wrong.  And I mean beyond the 20 pound weight gain over the past couple months.  I’m well aware that I can thank my love of baked breakfast sweets and Danish Butter Cookies.  I know I can thank my inability to eat anything in moderation.

However, for a while now I have not been able to eat much of anything without almost immediately having to emergency poop.  Pop was making it worse.

Now, I cut out pop a week or two ago.  Granted, I was still allowing myself 1 a day when I could get it, but otherwise I’ve been drinking a lot more water.  It use to be all pop no water.  Then some pop, some water.  Then mostly water but some pop.  However I now think I have the ratio to damn near 100% pop. (Damn near because we all know I’ll have my moments.)  I’m trying to rely on coffee for my caffeine needs.  I’m also trying to get myself off caffeine in general.  It seems to make my emergency poop.

Ok so this advice I want you to actually consider following because it is not at all crazy and is very healthy.

My main beef with water is that it is tasteless and boring.  So recently I’ve bought some mint leaves from the store.  I add that into the cold water and it just adds this level of crisp.  You can also shoot in some lemon juice.  How much you ask?  Well, my tap water is actually pretty good and I don’t like too much mint.  So I make mine ahead in an ice tea pitcher and let the mint just sit.  Then I add more and more water as needed.  When it’s at its strongest I add tons of ice to the cup.  At its weakest, I add in more mint.  There really is no wrong answer here.  This is all on your taste preference.

The rest is a crazy fad diet style thing.

Alright.  So I’m about to start an anti-psychotic that will make it near impossible for me to lose weight.  So I decided I needed to do something to give myself a little extra push in the right direction.

I have been, as of late, craving peanut butter and jelly sandwiches like it’s no one’s business.  However, the amount of bread I consume, just to sit on my ass, explains why half my wardrobe doesn’t fit.  The jelly isn’t awesome for me either.  Now, all of this is great in moderation, don’t get me wrong.  But I wasn’t moderating effectively.

However, during a trial and error process, I happened to discover that a tablespoon or 2 of peanut butter kills my heart burn.  It also doesn’t trigger emergency poop, like most everything else does.

I thought it over and realized peanut butter is also a great source of protein, which I need to be pushing.

No, I’m not going to live on just peanut butter at any point.

However, 2 days a week (Monday and Thursday) I am going to put myself on a 24 hour Peanut butter fast.  I’ve officially been through 2 days of it and I can honestly say it works.  I allow myself as much peanut butter as I need in order to not feel hungry, but as I’m not THAT into peanut butter, I don’t over eat it.  I also back it with plenty of water.  So on Monday and Thursday that’s all I consume.  As much peanut butter and water and I want.

The rest of the days I eat whatever I want, with the mindset of not making the peanut butter diet pointless.  On these days I make sure I get enough veggies and other nutrients I miss out on when Monday and Thursday come around.  I also make sure to keep and eye on portion control.  Because if 3 tablespoons of peanut butter can get me from starving to comfortable, then reason says that should hold for other things as well.

Is it working?  Well, I’ve started losing weight.  And when I’m high on peanut butter intake my stools calm down to once or twice a day and are of a decent consistency.

I do need to pick a healthier peanut butter as the one we had on hand has a ton of added sugar, but I’ll get there.


I’m also exercising.  4 days a week.  A mix of legs, arms, abs, and basic torso stretching.  You can tell by the way I haven’t been able to walk since Saturday.  At least I have my cane.  I suppose this is the best reason to need it.

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