It moving to my chest was to be expected. For me. Everything moves to my chest. I have a great chest, after all.
But what I woke up to last Tuesday, the day before my 10-year-anniversary, was a bit much.
I woke up for my shower at about 6. When I got out and went to lie back down to snooze and meditate, and just procrastinate on being awake (A vital part of my wake-up routine, I schedule it in. This is why I have 4 different alarms spread between nearly 2 hours every work morning.) I realized I couldn’t shut my eyes, either one, without an intense burning sensation. It was like the sand paper was covered in acid, as it sanded my eyeballs smooth. I got a wet washcloth and pressed it hard over my shut eyes and that allowed me to keep them closed. 45 minutes later, I was fantastic and good-to-go. Aside from the sinus crud.
As the morning progressed, I noticed my eyes were burning, and I kept losing vision. In both eyes. I could blink it back, but my vision kept blurring and getting foggy.
Granted, the foggy made sense when I looked in the mirror over my lunch break and observed the layer of snot covering both eyeballs. Also, the pink and swollen.
Now, I don’t exactly have a ton of experience with pink eye. I never got it as a child that I know of. Only my middle little has had it of my 3, and his was so bad his eye was swollen shut.
But while I’m no genius and only play a doctor on the internet, if the eye oozes, you get thee to an eye doctor! Thank nacho cheese god (a minor god… or major depending on your love of the cheese) for them being able to get me in same day, no notice.
Sure enough. Thank sweet baby Buddha that it was bacterial pink eye and not viral. I was only contagious if my eyeball made out with other eyeballs. Totally killed its plans for the night but I kept it in isolation. In my head. (That joke was officially taken too far. I’m sorry. Not sorry enough to take it down, mind you. But sorry enough to apologize.)
I’m a baby when it comes to my eyes and putting stuff in them. Contacts? No thanks. The puff of air during the eye exam? First time in my life I consented, and only because I had a double eye infection. Eye drops? Only if I’m dying at it will be my only savior.
Well, guess what. Pink eye? I was counting the minutes until my next eye drop dose. Oh, the sweet and instant relief. Oh glory to the good stuff!
Granted, I did confirm I could close my eyes, drop it in the corner, and then blink it into place. The good doctor suggested an extra drop each dose, then ordered me a slightly larger bottle.
So yes, for my anniversary date, I was one hell of a hot mess. We went to dinner and then played pool, with maximum strength sinus meds and eye meds in tow.
I was bringing sexy back!
Apparently the theme for this anniversary.
Because later that night, I brought sexy back.
And I ain’t referring to eyeball snot. *wink*