You Can Find Me Here And Here But Not There

I am leaving Facebook by the end of the month.  I am giving as much warning as possible because I will have people mad about losing access to stories about the kids.  Not to mention that the Facebook page for this site won’t exist.

I am still all over the internet, just no longer am I going to be all over Facebook.  We all know they have no ethics and are happy to sell our information.  And I’m done with it.  I’m also done with a few other aspects and dramas that on their own weren’t enough to make me leave, but all piled together and paired with decisions Facebook made, has made it more than enough.  ENOUGH.

Look.  I don’t want this to be some dramatic thing.  I think giving notice is drama enough.  I feel like I’m asking for attention or something.  In reality I know last time I left I didn’t give notice and got dragged back.  I’m not letting that happen this time.

I am all over the internet and only one of these places involves a secret identity. I am not hard to find and not hard to keep in touch with if effort is put into it.

Those if you who are:
This blog will be maintained. I will try to revive the kid’s blogs for their cuteness and stories. I’m on twitter. I’m on G+. I have two email addresses. You can follow my pintrest pins. I have at least two tumblrs.

All of my social media links can be found above perma linked from this site.  I will be adding links to the kid’s sites somewhere on here also as a perma link.  I’m making the ability to stay in touch with everyone as simple as I can, short of actually staying on Facebook.

But to be honest, while you do as you please and it’s none of my never mind, I’m really wondering why more people haven’t left already.

I’m saying I’m waiting until the 1st so that everyone has a chance to see this (both here and actually on Facebook) and request any needed links or phone numbers.  And that is the plan.  But we’ll see.  It is highly possible that something political, racist, sexist, or otherwise bigoted will bring me to the “delete account” button faster than planned.

Life List 151-200

This list is no where near it’s end but my OCD drive to organize is kicking in.  As such, this will be my last actual post regarding what I hope to accomplish in my life.  However, as I sort my goals into categories, I will keep the link in the top right, also found here, up-to-date.  I am happy to share the list, it will just no longer be a simple 1-1983 like I’ve been working on for the last year.  So here you go, in no certain order which is in dire need of a change, are items 151-200 on my bucket list.

151. Take a Zumba Class
152. Get decent at Zumba
153. Take a Latin Dance class
154. Get decent at Latin Dance
155. Take a Yoga class
156. Get decent at Yoga
157. Do 100 push-ups
158. Make it to the top of a climbing wall (December 17, 2012)
159. Successfully climb something made by nature
160. Read 1000 books as an adult
161. Read 2000 books as an adult
162. Have a spa day – The works
163. Own an Orchid
164. Keep it alive
165. Without help
166. Star at a 5 Star hotel
167. After a 5 star dinner
168. Celebrate my 50th wedding anniversary
169. Go on a ghost tour (Spring break 2002 – New Orleans)
170. Own purple suede shoes
171. Own a pair of heels that cost at least 150$
172. Learn to walk in stilettos
173. Become a better photographer
174. Photograph a wedding as the official photographer (October 2010)
175. Photograph the wedding of someone I’m not related to
176. Watch a spacecraft launch live and in person
177. Go to the top of the Eiffel Tower
178. Relearn how to sew and use the skill as an adult
179. Ride a train across Europe
180. Kiss the Blarney Stone
181. Learn how to knit
182. Knit a blanket
183. Learn how to crochet more than just a single rope
184. Crochet a blanket
185. Learn how to quilt
186. Quilt a blanket
187. Ride in a hot air balloon
188. Sleep in a castle
189. Learn to scuba dive
190. Scuba dive in the Caribbean
191. Earn over 100,000 in one year
192. Earn over 120,000 in one year
193. Have a net worth of 1,000,000
194. Tour the landmarks of this nations birth and history
195. See Washington DC as an adult
196. Read the Bible all the way through
197. Read the Koran all the way through
198. Read the Tao-Te-Ching all the way through
199. Read the Torah all the way through
200. Read The Book of Mormon all the way through

Life List 101-150

Bucket list, life list, call it what you will.  Here are items number 101-150.  And as always, you can see the entire list as completed thus far, including what I’ve managed to check off the list as completed can be found here.

101. See the Colosseum of Rome
102. See the Leaning Tower of Pisa
103. See the Taj Mahal
104. See the Great Barrier Reef
105. Take a snorkeling lesson while there
106. Visit Victoria Falls
107. Attend Mardi Gras in New Orleans
108. Go on a road trip
109. Attend New Year’s in Time Square
110. Ring in the New Year in New Zealand – As close to the international date line as I care to get
111. Learn to appreciate New Year’s first
112. Experience Zero Gravity
113. Go horseback riding on the beach or into the sunset
114. Ride a camel
115. Ride an elephant
116. Give an elephant a bath/shower
117. Go parasailing
118. Have a bench, fountain, or tree dedicated in my name
119. Before I pass so I can visit it
120. Learn how to bake (Summer and Fall of 2012)
121. Learn how to bake from scratch (Fall and Winter 2012 into 2013)
122. Learn common and banking words in sign language
123. Ride in a limousine (Summer 1995ish – OK, don’t remember exact year)
124. Own a Mustang Convertible
125. Have sex in the rain
126. Get a tattoo for my family
127. Take Samantha to get her owl tattoo or something she holds dear to represent the strong women in her life
128. Go a day complaint free
129. Go a week complaint free
130. Go a month complaint free
131. Have my blog mentioned on a radio show
132. Be a guest on a radio show
133. Have my blog mentioned on a TV show
134. Be a guest on a TV show
135. Be considered an expert in something
136. By someone who has the right to call me such
137. Go to a concert
138. Go to the Opera
139. Go to the ballet (2007 – Sleeping Beauty)
140. See the Nutcracker
141. See Swan Lake
142. See Wicked
143. Pick strawberries
144. Get down to 200 pounds
145. Get down to 175 pounds
146. Get down to 150 pounds
147. Run a 5K
148. Run a 10K
149. Run a half marathon
150. Run a marathon

Life List 51-100

Anyone who has been reading me since last March, might remember I’m working on building, and completing the activities on, a life list.  Being legally insane, I’ve decided that since I was born in 1983, I wanted a life list of 1983 items, keeping in mind that I am with reality enough to go ahead and include some amazing things I’ve already done.

Bucket list, life list, call it what you will.  Here are items number 51-100.

51. Get a tattoo
52. Make Pi Day parties an annual tradition
53. Build a legacy
54. Have an inheritance for my children
55. Survive the zombie apocalypse
56. Pick 3 more “holidays” to throw parties for – 1 for each season
56.1. March 14 – Pi Day Pie Party
56.2. May the 4th – Star Wars Party
56.3. September 19 – International Talk Like A Pirate Day Party
56.4. December – To be decided between November and January
57. Take a deep breath and have fun. Because if I’m not having fun, I’m doing it wrong.
58. See Van Gogh’s Starry Night in person
59. Own a pair of glasses for every day of the week
60. Own a scarf for every day of the month
61. Own a dress for every color in the rainbow
62. Be crawled on and lovingly mauled by at least a half dozen puppies at once
63. See a play in the globe theater
64. Learn to punch through a board
65. Take some form of dance lessons with Pat so he and I can perform when we renew vows
66. Poop on a purple potty.
67. Ride a train from the West Coast to the East Coast.
68. Climb a rock wall
69. Rappel down the side of a skyscraper
70. Accomplish my Pop Culture Musts List
71. Never stop adding to my Pop Culture Musts List
72. Go kayaking
73. Become good at kayaking
74. Buy mom a designer purse
75. Have a savings account with an actual balance that is maintained and added to weekly
76. Complete the weekly savings challenge
77. See a show on Broadway
78. Zipline
79. Go whitewater rafting
80. Get off government assistance
81. Accomplish an advanced degree
82. Have at least a basic understanding of physics
83. Read all the books on the BBC’s Top 100 Books list
84. Learn to fly a plane
85. Visit Niagara Falls
86. Visit the Hoover Dam
87. Visit the Grand Canyon
88. Take my kids to Disney
89. Take my Grandkids to Disney
90. Go on a cruise
91. See the Great Pyramid of Giza
92. See the Hanging Garden of Babylon
93. See the Statue of Zeus at Olympia
94. See the Temple of Artemis at Ephesus
95. See the Mausoleum at Halicarnassus
96. See the Colossus of Rhodes
97. See the Lighthouse of Alexandria
98. Walk the wall of China beginning to end.
99. Visit Stonehenge
100. Camp at Stonehenge

Want to see the life list in full up to this point as well as what I’ve accomplished on it?  Visit here and take a peek!  Hint, I’ve crossed a few things off the list!

Don’t Believe In Resolutions

My disinterest in New Years has been noted here before.  Usually with angst.  But as angst clears, stable reigns, and my disinterest continues, I can only conclude that it’s just not my holiday.  As such my drive to do an epic post recapping the last year just isn’t there.  And I loath resolutions.  I suppose it’s because most resolutions I see people make, end up being broken.

I suppose the problem with resolutions is that they are fueled by the fire of having to buy a new calendar.  People seem to think that this purchase will be the inspiration needed to change the core of their being.  And to make it all the more notable, they decided that they are going to change many things at once.  They are going to start a diet, join the gym, and stop smoking all on the same day.  The things is?  Join the gym and the rest might well follow.  After all, working out 1-3+ times a week makes you actually want to not put the time and sweat to waste.  Eating right, can fuel a desire to work out.  You’re denying yourself cake but you still have flabby arms, might as well do something about them too.  But start all 3 on the same day and you’ll burn out in a blaze a glory at the first aerobics class inspired nicotine and sweet tooth craving.  Funny how that works.

So, it is safe to say, I don’t make the false promises to myself or anyone that others call a resolution.

Doesn’t mean 2013 won’t bring me change.

While we may not be resolving to completely change our diets, Pat and I are at least steering it to consistency.  Inspired by both a need to fix Pat’s stomach issues, and regulate our food budget, we have put together a meal plan.  I almost added “of sorts” to the end of that, but no, it’s actually very specific.  Even with allowing 2 set days a week to be “dude fuck the menu” nights, each night for the next month is set.  Tuesdays will feature red meat.  Wednesdays are vegetarian featuring salads or pancakes.  Thursdays are homemade soup or rice based.  Fridays are pasta, fast and easy after a long day.  Saturdays are chicken whether shaked and baked or covered in sauce.  None of this is designed to be low in carbs or calories.  But it’s preset, will bring us together to the table, and the consistency should do wonders for Pat’s digestive system and our pocket book.  Even if it just means we need to plan to drop 200$ on food out of my pay check mid month.  We have 25-30 meals preplanned.  Some assigned nights, some set as alternatives.  And even if every Friday is pasta, with 4-5 different pasta options, it won’t get old.  Just consistent.

Along with this comes rules.  Not that we spent much of the government’s allotted food budget on crap, from here on out, all ice cream, candy and other goodies come out of my pay checks.  If we can’t afford it from those, we can’t afford it at all.  The only exception being if I can pull it out of my oven after putting it together from scratch.  A bag of powdered sugar/white sugar/flour lasts quite awhile and at 2-3$ a pop, isn’t a budget breaker.  Assuming, of course, I’m only buying them a couple times a year.  We also have a master list of the basic staples that we are sticking too, allotting only for common sense based exceptions, especially in the first few goes.  If I forgot to put bread on the master list when I made it, obviously bead can be bought.  And I might want to remember to add it to the list.  Again, hopefully this will fuel a huge change in our kitchen and our pocket book.

We assume we need to alter things as we go.

I’m also hoping that this consistency will lead to more green things fresh from the ground on the table, and other such tweaks as we go.  Even if it’s just substituting this slightly healthier cut of meat for that one.

Ah the gym.  The holidays prevented me from being as diligent there as I would prefer.  I’ve worked too many Wednesday mornings, and there were a couple set days they were simply closed.  We’ve also had some winter storms that have made the extra miles in the car not worth it, even for the gym.  But when I am able to go and when I’m able to go 3 times a week, I do notice a huge difference in my pain levels.

I haven’t taken anything for pain in about a month.  Give or take a few days.  I didn’t exactly mark my last pain pill in a book.  This isn’t to say I’ve spent the month pain free.  But it has been greatly reduced by working my joints with the weight machines, and the times I have hurt, I’ve resisted the pills (even though 99% of the time they were over the counter crap before anyways) because I know they don’t work well enough to be worth the ulcers they give.  Just ask Pat.  At least now with it being just me, my body, and the evil goodness I do to my body in the gym, I can better track what hurts and what helps that hurt.  Which, by-the-way, is the best motivation there is to make sure I get to the gym.  That and it’s a great way to work out aggression.

Speaking of the gym, I made it back to the climbing gym a couple weeks ago, and while there I made it to the top of a wall.  I’d been close before, but never all the way up.  I almost made it to the top of a second section, but my foot kept needing a hold that it kept slipping from and that unnerved me.  I may not have problems with heights, but I do take serious issue with falling.  I’m not done though.  I will go back and try and try again.  I may not be the next spider man, but it is fun and the pride I get from reaching the top is well worth the bruises.  I’m also excited to get back out in a kayak starting in the spring.  Lisa is still my adventure coach, we’re simply biding our time for the weather to break from the cold and warm enough that we don’t risk frost bite. Kayaking and snow don’t mix.

As far as work goes, since Lisa segued me into that, I’m contemplating a move towards a higher position.  I don’t really want to discuss the position yet.  I’m not sure I’m going to make the move so I don’t want to start a whole “good luck omg that would be awesome blah blah blahathon” just yet.  In a lot of ways, yes it would a good step towards my future, but it will also complicate some other areas.  It’s six of one and a half dozen of the other.  That being said, it is one of two of the next logical, linear steps in my career progression, so I imagine I’ll put in the application tomorrow.  Even then, there is no guarantees I’ll get the position.  I may be deemed not ready.  And I’ll be fine with that.  I don’t want to be given a position they don’t know if I’m ready for, just to prove I’m not ready and flame out in a fireball of having lost the bank a few grand.  If holding me back longer to gather more experience allows me to get it next time and hold onto it, and my job in general, then I’ll defer to their judgment and not begrudge it.

I also have to keep in mind I start school on April 29th.  Even going part time, the increase in stress at work paired with starting school may not be awesome.  I know I could do it and be fabulous if I pushed myself, but with me being comfortable enough where I’m at, I’m not being pushed by this drive for MORE POWER.  So I can take my time and ease myself into school without having to ease myself into a promotion at the same time.  Also?  Stable mental health is a beautiful thing.

But again, this is still a good, logical, eventually needed anyway, step in my progression at work, so I’m not going to not try for it.  I’m just also not going to stress over what happens if I don’t get it.  If I don’t get it, the only thing that will happen is that things will stay the same.  And with things being pretty damn good as they are now, I’m OK with that.

Heh.  I make it sound like I don’t want this promotion.  I actually do.  Just a different kind of want.  This isn’t a fire driven by obsession.  It’s a fire driven by a general desire to better myself.  Both burn bright, just different.  Both will have me apply, one will just leave me OK if I’m deemed not ready.  That is a good spot to be in.

I do, indeed, start school in a little less than 4 months.  Which seems so far off yet really isn’t.  Not the way time is flying.  I’ve already been given credit for the classes I took at CSCC.  I have one writing based (heh) test to take, and then I’ll be ready to start scheduling.  I also need to fill out my financial aid paperwork, but I can’t do that until February.  The placement test I can take much sooner.  I just have to see if I can find a proctor to take it at the local library with, or if I have to go downtown instead.  I’d prefer to avoid that as much as possible.

I’m fairly concrete that I’m working towards the business economics major.  It’s that or business management.  However, economics will cover the important part of the management courses, but management only dabbles into the economics.  I’m also looking forward to the economics.  Call me crazy… though I do believe the primary topic of this site did so for you.  I suppose I’m a bit of a numbers geek.  I also suppose that’s why I wanted a bank job/career.  Still heart broken that none of my coworkers love math as much as I do.  Go figure.  Gives me the self boost when my boss comes to me to solve a math equation for her for one of many reports.  To her well deserved defense, she was having an off day.

I’m diving into building my own personal and social life.  Defining Karen.  With the holiday season behind us, Lisa and I are renewing our commitment to our weekly girl’s nights.  Stacy and I are back at our twice a month plans.  And in my free-time, I’m devouring books and TV online.  Game of Thrones is a long but amazing read. Sheldon Cooper is a doof.  Also possibly my hero.  I’m sick and twisted that way.  I have, btw, combined the two (reading and BBT) and I have a good dozen books waiting to be read that promise to teach me some physics.  I’ve always been curious, Big Bang was just the final push.  Ironically, none of the books will cover string theory.  Oh well, they will be a start.  But I have about Twenty-five library books, and one borrowed from a friend, waiting to be read, so really how I have time to write out this post is beyond me.  Also, that’s probably the reason you haven’t seen me much.  Books and the Big Bang.

That and I’ve been too stable to have any drama to blog about.  Woe is me?  Yep.  I was put on, by choice, an anti-depressant a few months back to make sure the change of season didn’t knock me off my stable platform, but last month, when I went in and asked if I could be put on something I could take in the evening because I could never remember to take them at in the morning… well long story short I wasn’t taking it often enough to really be able to say I was on anything and I was still OK, so instead of messing around with a whole new med, I’m just back to a planned not being on anything.

FYI, what I was on gave a norepinephrine boost and I can’t have that boost after about 11AM if I ever wanted to get sleep at a decent hour.  I’m better at remembering meds well into the evening though.  That is the only part of my day that is consistent 95% of the time.  The morning varies too much based on when I go into work, if Luke has school, etc etc etc.  Some days I’m at work at 9:30, some days I’m at the gym at 9:30, and yet others I’m in bed or just getting ready for the day at 9:30.  And there is no use in trying to get me to remember anything before 9:30.  Or really, noon.  But I’m home almost every evening at 8:30 and I conveniently already have an alarm going off.

Any moods or emotions I am going through, other than happy, are too firmly based on logical reactions to what life hands me.  And most of that can be managed through me reading and regular exercise.  Weights and running work out my aggression and yoga or stretching work out my stress.  Reading is an escape based distraction.

I think, it’s not as much that my brain chemistry has changed, but more that I’ve better learned how to avoid certain situations and the skills needed to cope with what I can’t avoid.  After ten years together, Pat and I have learned each other and our marriage well enough to avoid major, yet stupid, fights.  But you can’t live with someone and never argue, so I also know how to better cope when they do crop up.  Whether it’s picking my battles, walking away till things settle, or whatever.  It helps that after ten years, there is a little less to fight about, and a bigger desire to not let something stupid set us apart.  And while that’s just one example of many, there you have it.

I’ve grown.

And resolution or not, I hope to continue that growth through the next calendar.  No set number based goals.  I’ll just wander down this path I’m on looking forward to the opportunities that come from it, and the growth that is sure to happen along the way.

And yes.  Happy New Year’s.