5 Years

Right now, after 9 really long, hard years, things are finally really starting to look brighter.  It’s been a constant battle to be where we are and even so, there is much room to improve.  So while I gladly accept what progress we’ve made, here is what I would like to see happen in 5 years.

In 5 years, we hope to be where we were aiming for all along.

In 5 years, our youngest will be on a bus headed to school each morning, and not returning until that afternoon.  A fact I’m in denial about because OMG MAH BABY but, this will allow Pat those hours to do what he wants to do.  Instead of putting full energy into kids, he will be able to focus on home more like he wants.  (He does awesome I want to add.  There is still only so much he can do.  The kids are the primary focus.  As they should be.)

In 5 years, with the kids gone during the day, Pat can focus on writing.  For years he’s wanted to start and work on a project.  He’ll have that chance.  The home can wait. ;)

In 5 years, we will be in our home.  However this current house hunt, and whose name the loan is in turns out, we will have taken it over by then.  Or gotten a different place fully in our name start to finish.  We will have properly paid back Jesse whatever we end up owing him from this process.  And we will be putting money towards our mortgage, not someone else’s.  Jesse is wonderful, awesome, beyond words.  But I don’t want to be indebted to him for the life span of a 30 year loan.  I will be indebted to him soul to soul for eternity, but I don’t choose for money to be involved longer than is necessary.  We could not do this for another 5 years without him.  We need to do it now.  He is graciously making it happen.  I will never stop being thankful.  In 5 years, things can be switched around and we’ll be, not even because there is that soul debt, but financially I hope to be square.  Besides, then he can turn around, buy yet another house, and make an investment killing.

In 5 years, I will be somewhere in my career.  I can’t say where because my path is unclear, but I don’t see that as a bad thing.  An opportunity to take a not previously known path will appear in the next few years, I will take a chance, and it will be glorious.  But I won’t know that path until I reach it.  And I am enjoying the stroll along the way.  There are lots of violets along side this trail.

In 5 years, school will be further along.  Honestly?  I don’t hope to have much beyond half a year’s worth done.  I don’t choose to rush it because I’m enjoying my kids while I can and focusing on work.  But I’ll get there.  And in 5 years I will be further along.  I have to be further along.  At the very least, I hope to have my master plan further defined.  2-year business management followed by a 4-year economics is still looking mighty grand, but how long ago was it that I was planning photography? Then, math/English/combo shot?  Then psychology?  And while all of those still sounds so perfect for my spirit and feeding my soul, I have to look at what will pay the bills, and what I can finish before I retire, not after.(Economics would do that AND still feed my soul.)  So for now the plan is the 2-year management followed by the 4-year economics.  But, 5 years from now is a ways away.

In 5 years, this diagnosis bull-shit with my boys will be out of the way.  Or at least for this stage of their life.  I don’t expect perfection, I just want a better family dynamic and better learning and growing opportunities for them.

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