Sidekick Application

Stole this.

Name: __________________________

Special Skills: _____________________________________________________

Thoughts on Bacon: ________________________________________________

Willingness to wear a unitard: ____________________________

Are leggings pants? (Circle one)     Yes      No    What are leggings?

Favorite snacks: ________________________________________________

Do you own your own cape? __________________

How high can you jump? ____________________

Preferred coffee vendor: (Circle one)      Starbucks    Dunkin Donuts    Carribou   Seattle’s Best     Intelligentsia     Lavazza     Local Shop

Do you have your own facebook/twitter/google+ account? _____________________

Do you currently use it for evil? (Circle one)    Yes    No    Define evil

Weapon of choice: __________________________________

The Cat Who Moved In

Monday, a stray cat of about 4-6 months in age, randomly followed my 8yo home from the bus stop.  And by followed him home, I mean when the 8yo walked in the back door, so did the cat.  Then the cat made himself at home like he’d been here all along.  We’re just really unobservant, silly humans that we are.

I came home to find said cat being held by a guilty looking husband.  Who informed me the only hesitation was that it was a male and males spray.  But oh btw everyone was already in love, what did we want to do?

We proceeded to “debate” the issue for awhile.  When finally, I gave Pat a funny look and asked him the cat’s name.

Theodore.  Teddy for short.  Named for Teddy Roosevelt due to his whisker structure.

So, the debate, it seems, was pretty much just a formality.  The cat wasn’t going anywhere.

Luckily, I should be getting my tax return in February, so we can have him neutered before he reached the age of the spray.

So.  Theo, or teddy, has captured our home.  And our hearts.

See Mr Theo is a bit of a cuddle bug.  He is as starved for affection as he was for food.  And in his quest for affection he pays no mind to personal space or boundaries.  Which, I suppose I should have seen coming by the way in which he moved (himself) in.

He also, likes to beg for food from those who have it.  Which I’d be really annoyed with, except he spent lord knows how long eating out of a dumpster and chasing squirrels hoping for some extra protein.  So, I get it.  He’s known hunger.  It’s plain as day looking at him.  And so now, he has to guarantee his next meal.  He is also down right willing to take that meal right out of any hand that offers.  Also, he isn’t a picky eater.  He likes, that we have found so far: chicken, turkey, American cheese, cooked carrots, and green beans.  He doesn’t like corn though.  Just so you know.

Also, don’t turn your back on your food.  Last night he stuck his head in my, thankfully empty, glass.  And when he was done licking the sides, he discovered his head was stuck.  Yes he was rescued.  Yes he is fine.  No, I don’t have pictures.

So.  Uh.  Welcome home Theodore?  At least you are a sweetie!

And That Is The Story Of How I Became Grateful I Maybe Have Fungus Growing In My Cleavage

So at one point, I came to realize that this weird, redish, raised splotch between my “girls” might be ring worm.  At which point I semi-panicked because worms, in my skin, between my boobs?  Ew!

Then I used the Google and learned ring worm isn’t actually worms, but a fungus that grows on the human body.

And that is really, the only possible sequence of events that could lead a girl to being grateful she is possibly growing fungus in her cleavage.

Things I Would Hoard If I Were A Hoarder

Blame the twitter for this.

  1. Empty pill bottles
  2. Empty honey nut cheerio boxes: sorted according to size
  3. Empty pop cans.  But only Sunkist and A&W
  4. Lists
  5. Empty Easter eggs
  6. Bottles of lotion, empty and otherwise
  7. Never used make-up and nail polish
  8. Used up sharpie markers
  9. Right shoes, with the left ones nowhere in sight
  10. Broken children’s toys

Religion vs Religion

I find it remarkable evident of the cultures surrounding religions, that there are numerous photos of the Dalai Lama walking through the streets, holding hands with every day people and monks alike.  But the photos of the Pope going through the streets involve bullet proof cars.  I’m going to hold back on actual comments about this, but it does reinforce my thoughts that perhaps Buddhism is after all the path for me.