I’m not dying.  But I’m not pain free.  I’m somewhere between with kind of wanting to sleep through all this but unable to.  Mostly because I can only seem to sleep for 2-4 hours at a time.  I’m functional enough to make PB&J sandwiches for the 3yo, but not taking near full responsibility for anyone but maybe myself.

I’m not feeling any pain I should not be feeling.  So it isn’t like anything went wrong.  It’s just what it is.  The incision sites are sore and the O2 bubbles from being inflated or whatever are doing their thing.  I was warned.  My throat is finally recovering from the air tube.  The taste of being put under is finally leaving my mouth.

I have an ok appetite.  I’m not eating a lot in one sitting, but I’m eating through the day as the desire hits.  I’m not nauseous which is a blessing.

So that’s one more thing the pain meds aren’t doing, the first and primary being anything for the pain.  Well, 2 at once is doing better than just the 1 which is better than none at all.  I was just hoping for something.  I dunno, either loopy enough to not care, or unable to to stay awake so I could sleep through it.

I never did call my doctor to ask for anything different.  I think I’m on a just deal with it path.  I’m not in excruciating pain.  I’m just in pain.  And I’ve always been in pain.  So really, this isn’t anything new.  In this case, I know it will actually go away soon enough so I don’t see the sense in worrying about it.  Though if I’m in really bad shape tomorrow, I can elect to make the call then.

Ok, so.  The statistics have female sterilization at a .2% risk of failure.  Which some people just seem to LOVE pointing out to a woman who has just been sliced open to be sterilized.  Learn timing people.  I know nothing besides abstinence or a hysterectomy is 100% but could we maybe not point that out every 5 minutes when I’m fresh from the surgery?  I have a license to stab atm.

So yes, there is a .2% chance I could still get pregnant.  Do I really want that to happen?  No.  I wouldn’t have gotten this surgery if I did.  But, if a baby can get past those odds, then I’m declaring it meant to be.  And while, I never ever want to be pregnant again, it’s not fully because I don’t want another baby.  I don’t think it would be responsible and I don’t want to do the whole 9 months thing ever again.  But I love my babies and I would love another just as much as I love the first 3.  So we would welcome it with open arms.

I’m just hoping to not to be put in that position.

I’d rather foster or adopt a child that needs a family than birth my own again.  So should I get the baby fever and we be in the position where it isn’t the dumbest thing ever.  We’ll see about that route.