Haven’t really brought this up because I was too distracted by things that hurt, but…

30 week OBGYN appointment today. I weighed in at 249. Which is a pound or 2 less than the same exact scale weighed me in at… my 20 weeks appointment. Yeah. Which has me at almost the exact weight of my 16 week appointment.

The thing is I keep gaining and losing the same 4 pounds. I’m stuck between 248 and 252. And have been for 14 weeks.

Am I eating?

Yeah?

Am I eating enough for two?

I’m not sure…

I haven’t had the biggest appetite. It also doesn’t help… well… there is this level of indigestion I have never lived through before. And I say this as someone with acid reflux. It’s literally like lumps of food are getting stuck in my esophagus. And I spend the next 12 hours burping them up with such force I almost throw up. If I eat when I’m literally starving, I’m fine. Otherwise HOURS of misery and there is no eating AT ALL in those hours. The whole eating small meals every few hours thing, isn’t solving this.

So I’m eating when I’m hungry and trying to eat well when I’m hungry. But if I’m not hungry, even if I SHOULD be hungry, I can’t eat.

I should NOT be going 12+ hours between meals. I really shouldn’t. (Not a daily thing, but it has happened.)

But yes, I am eating.

I discussed all this with the OBGYN I saw today. He told me as long as I wasn’t dieting or vomiting, and was in fact eating, he wasn’t too worried about it right now. It should also be noted the baby is measuring EXACTLY where she should be which means she is getting everything she needs and if one of us is suffering, it’s me not her. My lab work-ups are coming back good so if I am suffering, it’s not showing.

But I still worry.

I can’t help but realize that while at 20 weeks I was pleased I could still fit in my non-maternity clothes (with the exception of pants but I live in skirts anyways), at 30 weeks, that’s not really a good thing,

At the same time, my belly is very obviously 30 weeks pregnant. The clothes from last summer, while they fit, are hitting me differently. So it’s not like there is no change. I just feel like they shouldn’t be an option at all, at this point.

I’m to the point where I should be expecting to gain 1-2 pounds a week (maybe not quite that much since I started out over weight) and I’m not even close to seeing that happening. *sigh*

So I worry.

As for this meaning I can get to pre-pregnancy weight faster after birth, it should be noted that I plan to start the Geodon before I even leave the hospital, so that probably won’t happen. What this does mean, is that unless I start gaining weight like crazy in the next 7-10 weeks, I’ll most likely be able to fit into most of my pre-pregnancy wardrobe, which is awesome since I won’t be able to afford to replace it. At least not all of it right away.

And honestly, yes I am a big girl (pregnancy aside) but by that point I will have birthed 3 babies and spent YEARS on meds that make weight gain a given. If I can just maintain, I’m happy. I’d rather have the meds than the thin.

Anyone who says otherwise can spend some time on an anti-psychotic and watch THEIR freakin‘ carbs. (Anti-psychotics can make you crave carbs.)