When my schizotypal all but disappeared a couple years back, I figured it was just my anti-psychotic doing its job and well, that was fine. It never fully bothered me, I knew it was just a coping mechanism, but I didn’t regret it being gone.

It took me until literally 15 minutes ago, after roughly 4 months of being off all my meds, to realize it’s still gone.

Maybe it’s because I’m never really alone? “Hello, baby Sammy!”

Is the habit just broken?

Do I no longer need it?


This ‘N’ That

Yeah, so the past week was just a big pile of suck. Lots of hours including 3, 9+ hour shift in a row. And well, I don’t really want to talk about it. I’ve bitched. I’ve moaned. I want to put it behind me.

But I haven’t posted in like 9 days, so I figured I’d post something. So I’m going with the above disclaimer, an announcement, and something trivial.

In case you don’t read the pregnancy blog (don’t blame you, it’s not what you’re here for), follow me on twitter, or have me as a friend on facebook, I figure I should announce this here as well. I know I was going to try to keep the non-mental health related pregnancy crap off this blog, but well, humor me.

Somehow we beat the incredible odds and it seems this third and final addition to the family is indeed a girl. I’ve known since Wednesday, I’ve seen the ultrasound, I’ll believe it in 19ish weeks when the baby is born and sure enough there are no dangly bits. My husband, though, is over the moon. So yea!

Also not mental health related is this:

So I’ve read all the Harry Potter books and I’ve seen all the movie released thus far, and I have to wonder about something in the deadly hollows… In the beginning of the book/movie part 1 when they are rescuing Harry from the house by disguise themselves as him blah blah blah and one of the Weasly twins (hell, even their mother can’t tell them apart) loses an ear to a curse… Ok, here is the thing, if muggle plastic surgery can fix (well replace) that, why can’t magic? And if magic can’t for whatever reason, why not a muggle plastic surgeon? I mean, it’s an ear. That part of the ear, anyways, is mostly cosmetic. Hell, when I was little in the 80’s a knew a boy who was born missing an ear and the doctors took some skin from here and some from there and made him one. I’m not saying it was perfect, but it was an ear. Granted, in the book they do have bigger things to worry about, but with modern magic/medicine, should a missing ear really be on that list?

OR did they actually fix it in the book and I just missed it?

There is also the possibility that it got fixed after things had settled down, but if I remember correctly, they made it sound like it was an unfixable thing.

When does Harry Potter take place anyways? I know it’s modern enough that the Dudley got a computer for his birthday in book one, so it should be modern enough that the term “modern medicine” should apply.

Are We Facebook Friends? Then You Might Want to Re-add Me.

(Exact copy and paste from facebook)

So, a few days ago, the whole https vs http thing was pointed out. Normally I ignore chains, but this one made sense and I made the switch. Today I went to go into fishville to feed my fish. I do this about every 3 days. Not because I really play but because if I decide to later, I’ll want fish so I might as well keep them alive. Apparently, you can’t have a secure connection AND play fishville. I was already annoyed with fishville because I spent sand dollars (earned not bought with irl cash) to make it so I didn’t have to clean my tanks. Cost me nine. AFTER I spent it, I learned I had to spend 2 sand dollars every day for the actual cleaning fluid. No. Feeding my fish is annoying because I have to spend 5 minutes every day just cleaning the tanks. I want in and out. Done. So after today’s discovery, I said “screw this” and removed the program from my facebook. Then I got curious and checked bejeweled blitz, Sure enough, you can’t play over a secure network, so away it went as well. I didn’t really play it anymore either, just rolled the free slot daily to get my winnings in case I decided to play later. (I had over 1mill, wish I could have passed that on to someone.) While I was at it, I went ahead and removed 95% of the apps that had access to my account. Housekeeping, is what we’ll call it. Then I realized at one point when I actually cared about these games, I had added hundreds of “friends” to gain advancement. They were the next to go. I did keep one who has since actually made a point to get to know me and become an acquaintance. Why not? I went from over 300 friends to exactly 100. BUT that’s fine by me. Half of them didn’t even speak English (not that I had their updates on my wall). The only catch is, I know some of my friends had actually added me because they read (I almost deleted that to fix it because it was in the past tense and I wanted it in the present tense and then I realized DUH. Shut up! I’m tired!) my blog. I think I caught most of them. But I’m sure I accidentally deleted a few. Oh well, I’ll post this on my blog too and they can re-request. This whole precess took a good 45 minutes. BUT I think I’m done. So good night!

Let’s Look At It Like This

I have severe mental health issues. I usually take a dozen pills a day to combat these issues. Currently, because of pregnancy, I’m off EVERYTHING. If the WORST manifestation/symptom of my issues that is currently in effect is that I’m picking at myself (cuts that are already there from work/cat/etc, nothing self-inflicted) then really, things are looking pretty damn good.

I’ve picked since I was a small child. It’s a nervous habit and self-soothing. I know it doesn’t look pretty but I will mostly stop when I have chemical help. So leave me alone about it. My doctors know. They are keeping a close eye. Nothing is infected.