Parenting Advice Needed

parenting with Borderline Personality Disorder BPDThe kids addition.

I know they have their own blogs, but I figure it has a better chance of actually being read here and I could use some advice, sorta, maybe.

Luke has a new fear. Monsters. The worst offender being the “black” monster that wakes him up each night at around 2-4am. Now the adult mind is able to figure out this is a playful tiny cat who sees no issue with pouncing the sleeping 3 year old. He just knows he’s under attack by something he can’t identify and it’s terrifying.

After a few nights of this he got to where he wouldn’t go to bed without completely freaking out. Not an “I’m three I’m going to throw a temper tantrum” freak out. This was more of an, “I’m truly terrified here” freak out. So we decided, for a few days anything, the easiest thing to do was let him sleep with daddy on the futon in the family room. This gave us a few days to discuss monsters and try to calm him down. After a few days passed, it was time to get him back in his own bed. Namely because he has very expensive bunk beds showing up (tomorrow in fact) and we aren’t letting them go to half waste. That, and have you ever tried sharing a bed with a 3yo? Not fun.

Trying to get him back in his own bed, was no easy feat. Kid was still terrified. But we seem to have developed a few tricks. First, despite the night time fighting this leads to, his bedtime got pushed back to coincide with big brother’s so he has reinforcements at bed time. Second, we actually move his bed a few feet so he can check for monsters under it. At this point he is convinced there are no monsters in there to start, so he is safe. So we just had to put the 2am attacks from the cat to an end. Yes, shutting the door is the most obvious choice here. So we do it. But it’s not ideal. That room is hard to regulate temp wise. Without the door open and air circulating, it’s too hot with the heater on and too cold with the heater off. So no cat, but I still worry.

Our next step is to get our hands on a copy of Monsters INC (We’ll probably buy it since we should own it already anyways.) so he can see Monsters aren’t so bad.

Next bunk bed battle is bed wetting.

My 7 year old can’t stay dry at night. We’ve talked to his doctor and therapist at length, he just isn’t ready. Anyone who really knows the kid knows the problem is he just sleeps too soundly and doesn’t wake to the urge. Sometimes the after affect wakes him, sometimes he sleeps through it all.

At his 6 year check up the doctor said to keep him out of pull-ups that it was a subconscious thing. He knew he was safe to sleep through it, so he did. At the time this was a possibility. At the time we had a waterproof mattress cover so the mattress was safe, I just resigned myself to washing his sheets a lot. Then the mattress pad got destroyed. But the mattress was old and crappy, it dried fast, I just didn’t care.

Then we ordered bunk beds and got two brand new mattresses. And I’m sick of constantly washing his sheets. And I’m sick of his room smelling like pee.

So as of last week, he’s officially wearing this big kid over night version of pull-ups to bed. And I gotta say, they are working. Not in a keeping them dry sort of way, but at least everything else is dry.

I just hate having to spend money on them. Because well, it’s 20$ a pack and that’s a lot of money when you have another in diapers and another on the way. Granted, by the time the thirds is born, the second will be potty trained (at least during the day) so that’s something at least.

I don’t know that I’m actually asking advice on any of this. Because it seems to be handled. At the same time, if you have any to offer, I’m all ears.

Speaking of the third on the way, ultrasound pics can be found here.

5 thoughts on “Parenting Advice Needed

  1. Karen, if TK sleeps that soundly @ night that he's sleeping through having to go pee, what I did with my girls when I potty trained them was I literally got them up right before I went to bed & made them go potty. Granted when I did this, I did EVERYTHING for the child EXCEPT pee, including undressing, wiping bum, & carrying her to the potty & back to bed. Obviously TK's probably a bit big for you to be carrying him. BUT, you might try this. OR if you know he stays dry until say midnight, set an alarm (as if you don't have enough set already!) for midnight, then get him up. Just a thought. Have you told Luke his monster waking him up is the cat? that may help too.

  2. Get a can of lysol, some paper, tape, and markers. Make a new label for the can of what is now…."Monster spray". Spray it under the bed, closets, etc., where ever it is that he feels monsters hide. Then leave it with him, so that if he gets concerned in the middle of the night, he knows he has the ultimate monster-fighting weapon. Worked for the boyos, but they didn't have cats pouncing on them, LOL.

  3. @Ge – We do that all the time. Problem is, sometimes he pees before we even go to bed, other times he pees a second time hours after we drag him to the bathroom. It's a little frustrating.

    @D – Monster spray, got it.

  4. For what it's worth….I did tell Pat I'd buy you new waterproof mattress pads. I'll try to get those today if I'm feeling better later on.

    I like the monster spray idea as long as he doesn't actually "spray" the cat with it. Maybe a water srpay bottle instead in case he really uses it.

    And new beds in general might help. Where does the cat usually sleep? Does she have her own "special " place?

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