Archive for January, 2011

Feb 8th

Posted January 30, 2011 By kmarrs

Parenting with Borderline Personality Disorder Thomas has wanted bunk beds since before he had a brother to share them with. Pat and I promised Thomas as soon as he had a brother big enough to sleep in a big boy bed, we would buy bunk beds.

It’s time.

Traditional bunk beds made me nervous because I could see Luke climbing up to the top and getting stuck, or worse yet jumping off and breaking his neck. With these bunk beds, we won’t have that problem.

And as an added bonus, this is the first major piece of furniture Pat and I have invested in. Most everything else we own is hand-me-downs. So that’s kinda cool.

We also had to buy two mattresses and we paid extra for delivery and assembly. Worth it!

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Good Deal!

Posted January 30, 2011 By kmarrs

So, I’ve needed new underwear for awhile now. Mine wasn’t to the point of embarrassing or anything, but it was showing signs of wear.

With this tax return, which we got Friday, I was given 1,000$ to get baby stuff and maturnity clothes. Might be a stretch but it was a good start. Mind you, I’m not ready to start buying either, but I was given the money while we had it.

One thing I was going to buy up front was underwear.

Now I’m limited where I can buy it. At least pretty underwear in my size. Walmart carries plus size but it is granny style and ugly.

Lane Bryant is my preferred store. Catch is, one pair usually runs about 12-13$.

I had a coupon for 25$ off an order of 75$. So I figured I’d buy enough to use my coupon, maybe a little more so that the math worked, but not much more.

That would get me about 6 pairs of underwear. Not ideal but a solid start.

I walked into the store today and the kind I wear was on sale. 5 pairs for 29$!

I walked out with 15 pairs for 66.50$! I am so excited. And it’s cute! I mean I realize it isn’t like I can show it off to the world, but it is cute enough I kinda really want to. =P

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The Koi Are Stalking Me

Posted January 26, 2011 By kmarrs

Borderline Personality Disorder Blog BPDSee the fish tank is right next to my desk. And when I’m not at my desk the koi swim around as happy as can be. When I am at my desk, they cram themselves into the corner closest to me and just stare. They aren’t hungry. They do it all the damn time. It’s kinda creepy.

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Posted January 24, 2011 By kmarrs

Yesterday was my youngest’s 3rd birthday. It was a pretty uneventful day. I worked, brother was with grandma. He and daddy just did their usual hangout just the two of them thing.

Saturday I was home and we were going to get out of the house the 4 of us to do something special but it was so cold. We figured we were better off staying home in our jammies.

Tonight we are doing a small birthday celebration. We are making his favorite family dinner. Grandma and uncle Jesse are coming over to eat with us.

Two weeks ago I ordered a mickey mouse cake through work. Only I accidentally ordered it for Monday the 25th. I realized I meant the 24th about 15 minutes later and called the store back. The manager I talked two wasn’t in the bakery and jotted down a note to change the date.

I should have followed up.

Needless to say, I wasn’t overly surprised when there was no mickey mouse cake waiting for us today. I was kinda surprised that there wasn’t an order for tomorrow either. So I’m left confused.

I was able to pick up a really cool firetruck cupcake cake that was at a good price. It actually costs less than the cake I ordered.

He’s 3. He likes firetrucks. It works.

I’m not even mad. It happens. If he still likes mickey next year we’ll try again then.

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This ‘N’ That

Posted January 19, 2011 By kmarrs

It’s been a bit since I last wrote. I’ve been a bit of a mess. Physically and emotionally.

As stated in previous posts, I was pretty sick last week. I missed two days of work, though when I explained to my boss what was going on she was pretty cool, and spent 4 days total pretty much living in bed. By Friday, while I wasn’t 100%, I was good enough to return to work. So I did and it sucked but I survived. By Saturday and Sunday I was fine.

Except morning sickness is kicking in. I’m not puking or anything. Just a constant low grade nausea. And I’m feeling constipated so I’m all crampy and bloated. And my acid reflux always gets worse when I’m sick so there is all that too. It’s a delicate balance these days. If I eat the right things at the right time I’m usually able to achieve ok. But even then I have to be careful because eating leads to the constipated feeling. Thing of it is, I don’t think I’m actually constipated, I just feel like I am. I’m having daily movements. Just one of the joys of pregnancy.

My shoulder is feeling a lot better these days as long as I’m not pushing it. The few times I’ve run a lane, I’ve regretted it. Physical therapy is torture. I can’t take pain meds anymore to help me through it. I was suppose to get an MRI but my insurance isn’t paying for it. Then I got a letter telling me that my insurance wasn’t paying for it because I hadn’t completed physical therapy. My doctor failed to mention that part. So I’m hoping once I’m done with therapy in a few weeks we can try again. Though I’m not even sure I’m allowed to get a MRI while pregnant. So we’ll see. My most recent doctor’s note has expired and I’m seeing if I can go without getting a new one. I’m sick of them, to be honest. We’ll see how long that lasts. I’m also sick of fast lane though so I’m hoping it lasts.

Emotionally I’m a bit messy. Between being off my meds and pregnancy hormones I’m prone to tears easily. It doesn’t take much for me to get choked up. I’m a bit depressed. Mostly because I’m stressed. I’m not suicidal. I’m not unreasonably depressed. I’m just down.

Work is work. I’m attempting to switch departments still, I’m just waiting for something appropriate to open up. My boss is being supportive of this. So I just need to be patient. Patient patient patient.

I have to do something hard next week.

I’m signing my baby up for preschool. I can’t believe it’s that time already but well, he turns 3 on Sunday so I guess it is. I already know what preschool he’s going to. The same one Thomas went to. It’s a good preschool and I love the teachers. So I’m very excited about it. Aside from the fact this means my baby is no longer a baby.

We are expecting our tax return any day now. It isn’t quite as big as I had hoped though it will get plenty done. Most of it is already spent. We are taking care of important things like paying back a couple of people. Then we also have things like bunk beds for the boys (long awaited and long ago promised… TK has wanted bunk beds for him and his brother since before he had a brother.) I’m tucking away a few hundred for maternity clothes. I don’t yet have a need for them but if I don’t save the money now, I won’t have it when I do need it. There are a few other things here and there. Some minor some not. Fixing the van, replacing the tv in the basement, etc etc etc. We have a list of thing we went to do, and we won’t accomplish the whole list but we’ll get the most important.

I am looking forward to the date night Pat is planning for us. We are going out to dinner and a movie and then crashing the night at a hotel. I think. Dinner and a movie for sure. We always have a date night with our tax return. We deserve it. We don’t get really nice date nights often. Cheap is easy but we want something a little nicer.

We are trying to be responsible with our plans for our return. At the same time this is our once a year to have money to just spend. None of it ends up being impulse. Usually as the year goes on we finalize what we want so it’s all preplanned. But we get to be a little selfish. Have a little fun. It’s important.

All in all I guess things are ok. My health, physical and mental, will balance out in the next couple of months as I approach my second trimester. There is nothing really bad going on. So really, we are doing ok.

On that note, I have a almost 3 year old driving me crazy and it’s time to deal with that.

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Withdraw Day 4

Posted January 13, 2011 By kmarrs

If I could just get my body temperature to regulate, I’d feel so much better. Which isn’t to say I’m not already feeling a bit better. I get better every day. I’m just not 100% yet.

Today I missed my second day of work. I was asked point blank what was wrong and I answered truthfully. I just don’t know how they’ll respond to it.

I mean it isn’t a random bug. It’s withdraw from a chemical addiction to a prescribed medication that lets me lead a normal life. I can’t take the drug while pregnant so I went off it.

I’m lucky I didn’t spend 2 weeks sick. I’m lucky that I spent most of the weening off phases without my body noticing. It was only the final removal that my body caught onto.

I may need to ask my meds doctor for a note explaining the situation. I don’t know yet. I’m going to see if I can go without.

It would just really be nice being able to walk away from this without explaining what Geodon is and why I’m on it. I guess with the antipsychotic, Abilify, being commonly used to treat depression these days, I can avoid the BPD explanation. But we’ll see.

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