Who is to blame?
There are two known causes to BPD. Brain chemistry issues and childhood trauma. By childhood trauma I mean abuse, neglect, invalidating parents, etc. For most BPD cases, it’s a combination of the two. Not all people with the brain chemistry issues develop BPD, and not all abused children develop BPD. But for most BPD cases, they are both brain chemistry issues and a history of abuse.
Now here is where it gets confusing for my doctors. My childhood was fine. Maybe not perfect but fine. I was picked on some by my peers, but I firmly believe that’s because I already had mental health problems that lead to my isolation, which I preferred. I don’t think it helped, but it didn’t cause.
My parents were loving parents. They weren’t perfect parents, but no parents are perfect. I’m sure there are things they wish they had done differently, but you learn as you go and mistakes are made. I’m not talking huge mistakes. Just common mistakes. I was never beaten. I was never neglected. I was validated most of the time. There was the occasional mishap in that department, I’m sure. But only one case comes to mind. It’s already been discussed. It’s old news.
So my BPD is pure brain chemistry. It makes therapy harder, but at least no one is left feeling guilty. Er, at least no one is in denial? Whatever.
5 thoughts on “The Cause of my BPD”
Hi, I have always wondered what triggered mine, but I honestly think it was because my mother was a severely untreated BPD herself. My childhood was invalidating one minute and over validating the next minute. Very confusing for a small child. I need to write a post on this topic too. Good thoughts!!
i am really enjoying your blog.
Thank you both!
Also enjoying your blog and hoping I get back around to reading again!
My mother has undiagnosed BPD. No insight, lots of blame and projection. Me, I am not longer willing to function as a bozo bop up bag! That said, I get a good feeling about what you share and it may give me insight.
I have a pretty good idea about the etiology of my ma's BPD….I'll share that story another time.
Thank you so much Smitty! I really do hope you get something from my site. That's why I'm here!