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Living Life with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)

Yesterday was a real roller coaster of a day emotions wise. Actually scratch that, I was never up enough for the roller coaster ride, really just down. With some vomit inducing loops and plummets.

I woke up not ready to be up. So after I put Luke down for his nap, I went back to bed. I didn’t wake up much more cheerful the second time.

From there I don’t even know what happened.

I know I got pissed off because Pat steamed up the bathroom right before I needed to take my shower for work. I have this thing where I don’t shower after people. I find it extremely gross. No, I mean really extremely gross. It has to do with my repulsion over body fluids. So not only was the shower covered in ew, but the bathroom was filled with someone else’s steam. Which is even grosser than the shower itself. Needless to say I never did get my shower yesterday.

Then we fought. And we fought. And we fought some more.

I’ll spare the rest of the details. I don’t need to spark another fight with Pat.

Luckily I needed to leave early to go pick up my med samples so I got the hell out of dodge. It also gave me the chance to cool off before I had to work. No such luck, my mood held and work took forever.

I did my best to be pleasant and I would have gotten rather far with it if I didn’t have a customer chew me out for things that were beyond my control. It wasn’t even the stores fault. I was handed a soggy, literal wad of coupons. I started flattening and sorting them out and noticed that 99% was for things she hadn’t even purchased. She had a small order so it wasn’t hard to keep track of what she bought and what she didn’t. We finally got to a coupon that she had purchased, and she had only bought 2, the coupon required 5. She lost it. Ripped me a new one. She demanded I cancel her order so she could go back and get 3 more. I suspended her order so all she had to do was grab them and then I or anyone could finish the order out. I started to hand her the slip of receipt for what had already been rung out and she lost her shit again that no she wanted the entire thing canceled completely. So she could grab 3 more boxes of cereal, go back through someone’s line, and have everything else wrung up again only this time eligible for her $1 off 5 boxes of cereal. My bet is the second person to ring her out got the whole wad of unusable coupons again to flatten out and sort through.

So I spent all of yesterday miserable, angry, beaten down to the ground, and refusing to eat. That was my BPD day.

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