Two in one day? Damn!

So how am I doing?

Pretty good actually, thanks for asking.

I’m spending a lot of time with the kids. I’m enjoying one on one time with Thomas while Luke naps in the afternoon. That was one of my regrets while Thomas was in school. By the time he was home and Luke was in bed, I was too broken down for much one on one. So taking care of it while Luke naps seems to be working. We’re playing games and reading books. He doesn’t get my full attention during the entire nap. I do need some time to myself mid day to catch my breath between rounds of Lucas. Like now, for instance, I’m writing this post. But before I wrote this we played guess who, read books, and played with alphabet blocks, making words. So plenty of one on one mommy/son attention time. Once Luke wakes up, Thomas will play in his room and Luke and I will terrorize the living room. Some days we three go outside to play. Today is too rainy. Oh! And earlier before lunch the 4 of us watched cartoons together downstairs in the basement. We had quite the cuddle puddle going on the bed. So as a mom I seem to be doing much better.

Earlier today Stacy was referring to something I did or didn’t do and called me sad (pathetic). My smart ass response was that, no, I’m actually pretty happy. And for the most part that’s true. I still have stressors (money, job, money and money) kicking me in the ass, but I’m keeping my chin up despite it. Each week I do a little better. I think it’s the meds. Maybe it’s also me. I don’t know. But I keep getting better and better. I think once money and money (oh and money) is less of an issue, I’ll be downright grand.

I’m taking the time to do things for myself to further my business. My business being independent photography. I’ve set up a portfolio. I’ve set up a facebook page. I’m seeking out clients. This means I’m showing confidence in myself, which is something I don’t normally have.

Am I cured? No. Am I getting by? More than that. I think I’m actually thriving.