Archive for February, 2010


Posted February 17, 2010 By kmarrs

I had a meds appointment yesterday. Nothing major to report. We are still planning to put together a battle plan for the ADD, we just aren’t sure what. I’m reading a book right now that should give me some ideas to present to her. We’ll see. I can’t be on Adderall and Geodon at the same time, and I need the Geodon. But maybe, just maybe, this battle can be fought without the Adderall.

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I Make No Apologies

Posted February 14, 2010 By kmarrs

Pat and I are being criticized from all around that we were handed 7,000$ and we spent it all. Well almost all of it.

I make no apologies.

We did a lot of good with that money.

  • Paid a months and a half worth of bills.
  • Replaced that car that was dying
  • Got ourselves completely out of debt
  • Replaced a dead microwave and toaster

That all took 5,000$. That left us 2,000$ or 1,000$ each.

Now everyone seems to think we should have tucked that cash under the bed and left it for emergencies. And those people are probably right. But here is how I look at it. Pat and I don’t give gifts to each other for our anniversary, birthdays, Christmas, Valentines day, etc. Instead once a year we both get roughly 1,000 to do what we please with. Now most of Pat’s went to paying back Jesse and the car. He had a couple hundred left over for a pair of shoes, a special dinner with me, a printer that we need to print out pay stubs for SSI, welfare and WIC (my job has gone paperless so all pay stubs are online only) and a few other trinkets and dowaps.

Me? Out of 1,000$:

  • 100$ to Stacy
  • 200$ towards the car
  • 120$ bought my a point and shoot digi
  • 150$ bought me my camera bag
  • 15$ bought me a memory card for my new camera
  • 30$ went to film, prints, and batteries
  • 125$ went to newegg for a new computer keyboard, a mic, and an external hard drive to back up my life aka all my photos.
  • 150$ went to new shirts that were needed, I had nothing for colder months. Oh I also bought a bra. It was the most expensive thing I bought there. All the shirts were on clearance. But I needed a bra, I was down to only 2. There are 7 days in the week. You do the math.
  • 40$ bought me and my family dinner at noodles and company
  • 20$ went into the fridge at work to pay back for when it bought me lunch and for my coffee addiction
  • $30 went towards my special dinner with Pat
  • $20 went to various taxes and rounding of totals.

And that’s 1,000$. Yes I blew through it in 2 days. But a lot of thought went into everything. Everything can be justified. I didn’t impulse shop. I didn’t waste the money.

I make no apologies. So please, stop. Stop making me feel like I should feel bad.

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This ‘N’ That

Posted February 13, 2010 By kmarrs

Hmmm. I haven’t so much been in a posting mood as of late. I’m mostly just distracted by other things. I’m by no means giving this blog up. I just don’t feel a need to post daily.

On that note, here is what I have to say.

Tax return. We got one. Today. 7k. That’s a lot of money for someone who brings in a measly 13K a year. I mean half of my net income in one lump sum. Boggles the mind.

I’m a spender. I can’t save. Now, to my defense we struggle to make ends meet so when we do actually have money, there is always something that needs to be bought. Aside from my 20$ a week allowance, I don’t ever have money that is for pure fun. And even then shit like shampoo or batteries for the kids have been known to come out of my allowance.

So yeah, 7,000$. Saving it was out of the question. First and foremost we are only allowed 2k in assets before Pat loses disability SSI. Cars count. So does money in the bank. So it had to be withdrawn right away. And money in the hand is money spent. So what did we do?

Almost 2K went to bills and various debts. We paid off the last of the credit cards. It’s from a long time ago and has just kinda been sitting there. Occasional payments made, but otherwise frozen in time. It’s now gone. We paid our basic utilities and cable for the month. Car insurance. Things of that nature.

About 100$ went towards things like diapers, shampoo, razors and blades, basic things like that. We bought in some bulk while we had the cash.

We each got 1K to do what we please with. Pat is paying Jesse (who financed me missing 2 weeks of work so I could be in the hospital last spring) back. I’m paying Stacy back. I forked over 200 to Pat for the car project (more on that in a minute).

When all that was said and done I had 700$ left to do whatever I want with. And that’s where Pat gets nervous. See I’m a spender. Remember me saying that up above? More specifically thanks to BPD (bet you thought I couldn’t work that in here) I’m an impulse shopper. I have very little self control when it comes to money. It literally burns a hole in my pocket. So me having 700$ is a little, insanity inspiring. So what to do, what to do. It’s simple. First off I’ve known for 2 weeks how much I was getting so I’ve had time to plan. Second, I paid a lot of attention to my impulse control list over there in the left column. It’s where I list everything I want in the world that costs money. If it’s on that list it’s something I want and or need and have wanted it or needed it for awhile. So should 700$ fall in my lap and I buy things from that list, it’s not an impulse, it’s planned spending. So I’m sticking to my list. Mostly. There are a few recent development that I’m purchasing that I never bother to put on that list. Like a camera bag. My current bag simply refuses to be big enough to carry 2 SLR’s (really big cameras, one film one digital) 2 lenses, a flash, and all the various wires and chargers and filters and this and that and yo momma. Seriously, a have a fuck ton of camera equipment and my bag doesn’t hold it all. I was fine until I got my flash. So I’m buying a bigger bag. A 300$ bag that I get for 150$ to be exact. It’s nice. It’s HUGE. It’s so going to be mine. I’m so excited. I’m also getting books. I’m getting the books that are on that list but I’m also getting books that aren’t on it. Specifically I’m getting books that deal with the Tudor era of English history. It’s my current obsession. But they are books. And I make no apologies impulse purchase or not. I’m also getting a new computer keyboard and a mic. I don’t believe either one of those are on my list, but I’ve been needing them both. So they too aren’t impulses. Frankly, I’m getting a lot of crap. I’ll list the rest of it later.

Car. We set aside 3,000$ for the car project. It ended up being more like 3,500 when all was said and done. The extra 500$ came out of our fun money. For the past 2 weeks we’ve been tossing a turning in our minds over what to do with the car situation. The Nissan is on it’s last leg. It can be fixed, but we are looking at 2-3K to do so. So do we want to put 3K into fixing it, or do we want to put 3k into a new car. Both had perks. Both had set backs. We didn’t know until literally the last minute what we were going to do. We had planned to take the Nissan to the dealership on Monday to get it fixed unless something else jumped out at us over the weekend. That something else took the shape of a year 2000 Chrysler Voyager. 150,000 miles, some dings and scratches, but in otherwise really decent shape. 3k plus tax and title. It’s exactly what we wanted at the exact price we can afford. We couldn’t pass it up. It’s sitting out back. Bought and paid for with cash 3 hours ago. As for the Nissan, it’s going to sit and look pretty until we can afford to fix it up bit by bit. First it needs new rims and tires. Then we’ll take a look at the brakes, master cylinder, etc etc etc. It’ll get my back and forward to and from therapy, but not much else. I’m not allowed to drive the mini-van. Ever. I’m ok with that.

Ok, enough about money and shopping. Moving on.

Luke had his 2 year check up today. Little man is healthy as can be. He’s 34 inches tall and weighs 34 pounds (yes he is as fat as he is tall). This puts him in the 90th percentile for weight and the 40th percentile for height. For those of you who are going huh… 90th percentile for weight means he’s fatter by 40% of where the kids his age should be. 40th percentile for height means he is shorter by 10% of where the kids his age should be.

He had his lead tested which means they stuck his finger and then squeezed it hard to get enough blood out. He was very brave. Then he got 2 shots today. He didn’t even cry for any of it. He made a face and protested the shots but he calmed down quickly. I was very proud of him. I think it helps that I held him through the shots instead of lying him down on the table. He always seems to do better when I hold him.

I’m slowly but surely working my way back onto the Geodon. I’m back up to 80MG a day. The process has been smooth sailing. No side effects or anything. I’m not sure that I was expecting any. It hasn’t been that long since I was on it at 200mg. But you never know.

I’m done rambling for now.

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Posted February 10, 2010 By kmarrs

I’m having a really rough time sleeping these past few weeks. I’m either not falling asleep until well after midnight, or I’m waking up every couple of hours. Sometime both.

I don’t have Ambien this month. I forgot to get the prescription from my meds doctor. I had decided to tough it out, to see if I can go without. But clearly I can’t. So I’m going to be sure to get a script from her next Monday when I have my appointment.

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Comments pt2

Posted February 8, 2010 By kmarrs

I fixed the comments. Sorta. It’s now a separate pop-up page instead of embedded on the main page. You’ll see what I mean if you go to comment. I’ll go back to how it originally was eventually. But I’m going to give it time to work itself out first.

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Posted February 8, 2010 By kmarrs

It seems comments are at this time broken. I’m not sure what has happened. I haven’t changed a thing. I don’t know how to fix it. I’m hoping it works itself out. Meanwhile if you are just dying to say something, feel free to email me at kmarrs(at)walkingtheborderline(dot)com.

I’m also noticing that the titles to posts are a lot smaller than they use to be. I’m not entirely sure what is up with that. Again, I haven’t made any changes to my coding.

If these problems haven’t worked themselves out in the next week or so, I’ll see about changing templates. I’m just not sure I want to go through the hassle. It’s a lot of work and I kinda like my template.

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