A Nod To My Mental Health: Borderline to Stable is Possible

It’s been awhile since I touched base on my mental health, so I thought I’d give it a go.

These days I feel closer to stable. Wait, let me ask Pat. He doesn’t know. But I’d like to think I’ve been acting more stable too.

I’ve rekindled interest in hobbies. People suffering from depression, as I’m sure you know, tend to lose interest in things. I’m finding my interest. I’m not doing a whole lot of photography, but I think I’m mostly just bored with me current subject selection. I’m toying with taking my camera to the park and getting some good winter photography. But that needs to wait until we get more snow. And preferably not suffering from subzero wind chills. I do realize snow and cold go hand in hand, but it doesn’t have to be this cold for the snow to stick around. Anyway photography is on hold, but I’m gaming again. And that’s a good sign.

I’m feeling less angry at the world. More accepting. I’m not even getting all worked up over the hours cut at work. I’m trying to reflect on it as more time with my family. More time for my hobbies. More time to dedicate towards school.

Ah yes school. Slight sidetrack here. I’m planning, still, to try and pay for a quarter or two out of my tax return, if the car doesn’t eat up all the money. I can’t get financial aid until I fix my track record with them. Once I get more classes under my belt I can file for what’s called a fresh start. It will remove the dropped classes from my record. Until then it looks like I’m paying out of pocket. Which in the grand scheme of things isn’t the end of the world. My education is worth sinking some money into. If I can’t pay out of pocket for a quarter or two I’ll look into student loans. Since most of those don’t get paid back until school is done, I’ll have time to increase my income before I pay. I don’t really know how they work though. How many quarters in a row can I take off before I have to make a payment, things like that. I don’t even know how to get started. What I need to do is go down to the financial aid office and ask questions. But that requires a car that runs. It’s a bit of a drive I’d have to take by myself. And I’m not allowed to drive my car any further than I have to these days.

Where was I? Stable, rekindled interest, less angry… Um. Uh. Crap. Oh that’s right, motivation.

I’m still suffering from severe lack of motivation. But I’m pushing through. I’m getting laundry folded bit by bit. I’m getting things taken care of at work bit by bit. The make it or break it part will be maintenance at work now that the holiday season is over and I have time for it. God I use to love doing maintenance. But now, not so much.

I’m still on the same meds. I’m still forgetting my morning dose of Trileptal. Pat was reminding me for a week or two but he stopped setting his phone to remind him so I’m kinda just on my own.

Anyway there is your friendly mental health update. it’s a whole lot of nothing. But nothing is better than something, I think.

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