I am not making this post to be malicious or vindictive. I’m posting Facts as I see them and my intent for the following 1-3 months.
I’m posting this here because Karen Likes to Share everything with her followers and because this relates Directly to BPD.
after the first of the Year I am Filing for a Divorce. I am not doing so because my Wife has BPD I’m doing so because in the past 2 years my wife has Educated herself on everything dealing with BPD and it has made the Manipulative nature of her Disorder that much worse.
I find it ironic that being educated to your illness can make it worse but in the case of BPD that is a fact. Please don’t get me wrong, Its one thing to know its another to obsess…
to my wife I’m nothing more then a tool. a Coping Mechanism to deal with every day life.
I handle the Cooking so she wont burn herself, I handle the kids so she doesn’t hurt them, I handle the money so she doesn’t over spend, and now I even handle the Driving so she doesn’t wreck the car.
all the while I sit at home and stress out carrying the load of two people emotionally, financially, spiritually, etc… as well as carrying the load of three people physically(Read; I’m fat).
I used to have an awesome sense of humor, Love of Music, Love of Life, love… but Ive burnt myself out. Ive given my heart and soul to this marriage fully… and I’m out of fuel.
I could handle the BPD when we didn’t know it was BPD. but now that she knows this disorder in and out. she knows what buttons to push, what excuses to make, she knows that I would be the bad guy if I even tried to blame her and not her disorder for the mistakes, mood swings, etc…
BPD Isn’t the cause of all your mistakes Karen, not even half of them. its not an excuse. It is PART of who you are and I understand that, BUT IT IS NOT WHO YOU ARE.**
now that I am Calm, I say again. after the first of the year if you have not been able to figure out the difference**, I will be forced to do what is right for the Kids, Myself, and you…
I can only assume that this will be my last post on this blog so with that fear in mind I would like to thank all of the people that have supported Karen and myself in the past couple years and hope you all continue to support her in the years to come. I do hope I will be posting again in 2010 with good news but we will see…
Love
Pat