So why am I so forthcoming on my weight and diet on a blog dealing with BPD?

Well it’s simple and obvious, really.

1. My weight makes me depressed. Depression and BPD go hand in hand.
2. When I’m depressed I eat. Compulsive eating is one of the criteria for BPD.
3. My meds for BPD cause weight gain.

Anyway.

I’m getting really frustrated with weight loss. I try to be so good and then I hit a chocolate craving and all hell breaks loose. It doesn’t help that I think I’m premenstrual. Which would be the 4th period I’ve had in 2 months. That stupid birth control fucked me up. I use to be like clockwork. Now I don’t know when to start counting my 28 day cycle. Meanwhile my weight is up and down up and down and usually in sync with my cycle. Which these days translates to a fat week and a not as fat week. I just weighed in at 250, so I think that means I’m about to have my period. But who knows. It may just be a result of the brownies.

GAH

I’m just so frustrated!