I hate that question more than anything.

Sometimes I don’t know how I’m feeling.

Others I’m too overwhelmed with feeling tired to feel anything else.

Then sometimes I really don’t feel like blurting out, “Well today I’m mostly just suicidal with a dash of anxious, cranky and irritable.” Who wants to hear that?

Ok, yes… there are a handful of you who really do want to hear that so you can help, get me help, or stay out of my way. I understand that. I really do. But sometimes when I feel like that and it’s just a feeling, not a threat towards action, I really do just need to keep it to myself.

Why cry wolf?

If every time you ask how I’m feeling I answer suicidal, how will you know the difference when I come to you and ask for help?

That and I just don’t get off on drawing attention to how I’m feeling.

Honestly though more often than not, I just feel tired or cranky and nothing else is really noticeable.

………………..

Once a day I ask myself how I felt through the day. I track my moods at mood tracker and am able to see my highs and lows.

I’ll post my mood chart later so you can see what it looks like.

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In other news, the past few days I’ve been feeling more up. Which is funny only because I’m being weaned off my anti-depressant and was warned I’d be feeling worse before I felt better. However, I honestly think half the battle with me is just knowing that help is on the way, and that helps carry me through until the help actually kicks in.