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BPD Work Ethics and Other Rambles

The first thing of note was the accident. Not mine. I witnessed a hit and run accident where a car pulled out into a busy intersection, smashed an oncoming car who had right of way, and kept on going. I stopped and hung out at the scene to be a witness to the accident. The three people in the victim car were really nice and grateful.

The best parts:

The front license plate of the offending car was ripped off the car in the accident and left at the scene, so tracking them down was made easier.

While the police was taking our statements we heard of their scanners that another person had followed the jackass who caused the accident and when they parked someplace, the police were called to that scene. We know it’s the correct car because the license plate numbers and description of the car matched.

Needless to say, the jack ass didn’t get far.

Very best part: Causing the accident, bad. Running from it worse. They just delayed the inevitable and made things worse for themselves by running.

After the police were done with us, I had them follow me back to my house (this happened a block away from where I live) so I could get good shots of the damage and email them to the girl who was hit.

I feel helpful.

Once I was home after that run around I gathered up the littles and took them to Brenda’s. We built a campfire and had hot dogs and s’mores. Thomas got to play ball with Brenda’s youngest and we had a lot of fun just hanging out.

I had a good talk with Brenda about how I’m getting bored at work. It’s something she saw a lot with me at Westerville. When I’m learning something new I soak it in and have a blast. But after awhile it gets to be old news. I am, however, just going to have to learn to get over it. I can’t go getting a new job every time I get bored.

But I’m left to wonder, is this caused by my BPD? I mean really everyone goes through it to some degree, but does my BPD make it worse. I get bored to the point where I do just enough to get the job done and that’s it. No extra effort. And I hate that about myself. Pat calls me the hardest working laziest person he knows. But when I’m bored I just get lazy. At the same time though, I’m the first to volunteer to go that extra mile when needed. I just need that push. Insult my ability to do maintenance and I’ll get a weeks worth done in one afternoon, I’ll just cry while doing it.

I dunno, but I need to figure this shit out. My job isn’t currently at risk but I really want to keep it that way.

School starts in like 11-12 days (the 29th) and I’m not sure if that will make matters worse or better. I’ll have something new going on so it’ll keep me more occupied, but I’m afraid I won’t balance work to school well. I know my family will suffer in the mix. But that’s why I don’t go every quarter. I don’t like that my family suffers but school makes me a better person and will provide for me more options to provide for them.

I know I need to get good grades. I lose my aid if I don’t. So I’ll have to decide early on if this set of classes is going to work out or not and drop them as need be. Which I really don’t want to do, but that will hurt me less in the long run.

I think my biggest concern is that I’m not handling stress well these days. Work or kid stress floors me. I’m not sure how school will add to that mix.

I don’t know.

I just don’t know.

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