To Answer Questions Given To Me

Borderline Personality Disorder Blog BPDI never should have been able to register for classes to begin with. The woman I talked with 2-3 months ago should have told me I was in restriction and then I would have taken care of this then.

As it stands it doesn’t matter I was approved for aid, that shouldn’t have happened and they caught their mistake.

My plan regarding my tax return is still my plan of action and I’m going to use the time in between to work hardcore on my book and my mental health.

I was questioning whether I was handling stress well enough to be able to go back to class. Next time there will be no question to it.

Any questions, let me know. I’ll answer them the best I can.

Yet More

I know I’ve posted a million times on this today. I’m just really depressed over it and I end up with more and more to say the more I think on it.

What I’m feeling is defeated yet again in my goal to go to school. The goal that is the foundation to most all my other goals. Without those goals all I have left is my site and my book. Both of which are very important to me. But I need to be realistic concerning those goals. Do I really think I could live off ad revenue for this site? I dunno. I’m up to a whole 50 cents after weeks of ads. My goals are based on readers, without them my web site and book are just a hobby.

So what is my real plan regarding school?

Well here is the foundation they are looking at. The facts and numbers.

Fall quarter 2003 I was taking 3 classes when I suddenly stopped going. What can I say, I was young, stupid, pregnant and unaware what those actions would do to my future in education.

So on my starting record was 3 F’s.

Spring 2008 I jump through hoops and appeals to be able to even register for classes because of 2003 though I finally make it and I register for 2 classes. I get damn near 100% in both classes.

Summer quarter 2008 I find out that what happened in 2003 was being used against me again in the form of my GPA being too low for financial aid. I sign an appeal and I get my aid back just in time to take 2 classes.

Towards the end of the summer 2008 quarter we have the sudden opportunity to move out of our ghetto apartment and I’m offered a promotion I fought hard to get. I know if I continue with classes that quarter I’ll fail due to not even having internet for 2 weeks. So I drop the classes knowing my GPA really can’t handle the fails.

Summer quarter 2009 I call early this time to be sure my aid was in place and I didn’t have to do anything other than sign up for classes. I’m assured that while I’m on probation, which I knew about, I was good to sign up and my aid would cover it. Last week it showed my classes being covered by my aid and I received a 220$ refund for books. Meaning 220$ was left out of the aid covering my classes. I spent it, it was mine to spend.

Today I find out I’ve been dropped from my classes due to non-payment and that I lost my aid due to not having completed a certain percentage of all my classes. I’m assuming 2003 works into those figures as well.

There is indeed an appeal process but that takes time and I don’t have the time to do it now and still go to classes this quarter. Plus the small matter of owing 220$ before I can even register for classes again.

So the plan.

I need to get some classes under my belt. Classes that are completed and completed well before I can attempt aid again.

Which means I need to wait till I have a chunk of money, say about 800-900$ in my possession. Short of winning the lottery or someone just handing it to me, it looks like I’m waiting till my next tax return and will try again spring quarter paying out of pocket. I’m not happy about this but I’m to the point where it’s the only option I have left.

The Reason

I just can’t find the reason why fate, the universe, and cscc are so against me getting my education. I take classes seriously. I pull in A’s. I work hard. I fucked up 7 years ago. Why is that still being used against me. Let it go and let me get my education. Please!

I dropped those classes so I wouldn’t fail. I knew if I failed I lost my aid. I had no idea I’d lose my aid if I dropped them too.

Part of me wants to go down there and battle this. But I can’t get it solved in time for me to go this quarter. And I now owe the school 220$ if I ever register for classes again.

I don’t get why they sent me that money just to take my aid away.

I even called before I registered to make sure everything was as it should be and that nothing would pop up and get in my way. I was assured I was good to go.

I just can’t stop crying.


I was all excited to start classes today. First thing I did was log into my blackboard account to see what my assignments were there.

No classes showing.

That’s odd.

I log onto my schedule.

No classes showing.

I call.

My financial aid got pulled last minute because I dropped my classes last summer because we moved and I got promoted and I knew it was too much.

I was then dropped from my classes for lack of payment.

And that 220$ I went shopping with is owed back to the school.

They make it damn near impossible to get and keep aid. And without it I can’t go to school. I’ve had to fight to go every quarter I’ve gone and I just can’t do it anymore.

I hate having to say this, but I’m done trying for my education. Unless I can find a way to pay it out of pocket, the mental assault is more than I can take each quarter.

Birth Control

I want to tell the story behind the pregnancy scare.

I tried a new type of birth control lately. It isn’t 100% and I was worried I wasn’t using it correctly. You can’t be late with it at all. And for awhile that was the only birth control we were using. So when I started showing symptoms pf pregnancy….. I kinda freaked out.

It turns out the symptoms of pregnancy are also side effects of the birth control.

I’ve also had 3 mini periods in 6 weeks, which is why my weight has been all wonky.

So with all that drama I’m back to using condoms and only condoms. It isn’t worth the drama.

And next time I post that I think I’m pregnant, it’ll be following posts talking about us trying to be pregnant.