Untreated BPD

Untreated BPD Borderline Personality DisorderPeople with Borderline Personality Disorder, going untreated can work both ways. Yes, some of them refuse treatment. However, it also can be difficult to find a therapist willing to treat them.From day one in therapy, many patients with BPD teach their therapists to feel hopeless about them. They use words and veiled threats such as “You can’t help me!” or “If I don’t get better I will kill myself. Just you wait.” These words can and will emotionally drain your average therapist. Meanwhile, even your most experienced therapist has trouble dealing with patients who self harm or make suicide attempts. They are indeed, only human with feelings. And working with people they can become emotionally involved whether they like it or not. They do care if a patient has a good or bad week. And they will hurt if the patient hurts themselves. Even worse, a successful suicide leaves them second guessing could they have done more? A self doubt only magnified by any and all possible litigation over the death. For no matter how well a therapist has done their job, the suicide will bring about legal questions.

On the other hand there is the BPD refusing treatment. The number one reason is denial. With this illness comes long periods of stability which can leave the patient feeling like they are just fine and no longer need any help. They may have rages, but along with these rages come altered memory. These memories can leave them convinced they were really the victim. With denial comes the refusal to take meds and the vicious cycle that follows. In denial they go off meds causing a relapse with them needing to go back on them. Then after a time they are able to slip back into denial and end the meds again, just causing another relapse. When the meds do their job, it’s as if there is no illness, which can cause the belief that it is cured verses just being well treated. Another reason for denial is the stigma that comes with Borderline Personality Disorder. With the limited information about it, many don’t know what it actually is. They hear the phrase and assume the worst about the patient. This gets worse in the work environment. It can be hard, though sometimes necessary to admit the illness to coworkers and bosses. One must remember, one has a cold, but you are BPD or bi-polar.

While there is limited need to go into depth about this, one might also consider the cost of weekly therapy and daily meds. The medical bills can rack up quickly. And with it being difficult to hold a steady job with this illness, the insurance isn’t always there.

So there are many reasons BPD can and does go untreated and as for now, while the general population goes uneducated, the general population is to blame.

Want to help?
Donate money to a local cause dealing with treatment and research for BPD.
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10 thoughts on “Untreated BPD

  1. Thanks, this rings true to me. My ex fiance is diagnosed Bipolar II a year ago. On her meds. But 2 months ago she fell in love with the person she hates the most in the world. Her abisive ex husband who she has a 11 year old daughter with. She was down and depressed the last 6 months, BUT her behaviour the last 2 months was textbook Bordeline and Bipolar Hypomania. (lots of outbursts of ander and the ok and then weeping). Hysterical weeping over the dog that died, then watching TV and Hysterical weeping some more. Hate the people she loves and loves the ex again whish she hates. Impusively moving to her ex with kid lying to me about where she is going and promise of marriage. But I was to calm….She wanted to pick fights ALL the time with my and blame me for everything. Her daughter was in on the lying. I let them go back to the ex (with half my stuff since she promised well be together for ever in a different town), she never worked in 3 years. She broke up with me via text the next day. I found out that she is with her ex in a different town.
    The lies, deceipt, warpt life ideas and taking my stuff etc…..
    What to do?????? I Love her and she blames me for everything

  2. Honestly, I don't knwo what to tell you. I don't know her so I can't fully gauge if this is typical of her. If it is? At some point you have to admit defeat. If it isn't it's worth trying to get her back after she has a chance to remember she hates him and loves you. I know I personally had that "Oh Yeah!" light bulb, but I can't promise she will. Only you know her full history of behavior and patterns.

  3. That was really helpful. Reminded me that my therapist feels what I do. But can I say I hate being told that I AM borderline or AM anorexic or AM bipolar. I don't agree. I have BPD but that is all. That does not make me who I can. It is only part of who I am. Hope that makes sense.

  4. You are very very right. You are not______ you have_______. It's amazing what a change in language can do.

  5. i am suffering from bpd till when i’m 12, and now i’m 28. i have a troubled childhood, uncountable heartbreaks and lots of complicated relationship. When i’m 18 i was aware that something is not going normal with me. i seeked medical help went and see lots of doctor and psychologist, none even diagnose my prob. till 26 i went here and there and received useless treatment. finally i came to see my psychologist who said that i’m suffering from bpd, but she even not able to help me. i want to get rid of it, can any body help me to get a good therapist? i am living in india at kolkata. if things are going like this, this bpd will kill me. i don’t wanna die. i wanna fight. can anybody teach me how to help myself how to fight with bpd plzz.

    • The best way to fight is a type of therapy called DBT or Dialectical behavior therapy. Do you know if anyone in your area offers it? If not I would suggest trying to get your hands on a book that teaches the skills. It in no way is a full replacement of the group therapy sessions, but having the book would be better than nothing. Can you ask your psychologist about it? See if they know where the group therapy can be found?

  6. i have every diagnoses under the bp box bi- ploar type 2 clusters bp b and c i have been abused and neglected all my life. i am 29 nearly 30 lived with this feeling of not belonging since i can remember. i have tried therapy in all different manners i even studied psychology to try and fix my issues. i have never quite reached a stable feeling within myself the medication works to a degree the therapy i find patronising and beneath me. i am at present relapsing taking street drugs and drinking to excess my feelings and emotions are regulated through the choice or changing my state of mind with self medication. i have no interest in coming out of this hypermanic state at present but i know that sooner or later i will hit rock bottom and crash. the next piece of writing will be on the lines of i want to die and i dnt want to be here. i will more than likely self harm self abuse or self sabatarge. and it all stems from something i had no control over. i am aware that i am in control now but how lonely does it feel to be on your own because you dnt trust family and friends. so i swallow the paranoia i say my sorries even tho i dnt mean them then i start back on the wagon like a junky doing rehab or a drunk keeping dry. personality disorders and mental health issues are the worst to live with because you are not stopping yourself from the world you are trying to stop yourself from yourself. i tell myself today is a bad day and tomorrow will be different and it never is.

    • I wish I could give you real hugs and not virtual hugs. All my regular recommendations center around therapy and getting help, but you’ve been there. It sounds like you’ve been very proactive. And you’re right. Sometime nothing seems to help. You mentioned a next piece of writing. Does this mean you have a blog? Blogging can be very therapeutic. Otherwise, just hang in there. Keep trying. Maybe a better therapist? I don’t know.

    • I was diagnosed with bi polar back in 2002. Before I learned of it I had no knowledge before hand. Now 14 years later! On may 24 2016 I learned they had misdiagnosed me! I was so emotionally confused and many other thought’s ran though my mind. I was severely neglected and mental abused as a child. And I have no friends no family and my son turned against me! I need support but have none! No one! Please care! Show me how to cope. I tried suicide 4 times! Please if there is anyone out there that can help me I need that support. I don’t want to die!!!

      • i think finding a good psychologist will be helpful. tell yourself that you have to deal with the problem no matter what happens. tell yourself that you cannot let those negative feelings affect you. everything will be fine if you start thinking about the issues rationally. give yourself and the therapist some time and be patient. educate yourself about the disorder as much as you can. wish you all the best.

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