Very very tired.
And depressed. And feeling hopeless, lost and alone.
I love my job and I know I’m good at it. Sometimes even great at it. But I have this deep rooted paranoia that has me desiring to interrogate my boss on a daily basis on whether or not I’m doing a good job. (I’ve only done so once, about a month into the promotion and it was a simple “How am I doing, is there anything I need to work on. Ok.”) This paranoia is set off by even random comments in my general direction which may or may not be an actual comment in regards to my ability to do my job.
And all the above feelings don’t aid in my ability to do my job.
They also don’t aid in my ability to be a good mother and wife.
And I’m just very very tired and depressed and scared.
I called my meds doctor today.
The process has been started.