BPD Blog Borderline Personality Disorder

Bette Davis Eyes

Posted March 3, 2016 By kmarrs

I am buying myself a present as a congratulations for getting a new job.  It’ll have it sometime in the next couple months, though it’ll be a multi-step process.

I am buying myself a 10 gallon aquarium to sit on my desk at home.  I’m going to fill it with a dozen or so live plants.  This will be my first planted aquarium and I’m super excited!  I’ll also have a nice hunk of driftwood in there so it’s going to be all natural looking.

Living in this aquarium will be the bestest betta fish I can find, and I shall name her Betta Davis.

Then, since it will be sitting near a window for natural light to help the plants, there will also be an algae problem, so I’m buying a clown pleco, which won’t get too big and can safely live with a betta.  I will name him Kenneth Mars.

Now since this reference is a bit more obscure…

  • First, the last name.
  • He was a comedian (clown pleco)
  • He starred opposite Bette Davis in a made-for-tv movie called Hello Mother, Goodbye!
  • It’ll start conversations which is always a plus

I’m super excited!

 

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That title is obnoxious.  I’m keeping it!

So my mom bought herself a new car for her birthday.  And since her old car, which is literally as old as my eldest child, was only worth about 500$ in trade in, she just gave it to me.  So I have a car!

Which means there is nothing keeping me from my new job!  I start today!

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Medication Update

Posted February 23, 2016 By kmarrs

As of last Friday, I’ve been upped to 100MG of the new antidepressant Pristiq.  So far it seems to be doing something, I just need it to do more something.

Next up I’ll be upping my Geodon from 80MG to I’m not sure what.  I just can’t change more than one thing at a time.  Why am I upping the antipsychotic?  Simple.  It helps act as impulse control, and that includes the impulse to rage.  I want to be less ragey.  I want to be less impulsive.  But mostly less ragey.  So here’s to hoping!

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Administrative Assistant

Posted February 18, 2016 By kmarrs

Well, I’ve had my final interview and assuming I get a car sometime in the very near future, the job is mine!

To say I’m excited doesn’t even begin to cover it.  This is a step on the path towards my dream job.  Hell, it is my still-in-school dream job.  So yes, I’m very super excited.

I just need to get a car.  And that is proving to be more of a challenge than it should be.  The IRS is giving us a hassle so I might have to wait until my school money hits.  Which is fine, but that’s later than my projected start date.  I have no means of working until I have a car, and now I may not have a car until mid March.  I had told them, before the IRS hassle began, that I should be able to start by March 1.

I’m fairly certain I’m the only one that applied and I know the job is mine, but I’m not having an overly professional beginning and it would be within their right to take back the offer.

I just… I’m tired.  I want this job.  I need this job.  I need a car.

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Magic

Posted February 9, 2016 By kmarrs

The Bloggess is working that magic that she is so good at, but no one else seems to be able to pull off!  It’s Booksgiving over on her blog.

If you haven’t seen it, it’s basically strangers buying books for strangers.  Yep.  It started with the Bloggess wanting to buy a book for 10 different followers.  They were instructed to set up an Amazon wish list with nothing but books in it, and then to link it on her blog.  Well… That gave all her readers access to all the wish lists and her readers are doing what her readers do best.  They are giving and giving and giving.

I, myself, have received a couple with more on the way.

In return I will find a way to pay it forward.  Or maybe this is my reward for magic I have accomplished elsewhere.  No idea.  But I’ll find a way to keep it going.

If you yourself want to take part either as a giver or a receiver, it might not be to late.  Head on over and take part in something magical.

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Closed For Business

Posted February 3, 2016 By kmarrs

So I’ve decided I’m going to try to apply for ssi to help with income.  I know I’m maybe about to get a job, but even at 12$ an hour I’ll still be working so few hours and it comes out to less than $1000 a month.  That’s the cut off, by-the-way of what you’re allowed to earn and still be eligible for disability.  Plus, it’s technically part of my financial aid, so I think it works a bit different.  Don’t quote me on that part though.

So here’s the scene.  The real reason I’m writing about this.

It’s 1:33 at night and the house is quit.  I have the presence of mind needed to sit down and fill out the extensive application.  So I bring up the site, and find this.

Closed

Apparently this particular government website has opening and closing hours.  A website.  That is basically nothing but a form that gets filled out.  Has opening and closing hours.  Now, I’d understand like a customer service help line, sure.  But the entire website has opening and closing hours?

I’ve seen a lot of thing in my 20 years of using the internet, but I have to say, this is a first.

And if this doesn’t sum up our government, I don’t know what does.

 

(Disclaimer: I’m not dumb.  I realize this is probably to cut off possible cyber attacks while there is only a skeleton crew of programs and server guys manning the office in the dead of night.  I get that.  But the logic behind the reality is a lot less funny than the reality itself.)

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