Working the Numbers


We officially have the keys to our first house. It’s rented, but it’s magic. I have wanted a house for the kids for over a decade now. And this house… It’s a 4 bedroom ranch with two bathrooms. Finally enough room that we aren’t tripping over each other just to move around. (We’ve been in a 5 bedroom for the past 6 years. The 5 of us.) The backyard could be classified a park it’s so big and it’s on a non-active air force base. We’re in the old base housing. We actually got an officer’s house. And we’re a 5 minute walk from the airport itself, right down from where they park the Apaches. My boys think they’ve died and gone to heaven. Even the most hesitant of them, Lucas who has only ever know this house and is timid and sensitive, is in heaven. Sambam is just in aw. It’s like she’s been left alone in a candy/toy store. Her favorite part is her closet, she insists she’s going to sleep there. I share the sentiment, it’s been a long time since my clothes haven’t hung from a pipe in the basement. I asked Thomas what the best part about leaving this house was and he waved his arms around to indicate all of it. It’s taken us over 11 years, but Pat and I have finally been able to give our kids what we’ve always wanted for them. I don’t even care it’s rented; that means if shit breaks, someone else has to fix it. The neighborhood is safe, the schools are great, I want to die of old age in this house! We can rent to own so that might damn well happen!

Here is this problem: This very first month, with the costs of moving, and some new financial sources not yet kicking in, we are in the biggest financial pickle we have ever been in. I am asking, hoping, wishing that those who might be able, to kick a buck or two or whatever you can our way. We are desperate. This money wouldn’t be covering shit and giggles, but the essentials of life. If you can help, please visit the donation button to the left which will go straight to my paypal. It’s always been there as a thank you for running this site, and as a little extra something which people have very kindly occasionally offered. But now, I really need it there. If you can’t give, please know we understand and love you all the same. We accept happy thoughts, crossed fingers, and blessing of good luck on this next stage in our family adventure, just as gratefully. There is also the option of sharing this cry for help with those you know? Only if you are comfortable with it. But sometimes, just sometimes, magic happens. And we really could use just a little more. (I’m not lying, this house is pretty magical.)

Photos you ask?


The front of the house, which needs some work but we’re happy to. Thrilled to!


The back yard! I assure you: Sambam and I have already twirled barefoot in that grass. Skirts swirling, heads dizzy, hearts, glowing, mouths laughing.


Ah there she is, exploring our first ever covered parking. We’ll finally be able to keep the kid’s bikes at our place, chained to those pillars. But the neighborhood is perfect for afternoon bike rides.

I truly love you all who come here. Please know that. And I thank you all for every visit. For every comment ever left. And for any outcome from this post.


Yeah.  Sorry.  Here is the thing:

Some of you are planning last-minute holiday orders via Amazon.

Are you one of those people?  Can you maybe place your order by entering their site using the link to the right?  Has this moved down the page some?  Ok, scroll up to the top of the page, you’ll see it.  You can’t miss it.

You: Get to place the order you were placing anyways.

I: Get a little something in my pocket, for sending you to amazon, to help me with this whole being unemployed.





You’ll also find a donate button top left.




So Sambam and I got matching stamped bracelets.  Only, ours are more printed on than actually stamped. There is no indent.  There is ink or sticky or something.  I don’t care.

Except how I got thinking how I would do it different.

Then I got thinking I could do it different.

Then I got thinking I could do this.  I mean, how hard can it be?

Answer: Not hard.

The initial investment would be around 450$ in supplies.  That would give me bracelet blanks, stamps and tools.  From there any stamps I’d want to add seem to run about 8-10$.  I’d start with all the letters, both upper and lower case, as well as all the numbers and some pretty designs.

Then as I went, the continual running cost doesn’t seem too bad.  30$ for every 130 bracelets, roundabouts?  This could actually pay for itself in time.

I wouldn’t do it full-time.  I would make presents.  Shines for me and the girl-child.  And I’d gladly take custom orders from those I know to recoup costs.

I wouldn’t bother with Etsy unless I could knock them out a dozen at a time.  OK, half-dozen.  But this involves sanding or filing metal.  I figure I’d be good to make 1-2 a week.

In a year, if I sold all those 1-2 a week, I might even recover the costs of my initial investment.

So clearly this is a bit of a pipe dream since I don’t have the time commitment to make the money sink profitable.

Unless someone out there has 450$ to sink into a quality investment.



Any takers?

But let me make one thing clear: If I can track down that TARDIS stamp I keep seeing used, this is happening!

I’ll just sell my first bracelet for 500$.


Since before I even graduated high school, over 10 years ago, I’ve been a student at the local community college.  At no point, aside from one measly semester in 11 years, has this gone well for me.  First I was young and dumb and made a bad decision.  Then I had the consequences of that decision.  Then I had a fresh start and did beyond well.  Then as I attempted a repeat of doing well, I got promoted and moved in the same week and lost internet connection at the same time, while taking online classes.  Oy.  I thought I dropped the classes, properly, in time but apparently not.  Drama drama drama.  And CSCC has no interest in really working with me.  Looking at the 11 year history of the good and the bad and trying to solve the problem so that I can be the student I am capable of and want to be.  Dudes, I am really really trying here.

Finally it got to the point where I just accepted I was going to have to pay out-of-pocket until my GPA was “acceptable” so I could get my aid back.  What’s being counted on my GPA?  Two classes I dropped properly a week too late and 2 damn near perfect scores.  I can see why I’m an at-risk student that should be denied the aid the federal government already approved and handed to them.

God, I don’t want to drudge that back up.  I’m over it.  It’s behind me.  But the want to be educated isn’t.  My life is settling.  My kids are only getting older and wiser.  I will have no more in the oven.  I have this opportunity for once in a long time, to be really selfish in a way that will better me so that I can better my family and our situation in life.

But, to continue at CSCC I do still have to pay out-of-pocket awhile.  And while I have made arrangements for a benefactor, that person can’t do anything for another couple of years.  All this to go to a school I don’t even really wish to attend anymore.  Sure it’s cheap and easy, but what is the real cost?  Is it really as easy as it could and maybe should be?

I’ve spent the past year going over my options.  First aggressively and without any feelings of hope about a year ago.  Then I put it aside and focused on my career all while trying to decide not on the school, but on the intended degree I could get from it.

Now I find myself hearing news of the school I have always known about.  I know people who are starting there.  Just finishing there.  Making something of themselves there.  And I find myself jealous.  Why not me?  Why is it never me?  Then I learned the one thing holding me back wasn’t an issue: They actually offer their classes online!

Boom.  That was all I needed.  I’ve started the process of enrollment.  I’m ready to fill out the forms for my aid.  They won’t be given the info from my CSCC days which means a 100% fresh start.  Sure I’ll have to retake 2 classes, but in the grand scheme, if this goes as I’m starting to plan, who cares?  It’s 2 easy classes that I’ll get to start with and hopefully pull the same damn near perfect scores.  Talk about starting school with an ego boost.

I don’t expect to be able to start before summer.  I don’t know how many classes I’ll take at a time.  I know tuition is 3 times the cost so I’ll need aid to cover every penny.  This means I’ll have to be sure to take enough credit hours.  This may mean, and I hope not, that I’ll be working full-time and going to school full-time.  But even then?  So what.  I’ll be busting ass balancing work, school and family, but in 4 years I’ll come out the other end a mother-fuckin-college graduate!  I’ll be damned if anything is going to hold me back.  Not even my own nerves.  I’ve wanted this for far too long and that drive that has built for 11 years will get me past the next 4.

Dammit, I am Karen hear me roar!

This isn’t full on insane, right?


Sorry about that, but it does.

I have a favor to ask. One that doesn’t actually require you to do anything.

If you are already planning an Amazon purchase or 20, can you enter the site by one of the links I offer?

You don’t have to buy anything specific our even special, but by simply starting your shopping from my site with one of my many links, I get a little cash to put towards my own Christmas.

In thanks, I offer:



Work is going good and I just got a promotion, but with 3 kids, every little bit helps.  I’ve built an association with Amazon.  Don’t know if it will work out or do any good.  But the perk is I get to show you the books for BPD I recommend the most. (Bottom right column)  Then in the footer… well if you are planning to make an Amazon purchase and start from that search box I get a little something.  Not much but something.  And all you are doing is changing where you star the Amazon purchasing from.

If you aren’t into it, don’t worry about not using it and it’s tucked away down at the bottom.  If it doesn’t work out, I’ll remove the search box.  I still like the carousel thingie because it is a great way to show books on this illness I find helpful.


All the necessary dates we’ve been missing for this move are in.

Dad is out this coming Monday.  June 11, to be exact.

We close June 29th.  We have to be 100% out of our current apartment July 4th.

We were hoping to have the summer to move slowly but it isn’t going to happen that way.

This makes things more stressful but it’ll happen.  We do just want to get it over with, after all.


I lose internet at some point between the 15th and the 4th.  We are disconnecting here and being sure we are 100% square with the bill then reconnecting at the new place.  I’ll let you know, closer to the point I actually lose it, the exact day it goes down.


As for the DBT series I’m planning.  I don’t think starting it this Tuesday will work.  First, long gap of space I won’t have internet to work on it.  I can type them all now and schedule them out, but right now I need to focus on packing.  There is a lot of crap to pack that needed to wait until we had confirmed dates.


So here is to the beginning of one of the most stressful months of recent times.  Bare with me and stick around.  Hopefully I’ll come out the other end happier and with a kick-ass series on DBT to premier!

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