Work and BPD Archive

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I am.

I don’t know what I am, but I am.

Part of me thinks I’m too sick to keep trying to juggle school and work and life.  But at the same time, having a routine and structure does me good.  Work gives me that.  I have somewhere to be during the week.

My hours have dropped.  First, they couldn’t keep me busy for 20-25 hours a week.  That’s a simple fact.  So instead of being there from 9-3 Monday-Thursday, I’m now there from 10-3 Monday through Wednesday.  Some weeks it might be more like 10-2 Monday through Thursday.  Either way, it’s fewer hours.  Which is good.  I keep the routine and structure, but I don’t have to push myself harder than I can reasonably function.

I am still sick.

And tired.  God I’m tired.

So it is with this in mind that I’m continuing my bid for social security.  By dropping down in hours I’m improving my health, but I’m also making under 1000$ a month now so I’m not automatically ineligible for ssi.

In all work is going rather well.  I like my job and I seem to be good enough at it.  I also like my boss so I’m happy where I’m at.  I just can’t do it for more than 15-20 hours a week.  I’m not healthy enough.

Meanwhile, school is going really well.  I just finished another term and kept my perfect 4.0 in the process.

My new term has already started, by the point in time you are reading this.  This one should be easier than the last two.  Well, last term, macro and microeconomics wasn’t hard.  It was just a LOT of writing.  This one should be less work overall.

My first class is called Understanding Science.  It’s a two credit hour class that meets a general education requirement.  It’s 12 weeks long and while there are 4 tests in total, I’m not expecting much trouble.  I’m good at science and this is only skimming the surface.

My second class starts in 6 weeks and it’s Communication Ethics.  I know nothing about it but the girl I work with just took it and got a B.  She also said it was one of those classes where you can get all the work done in a single evening.  So I’ll give myself two evenings and get an A.  Her professor was also a stingy grader.  Hopefully mine isn’t.  I do know I’m taking it with someone else so there is a chance s/he is an easy grader.

That’s basically my life right now.  School.  Work.  Kids.  Sleep.  More sleep.

I guess that’s why I’m not writing much.  There are only so many ways I can say school is going well.  And well, life is rather drama free at the moment.  I’m not complaining, but it makes for a quiet blog.

Even my current stint of unhealthy is a quiet one.  I’m simply tired and stressed and moderately melancholy.

I’ll post a fish update soon.  They give me life.

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One of Hers

Posted March 16, 2016 By kmarrs

I work in an office building with a few dozen professors and a dean.  Only two of these people have anything to do with math.  I’m surrounded by different department heads and it makes for an interesting atmosphere.  It’s been established, in fact, that life in that office in no way represents real life.  Also, yes your professor may be brilliant in their field, but that doesn’t always translate to other things.

Case in point:

I was asked today to do some research on how I could make a poster in PowerPoint. *blink blink*
A 5 minute conversation later I did confirm it doesn’t actually have to be made in PowerPoint, she’s going to print it anyway, and why yes I can build it for her on my laptop that has Photoshop.
The woman is brilliant in math but lord help me she’s lucky she has me for the rest.

So anyway.

I’m surrounded by many professors for many fields of study.  And quite a few of these professors are jealous of my boss because she has me, and no one else really has a me.  (They could apply for a me, but apparently they never really considered that option.)

So the other day my boss, Dr. L, went to a meeting and in this meeting another professor made a silly/snide comment about how she has a work-study and no one else does.  She let it go, and the meeting continued.

A few days later they were in a conversation, the two of them, when she reflected back on what he said.

“Wait a minute.  Wait a minute!  We’ll get back to the topic on hand but I need to crush you first.  Not only do I have a work-study, but she’s one of yours!”

“… One of mine?…”

“Yes, one of yours.”

“Applied Psychology?”

“Yep!”

“But… But… Mine don’t usually even like math!”

“Well this one does!”

“She could be doing research!”

“You’re right, and she might!” (Implying I might be doing research in the field of mathematics.)

“That’s not even fair!”

Bwahahahaha

*cough*

Ha!

I love my job.  I love my boss.  And then I finish my BSs (plural) and continue on to my MS, I might switch and work for the Applied Psychology guy.

But for now, I’m content making posters (not in PowerPoint though) for Dr. L.

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New Job

Posted March 5, 2016 By kmarrs

God I’m tired.

I love my job.  I love working for the university.  I love working in the math department.  I love my bosses.  I love everything about it.

It is exhausting.  I mean the work itself isn’t.  I’m just having to spend more energy in general than I have in a long while, so I’m tired by the time I get home.  Half the time I come home and nap, before waking up and working on homework.

Homework.  Ugh.  It isn’t like the number of assignments lessens based on the amount of job work I do.  I will say this though, having the university library right across the street from my office is useful.  I have not done it yet, but once I find my rhythm and I’m no longer in as great of need of an after work nap, I fully intend to stay at the library a couple of days a week to get coursework done.

Once I’m in face to face classes I’ll be staying behind at the school anyway to go to class after work.  I work Monday-Thursday 9-3, for the most part.  Balancing the schedule of 2 adults, and 3 kids will bring some variance to that, but that is the general schedule.

I took pity on myself and dropped one of my classes this term.  I had it so I was taking to courses at once for the last 6 weeks of the term.  But until I find my rhythm and balance of work/family/school, I need to not take more than one at a time.  Usually it isn’t really an issue anyway.  The only reason I was going to be doubling up was because I took an extra 6 weeks off at the beginning of this term.  Needed it.  Don’t regret it.  I just won’t be going to school full-time this term.  And that’s fine.

My psychiatrist isn’t leery about me working to begin with.  I’m sort of healthy enough for it, but I tend to jump into the deep end thinking I can float no problem, and then end up starting to sink.  I think only taking 1 class at a time will get her to stop worrying some.

Alrighty.  Time to stop procrastinating this econ paper that refuses to write itself.  I’ll check in next Tuesday, maybe.

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That title is obnoxious.  I’m keeping it!

So my mom bought herself a new car for her birthday.  And since her old car, which is literally as old as my eldest child, was only worth about 500$ in trade in, she just gave it to me.  So I have a car!

Which means there is nothing keeping me from my new job!  I start today!

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Administrative Assistant

Posted February 18, 2016 By kmarrs

Well, I’ve had my final interview and assuming I get a car sometime in the very near future, the job is mine!

To say I’m excited doesn’t even begin to cover it.  This is a step on the path towards my dream job.  Hell, it is my still-in-school dream job.  So yes, I’m very super excited.

I just need to get a car.  And that is proving to be more of a challenge than it should be.  The IRS is giving us a hassle so I might have to wait until my school money hits.  Which is fine, but that’s later than my projected start date.  I have no means of working until I have a car, and now I may not have a car until mid March.  I had told them, before the IRS hassle began, that I should be able to start by March 1.

I’m fairly certain I’m the only one that applied and I know the job is mine, but I’m not having an overly professional beginning and it would be within their right to take back the offer.

I just… I’m tired.  I want this job.  I need this job.  I need a car.

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