The Physical Ailments


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ER Doctor: So what did you do to your wrist?
Me:I tripped over a kid, not my own, and braced my fall with it.
Dr: Ow!  And you did this today (Late Thursday)?
Me: No… Sunday afternoon.
Dr: And you’re just coming in?
Me: Well, I’m a klutz with fibromyalgia.  If I came in every time something hurt, I’d never leave!
Dr: *chuckling* Well, it’s good you know this about yourself.  We have plenty of repeats who don’t.
Me: Exactly.  I figured I had just sprained or strained it as usual, stabilized it, and have taken Ibuprofen for pain and swelling.  But 4 days later it’s getting worse and not better so I figured now it’s time to make sure I’m not being stupid.
Dr: Makes sense.  Alright, let’s get some x-rays.

30 minutes, if that, passes

Dr: Alright you have a hairline fracture about here. *points to where thumb meets wrist* I’m going to wrap it for you and refer you to an ortho for follow-up to see if you need an actual cast.

And scene

Ah yes. Fibromyalgia: Where you can fracture a bone in your hand and just live with it for 4 days before getting it checked because you’ve had worse pain so how bad can this be.

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I woke up a week ago to the worst headache I’ve ever had and a neck I could barely move.  Now, I’m use to headaches but not like this.

Never the less, I went on to my Math class that night thinking little of it.  It wasn’t until I got home after math, and was freezing no matter what I did, that I decided to take my temperature.

Pushing 102 degrees.

Yikes.

The following morning when I couldn’t get my fever below 101, I went on to the hospital with Pat as my escort.

Sure enough they thought what I thought and I got a lovely spinal tap.  And by lovely what I mean is the doctor did a beautiful job and I was only in extreme pain from it like I was supposed to be and not because he messed up.  Because, you know, drawing spinal fluid out hurts like hell.  For the record.  No need to go and get one yourself  as proof.  Unless that’s how you get your kicks.

The good news is it wasn’t meningitis.

Before, during, and after the tap I was given a lovely course of antibiotics via an IV and I woke the next morning feeling lovely except for the back pain from the tap.

But I was given perc for that.

The moral of the story is: When you go to an ER complaining of an extreme headache, stuff neck, light sensitivity and a fever over 100, they are going to take you very seriously.  So seriously, in fact, that you are most likely getting a needle through the spin.  And if you do that without complaint beyond, “I’m going to puke, I’m going to puke, I’m going to puke,” they know you really are sick.

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One day, many days from now, I’m going to laugh at the fact I spent labor day weekend 2013 laboring over my first kidney stone.  Back contractions and all.  But not yet.  As I type this I’m 96+ hours into this bullshit and not nearly ready to laugh.  On the plus side, this afternoon I got upgraded from Vicodin to Percocet so I can’t currently feel a thing.

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I have been missing it since last fall.  Never thought I would, but the feeling of power that comes from pushing through the burn as my feet hit the pavement, is strangely addictive.

Warm up.  Run.  Walk.  Run.  Walk.  And so on until cool down and collapse.

I have it nowhere near by the book.  I will continue day 1, week 1 until I do.  It might take years. Then I’ll move on to day 2, week 1.  I have my limits though.  Not fat girl limits, but chronic pain issues limits.  If I don’t listen to my limits I’ll do more harm than good.

But I’m working on it.  I’m officially that fat girl making her way down the sidewalk not giving a damn what you think because at least I’m trying.

What are you doing?

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I took my first, and hopefully last, Benadryl yesterday.  I think I prefer the anaphylactic shock I was starting to go into.

Ok, realistically, I probably wasn’t going into full shock.  I’ve been allergic to the wax on apples for over 10 years now.  I’m constantly having my throat swell up due to “bad apples” being snuck into crap.  It’s hard because not all apples will get me.  Are they organic or treated?  How were they handled after they were picked?  It’s a crap shot.  But while my throat does swell up and it sure as hell is anything but comfortable, I’ve never had to have it treated.  I’m patient, it goes away.  And, I’ve fine tuned what to avoid and what to enjoy.

This past week or so my throat has started to swell up like that, no less than 4 times.  I have not had a single apple and I can’t find the common ingredient that is causing it.  The first few times is was very mild so I noticed it, as it is hard not to, but otherwise went along about my day.

Yesterday, during Thomas’ party, shit started getting real.  It’s been a long time since my throat has gotten that bad.  I may well have been able to ride it out,  but not knowing what I was up against and being well aware that this shit can actually kill me, I got a Benadryl from my father.

The good news is I felt better fast.  But oh dear God the come down.  I had to end the party early so I could go home and crash.  Thank God I wasn’t driving, I could barely hold my head up.  I got home, and crashed face down in my bed, lights still on, and I don’t think I so much as moved for about 3 hours while I slept it off.  I then woke up swimming in a pool of my own sweat, feeling like I had been hit  by a train, my heart racing to try to catch up with the train to kick its ass.

No, I don’t know what caused the whole mess.

Yes, I’m keeping a food journal to try to narrow it down.

Yes, I have more Benadryl because while I certainly don’t like the effects, it’s better than death.  Certainly death by Anaphylactic shock.

Yes, I might well have to see about getting an epi pen.  I suppose it depends on what is causing it and how serious this plays out.  I always thought about getting one for the apple thing but I was always able to manage it on my own.

Yes, I’m stubborn like that.

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The official story that will go in my memoir should I ever write one will discuss how I took a hoof to the face while saving a tiny tiny infant from a herd of stampeding unicorns.  Very angry unicorns.  Only the baby and I can see them.

The reality is that I suppose with a condition like fibromyalgia and a history of joint issues, it isn’t unusual for my body to mutiny.  So dislocating my jaw isn’t overly off the wall.  I’m just grateful I got in back in socket on my own.  The urgent care gave me a muscle relaxer and sent me for X-rays.  The tech running the x-rays was flabbergasted an MRI wasn’t ordered.  My doctor will have to be the one to order that if I’m still in pain in a few days.  I don’t have time for this bullshit though so I’ll be just fine.

And the fact I may never eat a bagel again is totally unrelated.

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Luke had his Ortho appointment, last Friday, for his wrist.  Apparently while it is just fractured in one spot, it is also broken in another.

He remains steadfast in his bravery in these whole shenanigans.

Probably because he got to pick out the details for his cast.  It’s hot pink, glows in the dark, and is 100% waterproof with NASA technology guaranteeing that he can swim in the damn thing.

 

Why pink?  Well, “pink is the prettiest color that there is”.  And I’m rather fond to be raising a man who isn’t afraid to say so.  Also, no public school means no bullies telling him he shouldn’t like pink.  Because he should if he does.

Why glow in the dark? He is his own night-light.

Why waterproof?  Because the thing stays on until March 31st and he’s already starting to stink from no baths.

Once the 24 hours we have to wait has passed, I get first dibs on signing that thing!  I’m so excited!

 

On another, totally unrelated, note: Join us tomorrow, Tuesday May 7 at 8PM  EST for the very next #GeekParty on the twitter!

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