The Physical Ailments Archive

Bronchitis with Bite

Posted November 17, 2016 By kmarrs

I’ve gotten bronchitis every single fall since I was 12 years old.  For those of you keeping count, that’s 20 year’s worth.  I haven’t missed a year.  Sometimes I even get a bonus case in the spring.  I don’t know dudes.  I don’t smoke anything that actually gets inhaled.  I don’t have asthma.  I don’t have many things that would explain this 20 year ordeal.  I just have chronic bronchitis.

So when the chest cold hit last week, I acknowledged my fate and went to the doctor before it had a chance to get bad.

Actually, let’s back up about a dozen years.  I don’t know when this part began, but as far as recent years go, the only things that really get me breathing right are an inhaler, which isn’t uncommon, and a shot of steroids to the ass.  Now, I suppose it doesn’t have to be administered that way.  I could do the 5 or 7 day taper down, but I metabolize it better when I get the shot to the ass and I become less psychotic.  Seeing as I’m borderline psychotic on my best days, I find myself willing to submit to the needle.  Plus needles don’t bother me.  And my ass has lots of padding.  So it’s a little fast prick (insert lewd joke here) and then I can breathe again within hours.

But I always need the steroids.  Always.

So when I went to the little urgent care at the grocery store I had two items on the agenda: steroids (any form, I couldn’t be picky at the urgent care) and an inhaler.

Now I’ll admit I was early in the illness so I wasn’t yet wheezing, but she acknowledged my history and stated that yes it was bronchitis, just caught early.  She handed me a script for an inhaler, an antibiotic (she thought I might also have a sinus infection, you don’t treat bronchitis with an antibiotic), a script for a decongestant, and a script for a cough syrup.

No amount of talk would get her to prescribe a steroid.  It didn’t matter that I had a 20 year history of this, she wasn’t going to do it.  She didn’t give me a reason, just a refusal.  So that was that.

That was last Saturday.

I went to work Monday and convinced my coworkers I was dying and dying loudly.

Tuesday I went in again, because I knew I’d be needed, but told my boss it would probably be best if I stayed home Wednesday and Thursday, and why. (I didn’t see her at all Monday, and she works on a whole different floor, so she had no idea I was sick and dying from the cough.)

Tuesday at 1PM I got sent home early, which isn’t unusual for a Tuesday and I decided F that noise, and went to my local emergency room.  I was bad enough I needed chest x-rays and I wasn’t going to leave until I got a shot of steroids to the rump.  The hospital, btw, use to be the first place I went with this crud, and that’s where the steroid treatment began.  So I knew they’d hook me up.

Well, after a brief wait, and a few chest x-rays I was called back to a room and given the interesting news that I was no longer dealing with just bronchitis, I know officially have my first case of pneumonia.

They hooked me up with a breathing treatment, because my pulse was up and I was, well, that sick.

And yes right before I left, my beloved steroids to the rump.

I can’t even tell you.

It’s like for days I kept coughing and coughing and coughing almost nonstop, but nothing was happening with it.  After the steroids… You know that feeling of finally being able to get under a cough to push it up, verses fighting against it for ages but never being able to get under it, so it’s just stuck down inside you? Steroids let me get underneath the cough and push it all the way out of my lungs.  Now instead of nonstop coughing, I cough a few times an hour and that’s it.  Maybe more if I’m doing a lot of talking.

And I’m still like super drained, because duh I’m really sick, but before that shot, the idea of going back to work Monday felt impossible.  Now it’s totally doable.  The next few days of rest and I’ll be so ready to return to work.

So yeah, I’m just going straight to the hospital with this crap from now on.  I’ll wait until it’s fully in my lungs.  No more catching it early, because doctors don’t like being told what’s going to happen, but when it hits, I know where to go from here on out.

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Chicken Butt

Posted March 8, 2016 By kmarrs

Today I am getting a colonoscopy.  In fact, by the time you read this, I’ll be done with the procedure and will be taking a nap.

They are checking me for colon cancer.  I probably don’t have colon cancer, but I could have colon cancer, so they are checking.  You probably don’t have colon cancer, but you could have colon cancer, so you should check.

Typically you have to be a few decades older than I am, before they really start the screenings.  But, I have a family history and my family history starts young, so at the ripe age of 32, I’m being checked.

Go team me!

Be proactive about your health, people.  It’s not just about mental health.  I mean with us, we’re all getting ourselves mental help, or should be anyway, but sometimes we get sidetracked from the physical crap.

But you are only as healthy as the full package.  You aren’t just a brain.  You are a body too, so you have to keep that body healthy.

So today I’m getting a colonoscopy.  I’m not saying you should to, unless you are of an age, and then I am saying you should too.  What I am for sure saying is, if it’s been awhile since you’ve been to a regular doctor, you should schedule a physical.  There is hopefully nothing wrong with you, but if anything is off they can diagnose it before it becomes a problem.

And if you know something is off, then you know you need to go, so go!

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We’ll Start With The Ladies

Posted October 17, 2015 By kmarrs

I owe you all a few posts, but we’ll start with my breasts.

After a couple exams, a mammogram, and a breast ultrasound, I can happily announce that there is a lump, but it’s basically lumpy fatty tissue and of no concern.

So that’s one less thing I have to worry about.

I do need to find a doctor and get some other things checked, though.  Ugh.

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It’s Probably Nothing

Posted October 12, 2015 By kmarrs

So I don’t really know what to say on this, or when the appropriate time to say it would be, if ever.  I’m just kind of at a point where if I don’t blog about it now, I may never, and I think I can work an important PSA into it.  So here goes.

On Wednesday, October 7, 2015, my husband found a lump in my right breast.  Well, not so much a lump, but a noticeable change.  I, of course, immediately made an appointment to have it checked.  The CPA that examined me said she was leaning towards it being nothing to worry about, but she did refer me out to a specialist so that we could all have peace of mind.

So on this coming Thursday, I will be getting my first ever mammogram.

At this point it’s more better safe than sorry than an actual alarm, but there is still a chance, however slight, that there is actually something wrong.

So I ask you to please, if you don’t already, check yourself regularly.  You are never too young, and things can spring up out of nowhere.

Ok.  Thanks.

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Shot in the Ass

Posted September 14, 2015 By kmarrs

So I’m in the midst of my yearly case of bronchitis.  I’ve already been seen for it.  I got my yearly dose of steroids in shot form right to the right bum cheek.  I got a brand new inhaler.  I’m already feeling much better, though I still have my cough.  But at least I can mostly breath.

All this is to say I’m behind in life and I’m literally typing this more than half an hour after it’s due to post and I usually write at least a couple of days in advance.  I owe you a post on my algebra class, that’ll have to come Wednesday.  I just need to play catch up on life.  Mostly on algebra itself.

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True Story

Posted June 9, 2015 By kmarrs

Borderline Personality Disorder Blog

Two months ago I was sure I was just constipated and it turned out to be acute appendicitis.

This time I was almost positive I was passing a kidney stone but too dehydrated to get it on my own, and it turns out I’m just constipated.

Either way it turns out I have a gallstone which explains the I’M DYING feeling I sometimes get under the bottom of my right ribcage.

I don’t know.

At least I had health insurance.

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