The Physical Ailments Archive

Nearly Wordless Wednesday

Posted May 13, 2015 By kmarrs

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Two Medical Updates

Posted May 10, 2015 By kmarrs

Borderline Personality Disorder BlogMe:

So Geodon withdraw started Monday and it was the worst it’s ever been.  It didn’t help that I was under high stress and recovering from an appendectomy.  My blood pressure went through the roof, I had no appetite, I couldn’t control my body temperature, and was running a fever.

On Thursday I decided it was in my best interest to go back to the hospital and get checked over.  I filled them in on everything from the amount of stress, the withdraw and why, and of course the surgery.  I told them that chances were it was all just this withdraw in which case I could continue to ride it out, but with the surgery being in the mix, I needed to play is safe.  The doctor agreed with all that and did a complete work up of my blood, urine, and a chest x ray since I was having some trouble breathing.

The end result was that it was indeed just the withdraw but while I was there she gave me a dose of Ativan and holy hell did I almost immediately feel my blood pressure drop towards normal, and I regained control of my body temp.

Upon leaving the hospital I called my mom and filled her in on that and she agreed to pick me up in the morning to get my Ativan filled.  Of all my meds it was the one I was least concerned about, and yet it helps with the withdraw.  Go figure.  It was also only 40$.  The only medication that low.

Then later that day, Friday, health insurance cards showed up and I was out the door and on my way to the pharmacy within 10 minutes.

Backing up to Wednesday: Pat had been given a script for Cymbalta that later caused too many side effects.  He remembered he had this and got it filled, for me, since he still had his insurance.  So come Friday morning I was on both Cymbalta and Ativan.

Come Friday night, I was on everything.  Now, I KNOW it’s bad to start 4 meds at once, so hear me out.  I had been on the Cymbalta for a couple of days with no side effects.  I never start Cymbalta without side effects, which tells me my body was still adjusted to it.  I’d had a couple random doses of Ativan off an on since my first withdraw weeks back.  It has also been discussed I could pair it up with another med when I started them back up.  Geodon my body was still literally begging me for, and so I had no hesitation in giving my body that.  The only random element was Trileptal and I have really have side effects with it so I decided to try.  If my body said it was too much, I figured I could cut Trileptal out of the mix for a while.

 

Rachel:

She is currently back in the hospital.  She’s been in and out over the past few months, of course, but this stay is pretty serious.  She went in will mass swelling and pain.  It turned out to not be her liver but instead an infection that went to her blood.  They got that taken care of.  However, she was also having a lot of problem breathing.  So they put her on a breathing machine.  Turns out she aspirated something.  Possibly/probably her own medication.  So anyway, she’s been on the breathing machine for the past few days, though it looks like she can finally come off that.  The other huge problem is that she’s not currently peeing on her own, which means her kidneys are shutting down.  They have her on dialysis to allow her kidneys to heal some in a stress free environment.  The dialysis will also help get the toxins out.  That’s been the name of the game all along: keep the toxins out.

The major problem is, if her kidneys do in fact shut all the way down, she won’t be eligible for the liver transplant.  All her other body parts need to be working or else she’ll be too unhealthy and will reject the new liver.  So hopefully her kidneys will heal up some and the dialysis will kick-start them into working again.

The bottom line is all her body parts are having to fight to function normally and it’s exhausting.  But there are ways to give them breaks and then kick-start them back up.  Hopefully it all works because the transplant team has called a special meeting which means we might have a much-needed decision very soon.

Otherwise she goes hospice.

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The Walking the Borderline Weekender

Posted May 2, 2015 By kmarrs

Walking the Borderline Blog BPD Borderline Personality Disorder

So I was released from the hospital Wednesday afternoon, but I had lunch there first.  It’s menu style where if you don’t order, you get the “special” but you can call down and order from the menu to get what you want.  I knew Sammy and Pat would be getting there about 11, and I knew lunch would be reaching me about 12.  I also had a feeling that a stressed out daddy will have forgotten to grab food from home for Sammy.  Hey, he was doing awesome, but an emergency surgery kind of fucks things up.

So, as they were getting there at 11, was right about when I needed to be calling to order my lunch.  I affirmed with a daddy who thought he had just fucked up that Sammy would be needing food.  I dialed down and timidly asked if I could order two lunches, basically, and that I was going to be sharing with my 3-year-old, uncertain what rules there might be.  The woman taking my order immediately lit up and started rambling about how she had all these chocolate chip cookies down there, would my baby want one, and what else might she like.

Sure enough, about an hour later two lunches showed up and a cookie that all but had Sammy’s name on it.  Please note, the patient didn’t get a cookie.  Only the baby. *sigh*

 

This week in my store:

Profits from my store go towards supporting my family.

Speaking of my store, you can find a link to the WTBL new items up along the top. It’ll take you here. I actually own the pink shirt. No joke, I love it! All items in the WTBL store are great ways to support the blog.

 

Quote of the week:

“I like your boo-boos momma!  They’re my favorite colors!” (Purple bruising and traces of red blood.)

 

In closing, this realization:

So I had spent 24 hours pushing the Miralax trying to get things moving down there.  Apparently that is the LAST thing you want to do if your appendix is angry.  But I seriously and honestly thought for the first 24 hours, that I was just constipated.  Now that I’ve had my surgery, I’ve been warned that I might be a little constipated at first and that if I have any Miralax or such…

Also, while the surgery was fairly minor and routine, there is always the threat of not waking back up.  It happens.  Pat was paranoid.  I was not really thinking about it much.  People generally wake up.  Then I met my anesthesiologist and knew that I was in the best hands ever, as this man was born for the job.  I am as serious as can be.  His name?  Dr Sleeper!

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Borderline Personality Disorder BlogApril, and by April I’m including the very end of March, as been a shit hole as far as health is concerned.  Let’s take a look.

  • End of March I’m in the hospital trying to get admitted for mental health and I’m told no.
  • Beginning of April we find out we have no health insurance as we try to get the 7 yo’s meds filled.
  • Said 7 yo has spent the entire month unmedicated and it’s bad.  OMG so bad.
  • Said 7 yo, 3 days after we learned we had no insurance for the month, got his first major migraine.  It was so bad we had to take him to the ER.
  • By the middle of the month, I started running out of my meds 1 by 1.
  • Sunday the 26th I start feeling the worst abdominal pain of ym life.  I think I’m just constipated as it’s happened once before.  That post went live yesterday.
  • Monday night at about 11PM the pain localizes to my lower right quadrant.  I look it up.  Sure enough…

Did you know that your appendix becoming inflamed can feel like extreme constipation?  It also includes bloating (yep) loss of appetite (yep) and major discomfort all over the abdomen and lower back (yep) until the pain finally starts to localize to the lower right quadrant.

Learning this I got myself to the hospital and settled in for a long night of testing.  Sure enough the CT scan showed a very angry appendix, that I managed to catch very early.  My appendix was removed late the Tuesday afternoon.  I went home Wednesday afternoon and will be spending the next 3 weeks under doctor’s orders to keep it easy, and not to feel bad about needing bed rest especially the first half.  I am, after all, in some serious pain. Which is to be expected.

I go back for a follow-up in 3-5 weeks and then I’m feel to resume my normal degree of refusing to leave my bed because I’m too sad.

And before anyone worries about the fact I don’t have insurance, they will cover the surgery.  They will even cover Luke’s migraine ER visit.  We just need to call in with the official numbers after the 1st.  Then all will be well.

Meanwhile, I still stand by that ice cream being medically necessary.

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This One Is About Poop

Posted April 30, 2015 By kmarrs

banana21When I was in roughly the 5th grade, I came home from school and had an afternoon snack that consisted of a couple of bananas.  It wasn’t long before I was in some of the worst pain of my life coming from my stomach.  My mom came home from work to find me in the fetal position on the family room floor, all but unable to move, sure I was dying.  She knew right away that something was horribly wrong and took me immediately to the emergency room.

As I type, I’m experiencing this exact pain again and have been for the past 24 hours.

Back to 5th grade and the emergency room.

After hours and hours of testing it was confirmed I was…

dun dun dun…

constipated.  Not just a little, but to the point that it was serious.  They, uh, treated me, cleared my system completely out, and sent me home feeling as if nothing had ever been wrong.  Also, seriously hungry because it was about 2AM, I hadn’t eaten in like 10 hours, and my system was void of everything.

20 years later, having refused to repeat the emergency room experience, I’m now slowly working on clearing everything out on my own.  I’m overdosing on miralax and coffee with the knowledge that loose stools, while unpleasant, are far better than what I’m currently going through.

Luckily, well, let’s just say that due to being lactose intolerant, I have officially sent my husband to the store after medically necessary ice cream.

I’m not going to suggest you feel jealous, because I wouldn’t wish this on anyone, but medically necessary ice cream is about the best thing ever.

Also, I officially have not eaten a banana in 20 years.

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The Walking the Borderline Weekender

Posted April 4, 2015 By kmarrs

Walking the Borderline Blog BPD Borderline Personality Disorder
I’m sitting here at 2AM on what is technically Saturday morning and my guaranteed weekly post is due to go live in 11 hours and I’ve got nothing.

Oh, I suppose I’ve got something but I spent 6 hours in the emergency room with my Lou-Lou Bear who had his first migraine headache today and it was a doosey. He’s ok. He’s sleeping now and has been for the past couple hours since he got home.

Meanwhile, I’m honestly not sure how I’m still awake. I think it’s just sheer acknowledgment that making it to bed requires energy I don’t currently have.

So this is my weekender. A tired sign-off for the week. A wishing of a happy holiday if you celebrate anything this particular time of year. A promise that I will figure out what I’m writing about this week between now and Tuesday. And finally, a promise I’m going to bed now.

Hope your week was bright, all. I promise mine could have been worse and I’m hanging in there.

Also: Happy birthday to my baby sister who made it to 28. May she make it to 29 and beyond.

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