Random Archive


Posted November 2, 2015 By kmarrs

I don’t know why but of all the places in the world, I want to visit Greenland and Iceland the most.

Don’t get me wrong, I’d love to travel Europe and visit all the museums and historically significant places.  It’s a dream.  But if I were to only leave the USA once, I’d want to go to Iceland and Greenland.  They just to me seem to be the most beautiful places in the world.  Plus, they aren’t exactly tourist hot spots so it wouldn’t be so… crowded.

I don’t know.  I really don’t know what it is.

I bet there is a cruise that goes through the region and will stop at different ports of interest.  Or, I’d just take a flight and stay at different motels as I explored each country.  I’d need a few weeks to do it.  Maybe when my kids are grown and I’m done with my schooling I can reward myself with spending a summer doing just that.  I don’t know.



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Random Bits

Posted June 4, 2013 By kmarrs

None of these are long enough for a separate blog post all their own, so they are having a lesson in sharing.

Speaking of sharing, my boys share a room.  And almost every morning they wake up ready to brawl, waking the rest of us with the sound of their fighting.  I say “almost” because once a week they wake up in separate homes.  One with my mom, the other here.  So I’ve decided to take a creative approach.  Mind you, I think so far out of the box that my box doesn’t even exist.  What the hell is a box?  This box you speak of, does it hold candy?  Only then am I interested.  Or, maybe if it were a box of puppies.  I digress.  So I’ve decided that from now on, every morning that they wake up and immediately start fighting, that night they have to share a bed.  My husband finds this twisted.  I argue the horrors of sharing a twin bed might shock them into getting along.  Oh, and we’ll go top bunk since it is much harder to fall out of when your brother tries to shove you to your own side.

Hey!  Speaking of falling out of the top bunk:

The NASA technology is gone, now there is just a brace in its place for the next 1-2 weeks.  But only when he plays.  It’s still healing but he needs to be able to let it move when he isn’t being rough and tumble.

On a different note, Guess who is getting a perfect 100% in the first college class she’s taken in over 5 years?  That’s right, this bitch!  It started easy but once you see it possible, you keep it possible.  If you tell yourself you’ll settle for a pass, you’ll only pass.  When you tell yourself you are an A student and you will pull in A’s you get A’s.  I’m telling myself I am capable of perfection. (I’ll settle for A’s.  What do you think I am, crazy?  Yeah, don’t answer that.)

My husband told me he broke the hair clippers, basically meaning I can’t shave my hair off anymore.  And that’s how I got blood stains on my hands.  Then he told me he fixed them so I brought him back.  Slightly zombified.  Slightly.  Or, it’s possible he only seems like a zombie because he threw out his back?  This paragraph has no real purpose other than OMG I finally can get rid of this hair that is way too long.  I spent a week thinking I could maybe grow out my hair.  HAHAHAHAHAHA.  No.  It’s touching me. (I’m not crazy, I’m eccentric.)

Any job letter of reference that starts out

Jane Doe can rappel down skyscrapers with a single bound.  More importantly, you can trust Jane’s set-up so that you too can rappel down skyscrapers, in a single bound of trust that she can get you safely to the bottom.

is a winner.  You want me to write you a letter of reference.  I’m qualified.

I’m a touch slap happy.  We just survived the 1st of the month in banking with an entire 7 employees for the entire branch.   We’ve been known to consider ourselves short on the 1st with a full 12 employees.  Tired doesn’t cover it.  But I’m flying high because I took on a role of leadership over something we were trying to logic out.  I presented the plan, ran it, and it worked like I knew it would.  Flying.  High.

Hey, speaking of leadership.  I would have had a chance to get a promotion that I turned down.  Again, not crazy.  First, starting school and being promoted within weeks of each other does not lead to perfect scores in school.  Oh, I’d still pass, but at what cost?  Sanity is a fragile thing.  And that box is currently upside down as it is, as “this side up” points to the floor.  Oh hey!  There’s my box!

But also, this promotion had I been given it, would have taken me from my branch.  It isn’t like I won’t ever leave my branch, but we are days away from being down to 2 tellers.  One of which, not me, is pregnant due to pop in less than 2 months.  Full line, FYI, is 6-7.  Me leaving before we hire at least 3 more would cripple the branch.  And I can’t do that to my team.  I can’t.  If I had absolutely nothing left to learn from them, it would maybe be different.  Hell, my boss would push me out the door.  She’d rather that than hold me back.  But I still learn something new there daily.  Plus, we have a new teller supervisor(!!!!!!) starting next week.  I am so excited to work with her.  She will be amazing for our line, branch, team.  She use to be a trainer.  She trained all of our personal bankers in fact.  Moral is high just thinking about her joining our team.  It’s her job I’d be taking at the other branch.  It’s a position I’m after in general.  But I’m excited to learn from her first, and then move on.

Finally, and the boss lady only told me about this after I decided not to apply, the other branch is so slow.  I mean so very, very slow.  There isn’t even anything to clean or organize.  I’d last about 2 weeks before they’d have to lock me away because I tried to put the ceiling tiles in proper order based on how many dots or bumps or specks of dust they have.  Hint: it’s so clean there is no dust.

But what matters is that the boss lady told me about the position because she thought I’d be perfect for it, and confessed she got depressed at the idea of losing me.  And not just because I’m a warm body running a window.  And when she told the other manager to expect my application, and then told me I should email the other manager if I wasn’t going to apply after all, the other manager actually put up some fight.  I don’t know what boss lady told her, but my heart if full of warm and fuzzies.  Perhaps my ego too.

Perhaps my ego needs those warm and fuzzies.

Perhaps my boys will be grateful they have adequate jammies as they spend a few night crammed into a twin sized bed, learning how not to fight.

Perhaps I can pull a perfect 100% in every class straight through my bachelor’s and my MBA.

Perhaps you too can rappel down skyscrapers in a single leap of faith in Jane’s rope work.

Perhaps her name isn’t really Jane Doe.

Perhaps I am even more eccentric than you anticipated.


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I Have A Dream

Posted April 30, 2013 By kmarrs

Last night I dreamt that I was diagnosed with mono and ordered a week of strict bed rest. And it was the best dream ever. Until. My dream self informed the doctor that this simply couldn’t happen because this week is both the 1st and the 3rd of the month and we are severely short-staffed.

I am both proud of and horrified at my dream self.

Also, really tired.

Also last night:

My 5-year-old thought he could fly and jumped/fell off the top bunk and fractured his right wrist in 2 places. Buckle fracture so it is more bowed and bent than actually broken. Still involves 4 to 6 weeks of cast.

And I couldn’t help but think, after I knew he was ok:

As many people who gave me an opinion on medicating my little one… Well they can suck it. I argued from day 1 that he was a danger to himself. We parents who medicate don’t make that decision lightly. By the point he took flight, meds had worn off for the day and he was left with no help.

Baby books are seriously lacking a spot for baby’s first fracture. Also: stitches, black eye, etc.

My kid is really brave. As much pain as he was in, he let them work on him.



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Calling All Readers And Parents of Readers

Posted April 29, 2013 By kmarrs

Mostly parents because it was a long time since we were grade school with our noses in books.  Though if you can remember back that far, by all means chime in!

I’m looking for books that my boys have to read!  I want book ideas for my nearly 10-year-old, whom reads at a 6th grade level, but has a 10-year-old’s interests, to read to himself, or with me.  Assume he’s reading it to himself, I may join in.  I can’t keep up with the rate he consumes though.

I’m looking for books to read to my 5-year-old.  He and I just finished up with The Wonderful Wizard of Oz.  He wanted to devour it faster than I could keep up with, meaning he isn’t afraid of a long book to have momma read.  I’m not looking for books to teach him to read with.  I’m looking for books I will read to him, and he’ll learn to see the story in his head.  Learn to follow along and understand what is going on.

And, if you have suggestions that will appeal to both and I can read them to both, by all means!

So, what do your kids aged 5-10 read?

What did you read?

I have some ideas on the to-read-list, but there is no such concept as too many books!


(On an unrelated note: Please join me this Tuesday evening at 8PM EST on twitter for my first ever #GeekParty!  If you follow that link it will pull everything with that hash-tag, allowing you to follow along even if you aren’t following all the party goers.  And as an added bonus, you can send tweets from that field and it’ll automatically include the party tag!  Everyone is welcome, invite a friend.  42 metaphysical geek points as a door prize for all!)

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Don’t Believe In Resolutions

Posted January 2, 2013 By kmarrs

My disinterest in New Years has been noted here before.  Usually with angst.  But as angst clears, stable reigns, and my disinterest continues, I can only conclude that it’s just not my holiday.  As such my drive to do an epic post recapping the last year just isn’t there.  And I loath resolutions.  I suppose it’s because most resolutions I see people make, end up being broken.

I suppose the problem with resolutions is that they are fueled by the fire of having to buy a new calendar.  People seem to think that this purchase will be the inspiration needed to change the core of their being.  And to make it all the more notable, they decided that they are going to change many things at once.  They are going to start a diet, join the gym, and stop smoking all on the same day.  The things is?  Join the gym and the rest might well follow.  After all, working out 1-3+ times a week makes you actually want to not put the time and sweat to waste.  Eating right, can fuel a desire to work out.  You’re denying yourself cake but you still have flabby arms, might as well do something about them too.  But start all 3 on the same day and you’ll burn out in a blaze a glory at the first aerobics class inspired nicotine and sweet tooth craving.  Funny how that works.

So, it is safe to say, I don’t make the false promises to myself or anyone that others call a resolution.

Doesn’t mean 2013 won’t bring me change.

While we may not be resolving to completely change our diets, Pat and I are at least steering it to consistency.  Inspired by both a need to fix Pat’s stomach issues, and regulate our food budget, we have put together a meal plan.  I almost added “of sorts” to the end of that, but no, it’s actually very specific.  Even with allowing 2 set days a week to be “dude fuck the menu” nights, each night for the next month is set.  Tuesdays will feature red meat.  Wednesdays are vegetarian featuring salads or pancakes.  Thursdays are homemade soup or rice based.  Fridays are pasta, fast and easy after a long day.  Saturdays are chicken whether shaked and baked or covered in sauce.  None of this is designed to be low in carbs or calories.  But it’s preset, will bring us together to the table, and the consistency should do wonders for Pat’s digestive system and our pocket book.  Even if it just means we need to plan to drop 200$ on food out of my pay check mid month.  We have 25-30 meals preplanned.  Some assigned nights, some set as alternatives.  And even if every Friday is pasta, with 4-5 different pasta options, it won’t get old.  Just consistent.

Along with this comes rules.  Not that we spent much of the government’s allotted food budget on crap, from here on out, all ice cream, candy and other goodies come out of my pay checks.  If we can’t afford it from those, we can’t afford it at all.  The only exception being if I can pull it out of my oven after putting it together from scratch.  A bag of powdered sugar/white sugar/flour lasts quite awhile and at 2-3$ a pop, isn’t a budget breaker.  Assuming, of course, I’m only buying them a couple times a year.  We also have a master list of the basic staples that we are sticking too, allotting only for common sense based exceptions, especially in the first few goes.  If I forgot to put bread on the master list when I made it, obviously bead can be bought.  And I might want to remember to add it to the list.  Again, hopefully this will fuel a huge change in our kitchen and our pocket book.

We assume we need to alter things as we go.

I’m also hoping that this consistency will lead to more green things fresh from the ground on the table, and other such tweaks as we go.  Even if it’s just substituting this slightly healthier cut of meat for that one.

Ah the gym.  The holidays prevented me from being as diligent there as I would prefer.  I’ve worked too many Wednesday mornings, and there were a couple set days they were simply closed.  We’ve also had some winter storms that have made the extra miles in the car not worth it, even for the gym.  But when I am able to go and when I’m able to go 3 times a week, I do notice a huge difference in my pain levels.

I haven’t taken anything for pain in about a month.  Give or take a few days.  I didn’t exactly mark my last pain pill in a book.  This isn’t to say I’ve spent the month pain free.  But it has been greatly reduced by working my joints with the weight machines, and the times I have hurt, I’ve resisted the pills (even though 99% of the time they were over the counter crap before anyways) because I know they don’t work well enough to be worth the ulcers they give.  Just ask Pat.  At least now with it being just me, my body, and the evil goodness I do to my body in the gym, I can better track what hurts and what helps that hurt.  Which, by-the-way, is the best motivation there is to make sure I get to the gym.  That and it’s a great way to work out aggression.

Speaking of the gym, I made it back to the climbing gym a couple weeks ago, and while there I made it to the top of a wall.  I’d been close before, but never all the way up.  I almost made it to the top of a second section, but my foot kept needing a hold that it kept slipping from and that unnerved me.  I may not have problems with heights, but I do take serious issue with falling.  I’m not done though.  I will go back and try and try again.  I may not be the next spider man, but it is fun and the pride I get from reaching the top is well worth the bruises.  I’m also excited to get back out in a kayak starting in the spring.  Lisa is still my adventure coach, we’re simply biding our time for the weather to break from the cold and warm enough that we don’t risk frost bite. Kayaking and snow don’t mix.

As far as work goes, since Lisa segued me into that, I’m contemplating a move towards a higher position.  I don’t really want to discuss the position yet.  I’m not sure I’m going to make the move so I don’t want to start a whole “good luck omg that would be awesome blah blah blahathon” just yet.  In a lot of ways, yes it would a good step towards my future, but it will also complicate some other areas.  It’s six of one and a half dozen of the other.  That being said, it is one of two of the next logical, linear steps in my career progression, so I imagine I’ll put in the application tomorrow.  Even then, there is no guarantees I’ll get the position.  I may be deemed not ready.  And I’ll be fine with that.  I don’t want to be given a position they don’t know if I’m ready for, just to prove I’m not ready and flame out in a fireball of having lost the bank a few grand.  If holding me back longer to gather more experience allows me to get it next time and hold onto it, and my job in general, then I’ll defer to their judgment and not begrudge it.

I also have to keep in mind I start school on April 29th.  Even going part time, the increase in stress at work paired with starting school may not be awesome.  I know I could do it and be fabulous if I pushed myself, but with me being comfortable enough where I’m at, I’m not being pushed by this drive for MORE POWER.  So I can take my time and ease myself into school without having to ease myself into a promotion at the same time.  Also?  Stable mental health is a beautiful thing.

But again, this is still a good, logical, eventually needed anyway, step in my progression at work, so I’m not going to not try for it.  I’m just also not going to stress over what happens if I don’t get it.  If I don’t get it, the only thing that will happen is that things will stay the same.  And with things being pretty damn good as they are now, I’m OK with that.

Heh.  I make it sound like I don’t want this promotion.  I actually do.  Just a different kind of want.  This isn’t a fire driven by obsession.  It’s a fire driven by a general desire to better myself.  Both burn bright, just different.  Both will have me apply, one will just leave me OK if I’m deemed not ready.  That is a good spot to be in.

I do, indeed, start school in a little less than 4 months.  Which seems so far off yet really isn’t.  Not the way time is flying.  I’ve already been given credit for the classes I took at CSCC.  I have one writing based (heh) test to take, and then I’ll be ready to start scheduling.  I also need to fill out my financial aid paperwork, but I can’t do that until February.  The placement test I can take much sooner.  I just have to see if I can find a proctor to take it at the local library with, or if I have to go downtown instead.  I’d prefer to avoid that as much as possible.

I’m fairly concrete that I’m working towards the business economics major.  It’s that or business management.  However, economics will cover the important part of the management courses, but management only dabbles into the economics.  I’m also looking forward to the economics.  Call me crazy… though I do believe the primary topic of this site did so for you.  I suppose I’m a bit of a numbers geek.  I also suppose that’s why I wanted a bank job/career.  Still heart broken that none of my coworkers love math as much as I do.  Go figure.  Gives me the self boost when my boss comes to me to solve a math equation for her for one of many reports.  To her well deserved defense, she was having an off day.

I’m diving into building my own personal and social life.  Defining Karen.  With the holiday season behind us, Lisa and I are renewing our commitment to our weekly girl’s nights.  Stacy and I are back at our twice a month plans.  And in my free-time, I’m devouring books and TV online.  Game of Thrones is a long but amazing read. Sheldon Cooper is a doof.  Also possibly my hero.  I’m sick and twisted that way.  I have, btw, combined the two (reading and BBT) and I have a good dozen books waiting to be read that promise to teach me some physics.  I’ve always been curious, Big Bang was just the final push.  Ironically, none of the books will cover string theory.  Oh well, they will be a start.  But I have about Twenty-five library books, and one borrowed from a friend, waiting to be read, so really how I have time to write out this post is beyond me.  Also, that’s probably the reason you haven’t seen me much.  Books and the Big Bang.

That and I’ve been too stable to have any drama to blog about.  Woe is me?  Yep.  I was put on, by choice, an anti-depressant a few months back to make sure the change of season didn’t knock me off my stable platform, but last month, when I went in and asked if I could be put on something I could take in the evening because I could never remember to take them at in the morning… well long story short I wasn’t taking it often enough to really be able to say I was on anything and I was still OK, so instead of messing around with a whole new med, I’m just back to a planned not being on anything.

FYI, what I was on gave a norepinephrine boost and I can’t have that boost after about 11AM if I ever wanted to get sleep at a decent hour.  I’m better at remembering meds well into the evening though.  That is the only part of my day that is consistent 95% of the time.  The morning varies too much based on when I go into work, if Luke has school, etc etc etc.  Some days I’m at work at 9:30, some days I’m at the gym at 9:30, and yet others I’m in bed or just getting ready for the day at 9:30.  And there is no use in trying to get me to remember anything before 9:30.  Or really, noon.  But I’m home almost every evening at 8:30 and I conveniently already have an alarm going off.

Any moods or emotions I am going through, other than happy, are too firmly based on logical reactions to what life hands me.  And most of that can be managed through me reading and regular exercise.  Weights and running work out my aggression and yoga or stretching work out my stress.  Reading is an escape based distraction.

I think, it’s not as much that my brain chemistry has changed, but more that I’ve better learned how to avoid certain situations and the skills needed to cope with what I can’t avoid.  After ten years together, Pat and I have learned each other and our marriage well enough to avoid major, yet stupid, fights.  But you can’t live with someone and never argue, so I also know how to better cope when they do crop up.  Whether it’s picking my battles, walking away till things settle, or whatever.  It helps that after ten years, there is a little less to fight about, and a bigger desire to not let something stupid set us apart.  And while that’s just one example of many, there you have it.

I’ve grown.

And resolution or not, I hope to continue that growth through the next calendar.  No set number based goals.  I’ll just wander down this path I’m on looking forward to the opportunities that come from it, and the growth that is sure to happen along the way.

And yes.  Happy New Year’s.

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This ‘N’ That

Posted February 10, 2012 By kmarrs

Alright, so I am way over due to write something, so I am going to touch base with a general check-in.

My blood pressure meds are working well, as long as I don’t miss a dose. But I keep some in my purse so I hopefully won’t miss any. In the event of a break through headache, it is mild and easily stopped by various pain meds.

Mental health wise I’m still doing pretty good. I’m finding myself grumpy with my family, but that’s mostly the boys fighting and such, and then Pat’s reaction to all that. That isn’t mental health though. That is a rightful reaction to the bullshit going on around me.

Work is still phenomenal. I really love every aspect of it. The people, what I’m doing, where I’m at.

I have found the best way to turn your husband green is to mention you are “late” a couple months after your tubal. It doesn’t matter that it’s part of the conversation that you’ve become very irregular since. Yes, I did start, I was just 1 day later than the site guessed and that was a guess based on a 25-28 day cycle range.

Band Back Together is nominated for 3 bloggies. You should probably vote for us.

Cat who moved in has moved out. We were hoping to get him fixed before he started spraying. We had the appointment scheduled even, for this coming Monday. But we didn’t get it in time. The breaking point was when he sprayed the rat, cage and all. Poor Lucky is not very happy with any of us. Anyway, Theo started a stray, his family is still out there. Bye.

The, uh, voices from the previous post was some technical thing involving my brain trying to fill in gaps from 1 ear being covered and listening to music, the other not. Which is reassuring. Because you never know.

We are in process of getting Thomas diagnosed with ADHD. It’s a lengthy process. Luke is SO next. This is vital to him living to see 5. So very vital.

We got our tax return. Then we bought a car. Car payment and all. I love the car. I don’t love the idea of payments. But we can afford it. Mostly. We are removing some of our cable channels to take the edge off. And the car insurance increase was less than expected. We’ll only be making payments for a year, then we’ll pay it the rest of the way off with the next tax return. Don’t mind the green tinge to my skin.

Sammy is beyond anything I could have ever hoped for. She is the most laid back baby I’ve ever met. She is sweet, goofy, cuddly, happy, healthy, beautiful. There is no one who doesn’t adore her.

Alright, that’s the general update. I’ll be around.

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