My Mom


3

On the 19th of March, my mom, sister and I piled into my mom’s car and drove.  Her GPS “Maddy” took us the scenic route past farms, cows, horses and trains, without an interstate in sight.  But we were in no hurry.  We gave ourselves 5 hours to make a 2 hour drive.

We got to the bookstore in Dayton with plenty of time, so we parked the car and decided we’d go into the bookstore to look around, and find out event details.

Around this time, I realized my husband had given me a 50 with the idea that he didn’t like me wondering so far from home without any sort of cash.  I sent him a quick note warning him he’d set me loose in a bookstore with cash.  He made it clear he had been aware longer than I had, of the situation, and that I would indeed owe him.

There was one survivor.  He goes by Washington.

Funny how all three of us bookworms didn’t really realize that the book signing in a book store would involve, you know, many, many books.  I think we blocked that part out in our quest.

Our quest to meet The Bloggess.

After we spent ourselves broke, we wandered to a nearby subway for an early dinner and then a few other shops to poke around.  But with only an hour and a half left before the signing started, we made our way back to the bookstore to find our place in line.  With a heads-up from the vixen Dawnie, I knew we needed to be there well in advance.  We were the second group in line, but it grew well before 6, when we could find seats.  By the time The Bloggess was presented at 7, it was standing room only.

We had front row seats.  Score!

The Dayton reading had the privilege to be the audience that was not allowed to witness a single curse word, as she read a chapter from her book.  So Jenny, in advance, set about finding the chapter with the fewest F-bombs, and friends.  The winning chapter had only 12 words that needed replaced with hippopotamus.  You heard me, hippopotamus.  But oh you should have heard her!

We laughed, we cried, we laughed some more.

Then we single file got to meet the Goddess that is the Bloggess and have her sign our books.  Our coveted books of inappropriate hilarity.  I was lucky enough to be able to have 2 copies signed.  I bought the paperback version for myself (with a new bonus chapter, yo!) and had my older hardback version signed for my good friend Lisa who was spending the day back in Columbus growing older.  No, seriously, it was her birthday.  When I mentioned this to Jenny, she was sure to wish her a happy birthday in writing.  Lisa is one lucky hippopotamus!

We are all very lucky hippopotamuses.  Not just that this book has been written by someone so very real and honest and inappropriately hilarious.

But that this single person could make it clear to all of us who are so very isolated and alone, that we are in fact one of millions and not so different after all, is something we all needed.  We aren’t the only one with chronic pain.  We aren’t the only one with crippling anxiety.  We aren’t the only one with depression so bad we can’t leave our bed for days if not weeks.  We aren’t the only one who has cut to feel something.  We aren’t the only one.  You, I, Jenny.  We are all so unique but in the ways we need to be the same, to not be alone, Jenny has made it clear we are a community.  She has given us that gift.

So we are very lucky hippopotami indeed!

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This is little Ginny Rose, whom is named for my Maternal Grandmother Virginia. Little Ginny is forever perched on my right shoulder.  Her and her books.

Years ago, my mom and sister got matching cherry blossoms. With Rachel and I having been born right outside DC, it was a way to tie my mom and sister together in a way the was meaningful to their beginnings as mother and daughter.

For awhile there, I too was maybe going to get a cherry blossom, but my sister respectfully requested that remain just her and my mom.  So my mom, ready for her second tattoo, opted to pick something new for just her and I.  With me having been old enough to remember her mother and having forged a close bond, we selected an owl which was something her mother collected and would forever tie the 3 generations even if her mother would never be inked or see ours.

I then suggested to take it a step farther and have a stack of books since we are/were all 3 known for our love of books.  Mom elected to keep hers to just the owl, and she did inverse the colors, but hers is equally adorable and forever perched on her left shoulder.

So is how am I celebrating turning 29 very very soon.  My first tattoo and a celebration of generations.

1

Last week? Sucked! So it is way past time to discuss the moments in my life that were epic this past little bit.

1. I got to work out some anger towards a PR bitch who wanted me to blatantly lie to you guys.  For 10 dollars. Not that 10,000 would have made the difference. The 10 dollar part was simply insult to injury. Where I am willing to be sponsored or link ads to the right places, I won’t lie about it. Period. And I’ll only support what I am willing to stand behind.  I did take great joy in sending her a link to the dictionary definition of “authentic”, though.

2. One of the local Kmarts isn’t able to renew their lease due to the rent being randomly doubled.  Which sucks but they are in “please buy everything we have as fast as possible” mode and my mom took me to cash in on some good deals.  I was smart enough to stick to a list of things we’ve actually been needing for a long while.  Cuts down on the “you spent what on me?” remorse.  Plus, some will be paid back when I get my bonus in May.  So, there is that.  She/we bought:

  • Shoe rack for the bazillion pairs of shoes we have lying about.  5 people does not simply equal 5 pairs of shoes.  Nope.  We’d been using a laundry basket to dump them in.  See below.
  • Laundry baskets.  10 of them for 15$.  Yes, they are cheap and small, but still better than what I’m replacing.
  • Laundry hamper that I heart so bad! Old one? Also falling apart.
  • Shoes for me.  White dress sandals because I had a serious gap in that department.  Black flats to replace ones that are falling a apart.  And a pair of flip flops that are comfy as fuck and were like 6$.
  • Summer clothes for Sammy.  We are keeping it simply because I’m thinking it’ll be hot as Hades this year, so we stocked on onesies and some cute little sundresses
  • Trash cans.  Buying trash cans isn’t glamorous unless you have been in serious need for a couple new ones for a long ass time but can never seem to get around to it.  20% off already inexpensive?  Yeah, we can get to that!

3. Wendy’s has this new sandwich that involves spicy chicken, bacon and guacamole.  OMG I have never had a fast food sandwich that tasted even half that good.

4. I took the time to really sit and study Sammy as she rolls from back to belly.  That shit is funny, yo.  But oh the adorables!  Also?  While I wouldn’t call her mobile, she is far from stationary.  Only, she can only really go in reverse.  And girl missed the line to have review mirrors installed.

5. I was able to prove maybe I’m more ahead of the ADHD game with my 4yo than I thought.  Fidget beads are a huge success!

6. I am taking the Chibi Challenge!  If you would like to aid in my mental health ego, you are welcome to comment with 3 words that describe me.  Think positive! The results are going to be built into a word cloud, not unlike what I posted all day Sunday.  They are fun to make though.  You can make them on Wordle.

7. I am in talks with Becky and while I’m not currently a Brain Behind The Band, my return is in the future once I get the rest of my life squared away.  I just need to focus on other things so that I have the energy free to give the band all the energy that I choose to give.

9. I am to the point where while a Mt Dew would sound awesome, I would no longer kill for it.  Just maybe maim.

10. My husband is seeing and commenting on noticeable signs of improvement in my mood over this time last week.  So maybe I am right that yes I can be off my meds, this past week just really did suck.  I got a lot of feedback from others as well that dude, the week sucked.  BUT if I can survive that week med free, I can survive anything med free.

So those are my glitter spots that I’m hanging onto.  Do you have any you care to share?

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Today I threw a Pi Day Pie Party.  Me.  Miss anti-social.  Who struggles to throw a damn family birthday party for my kids.  I threw a party not because I had to but because I wanted to.
I’m not going to lie, that was the best damn party I’ve ever been to and I get the badge of honor of having thrown it!

First off, it helps that people like pie.  No really.  It seems you people really like your pie.

We (because Brenda brought it) served Shepard’s Pie for dinner (to add a level of responsible) and then had 2 different tables full of 10 different dessert pies.  It was almost overwhelming.  I mean, where to begin?

I invited all those in my life who would see the humour of having a Pie Party on Pi Day.  Even if I had to get them past the initial concept of what Pi Day was, the humour was not lost.  I had pieces of my whole life gathered at my place.  My best friend Stacy from high school.  My long time friend Jen and her boyfriend Phil.  I had former co-workers from the camera store, Brenda and her husband Scott, Kate and her boyfriend Bobby, and Jim.  I had current co-workers from the bank Steve and Michael.  And of course my mom and kids.

Pat?  Pat has game nights on Wednesday.  He refused to make this an exception.  But, by him not being there I was able to make this a major gathering instead of just the few he was comfortable with.  I mean, he has major social anxiety.  Everyone invited was wonderful, but he still would have been in social hell under his own roof.  I missed him but this party was a blast!

Moving on to future plans:

#56 on my life list (that will be in the next batch I post up here) clearly reads: Pick 3 more “holidays” to throw parties for – 1 for each season.  I figure 1 every 3ish months.  3/14 is Pi Day.  Star Wars day on May the 4th.  And September’s?  It’s obvious: International Talk like a Pirate Day – Sept 19.  Apparently, my life has come to this and I rather like it!  Now I just have to pick one that falls between November and January. Ideally December but I can’t find any really geeky holidays that month. December 16th is Chocolate Covered Anything Day, though, so that has potential.

Rejected holidays for my parties are:

  • Stupid Guy Thing Day – June 22
  • Please Take My Children to Work Day – June 26
  • Seems September 5th is “Be late for something day”.  I’d host a party with that theme, but who the fuck knows when people would show up.
  • Nose Hair Maintenance Day – Sept 8
  • Take It in the Ear Day – December 8
  • Monkey Day – Dec 14 is the day we all gather to steal a monkey from the Cols zoo
  • Nose Hair Maintenance Day – Sept 8

I can’t make this shit up!  Which, I really don’t have to since someone else did.

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Actually, it was my idea.

My mom was convinced I’d miss her too much to part with her over night.  But really, while I will miss her, yes, I have so much I want to get done that this break is really nice.  Also, sleep.  I like sleep.  I don’t mind getting up with her at 6AM.  And I’m even waking up rested enough to function.  But sleep on my terms? One night?  Yes please!

So for 24 hours, my mom has my youngest and my oldest.  And I have more quiet than I’m use to.

So, my to-do/fun things list:

  • Milk and pull-up run (done)
  • Put away Sammy’s 0-3 month clothes and pull out 3-6 and get 6-9 and 9-12 ready to go. (done)
  • Compose list of what clothes need to be bought yet for current and next size (done)
  • Candyland with the 3yo (2 games down, more to come I’m sure)
  • Bubble bath for the 3yo (done)
  • Nice dinner just Luke, momma and daddy (done)
  • Basic house upkeep like laundry, trash, pets (done until I spot something else)
  • Bank account info flash cards (1/4th done)
  • Bedtime stories and cuddles with the 3yo (done)
  • Sleep for more than a 6 hour stretch (in the early planning stages)

So do I miss her? Sure.  But I’m keeping busy and she is safe, loved, and happy.  So I’ll see her tomorrow and smother her with I missed you kisses.

2

With this post, I’m trying to balance respectful with amusement, all while remaining 100% truthful.  If I failed in any way, please let me know and I’ll edit as needed.  Not looking to start a religion war.  I don’t see any point to it.  I firmly believe we all have a right to believe and have faith in what best suits us or seems the most truthful or worthy to us as individuals.  With that in mind I present:

My mom doesn’t get the paper.  Ever.  Hasn’t for years.  No interest.  No need.  Doesn’t get the paper.

Sunday, for the first time in roughly a year, my mom needed a paper.  She was carving pumpkins with Thomas.  So Saturday night she prayed that she would remember to get a paper on her way home from church Sunday.

Sunday morning, when she woke up, there was a Sunday paper sitting on her doorstep.  And it wasn’t from a neighbor knowing she needed it.

Oh, and I saw it with my own eyes.  This is in no way exaggerated.

I don’t know what you believe.  I myself am not Christian though I do believe in higher powers.  A Goddess and a God to be exact, with the possibility of other, lessor higher powers.

So I don’t know if it was her God
A god
A goddess
But I can’t help but admit some higher power was at work there.

I don’t know who I’m blaming, but a couple on this list could fit the bill.

That, or if her religion is right, her God simply said, “A newspaper?  I can do this!”  Probably was one of the easier requests he’s received.

4

This is another one of those a lot to cover in one post days, I’m afraid.

I’ve hit a bit of a rough patch. I don’t think, at this time, that it calls for meds. It’s just life doing it’s thing.

We’ll start with Facebook. I’ve been growing disgruntled with Facebook for a long time. No one likes that it sells everyone’s information, let’s be honest, but we use it. Why do we use it? It’s the only social media site of its kind. No one likes all the design changes, but we are free customers, so what right do we have to protest. Though, since they are still making money off of us, one might argue we have a right to be heard, even if that money isn’t coming from our pockets. But that is neither here nor there. We all have had issue with Facebook. But what choice?

Then along came Google+. But I resisted. It was yet another site to maintain. Why deal with it? “It’s better!” I was told. Yes, but the people I choose to connect with are all on Facebook. “It’s just like Facebook but better!” I was told. “It’s just like Facebook but your parents aren’t here!” They added. And I will admit, that is a selling point to my generation. So with time I started my Google+ account and maintained both. Knowing all along, if I dropped one, it would be Facebook. Because, as promised, Google+ was indeed better. Though they did lie about the part about your parents not being there. My mother added me to a circle the other day. So, in response, I added her to a “Stuff I’m willing to let my mother read” circle. Because, if my mother is going to be on Google+, at least I have that option. What will I censor from my mom? Don’t know. I haven’t decided yet.

But all this time, I’ve been maintaining both all while getting more and more disgruntled with Facebook. Then came the drama. I don’t care to discuss details. Really, there is more than one event. But in the long run, Facebook was starting to remind me more and more of high school. And I swore almost a decade ago, when I left those halls, I would never go back. And yet, Facebook dragged me back. So today, I had enough. I’m no longer on Facebook and I’m not looking back.

Part of me feels bad that I gave no warning to anybody. No one. But then I decided, those who care to contact me, will find a way. I’m not hard to track down. Hell, type my first and last name into Google and this blog comes up. Want to know what’s going on in my life? This is the first place to look. Twitter is second. Facebook was third all along. And those who aren’t willing to keep up with my blog or take a peek at my twitter, can’t be all that interested in keeping up with my life in the first place. I mean, fine… maybe not everyone has the time to read my blog rambles. But twitter limits me to 140 characters at a time. Who doesn’t have time for that? And then, there is also my cell phone or email for contact. So really, if deleting my Facebook means I lose contact with people, then they must not be trying.

Rough patch 2 is money. Always money. It isn’t so much bills not getting paid, or basic needs not being met. I’m just starting to feel the lack of any real spending money. Which might sound stupid. But what would I do with said spending money? Well for starters, I have a coupon for toilet bowl cleaner I’d love to use. The boys could use odds and ends of clothing. Nothing major. They aren’t going naked. But a few more pants here and a couple shirts there to fill in the gaps. Sammy has a longer list. Hers is also the cheapest to fill in the gaps, though. But with Sammy, I was expecting her to be born a bit sooner, and I wasn’t prepared for it to get so cold so soon. So most of the clothes in her size aren’t really for this season. We are managing fine, but really, I’d like more options for her. I’d like 50$ to head to Once Upon a Child to buy pretty things. Because dressing her up is one of my greatest joys in life right now. And it makes the other things disappear.

I had that sleep study last night and to be honest, I was dreading it. Oddly, people were expecting me to be worried about leaving Sammy, but that’s just silly. I mean, after 8 years and now 3 kids, I knew without a doubt she was in highly capable hands. I made sure before I left that Pat would have everything he could possibly need within reach and gave him a few words of Sammy specific wisdom and that was the extent of my worry. Honestly, I was looking forward to the option to sleep through the night without being woken every few hours. Don’t get me wrong. I have no problems getting up with Sammy in the night. She is little. She needs me. But one night off? Hells yeah! And then right back to it the next day.

Lunesta and that was that. While I may not have been the most chipper person at 5:20 when they woke me, I survived and got real sleep.

Do I know anything result wise? Nope. And I won’t for a week or more. They checked for every possible sleep problem there is, but just because I spent the night wired to machines, doesn’t mean I magically know what’s wrong. The results still have to be studied by a doctor who wasn’t even on site last night. That’s how it is. So I wait. I do know I checked off more than my fair share of items on the symptoms list though. So I’m guessing there is something.

Sammy is officially 1 month old now.  Up until now, her eating and sleeping schedule has been 100% baby led.  Since she hasn’t had days and nights confused, I haven’t worried.  But she has been very inconsistent in sleeping length/times and bottle times/amounts.  So starting today, I’m going to start tracking her baby led schedule looking for patterns and see if I can get her a bit more regular.  Even if that regular is her 2PM bottle always being 2oz instead of 4 because she just wants a snack.  Whatever.  I did this same thing with both boys.  I know when to follow her cues and such so with time and patience, this isn’t overly hard.  I’m just aiming towards a touch more predictability.  As much as what’s possible with someone this little anyways.

I’m going to stop here.  There is more to post but I’m done for now.

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