Open Doors

By trying to put logic to this subject, you’re trying to put logic to BPD.  And I ask you: Would this site even need to exist if you could put logic to BPD?  All I know is that this is what 11 years of trial and error with my husband has led to.   I […]

Patrick the Grey

This has some controversy.  I told my mom about this and it felt like she was ready to disown me.  I think she is settling into it some.  All I can ask her for is support, if not understanding.  She doesn’t have to agree. Neither do you. With BPD comes black and white thinking.  You […]

Yes, They Stayed

Look, the decision to leave the kids with Pat was impossible and yet obvious. I grieve not waking to their fighting and kissing them goodnight every night, but it was a decision that had to be made with logic and not emotion. First, while I am biologically their mother, he has been their primary caregiver […]

The Words

I’ve spent all week so far telling people I see daily, one by one, what I did.  I tell them as I find the breath, the power to get the words out.  See, in comparison leaving Pat was easy.  I wasn’t happy.  I haven’t been happy.  I was not going to ever get magically happy.  […]

Alone

It’s just after 11 Sunday night and I’m laying on the floor of the spare room at my mom’s under the ceiling fan, using the breeze as a sensory based self soothing tool, trying to find the motivation to unpack. I walked out on my marriage today. I’ll talk about it later. I can’t right […]



champinejanelle@mailxu.com